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The-asshole-you-made @dragonass69.bsky.social · 11h

Things have been quiet.I had my night of a breakdown,sobbing and laying in the fetal position about 3 weeks ago when I was finally alone. She's changed schedules and updated fb to say single.I just have waves of anger,sadness, feeling lost, unattractive, lonely. Therapist says im normal in this. 😢💔

The-asshole-you-made @dragonass69.bsky.social · 14d

And so it begins.She's splitting things up. It was just the cookbooks but it still hit hard. I just said "doesn't matter, get rid of them all." At this point I'm not ready,it hasn't even been 3 weeks. I had to walk away. I dont think she knows how hard this is on me. *Panic attack and crying* #NotOk

The-asshole-you-made @dragonass69.bsky.social · 15d

Addiction she said she didnt hear me,but also didnt bother to ask again or check on me the rest of the night. Therapist still made me feel like it was my fault,because I didnt repeat myself. Wtf
#biastherapist #doublestandards

The-asshole-you-made @dragonass69.bsky.social · 15d

After 2 weeks & 3 days I was not sick and alone to have my emotional breakdown. I got some relief from the anger and ugly cried for a bit. But I know there is more to come. Ive been so very calm these last 2 weeks,some has to do with being so ill. Dr appt in the AM to get my physical health back.

The-asshole-you-made @dragonass69.bsky.social · 18d

I hate that you seem so happy. Im slowly dying physically and emotionally. And you act as if nothing has happened. How can you be so callous about breaking my heart? And have no problem taking my money for b.s. items.

The-asshole-you-made @dragonass69.bsky.social · 20d

I can feel the breakdown coming. I just need to hold it off till Tuesday.
#breakdown #gonnaloseit #hopeicanstopcrying

The-asshole-you-made @dragonass69.bsky.social · 21d

Been quiet cause I got some kind of plague and haven't been feeling like💩.So my emotional breakdown hasn't fully come cause I've been concentrating on my physical health.But I still went w her to urgent care cause she got sick.Then I got worse. #sucker #hopelessromantic #broken

The-asshole-you-made @dragonass69.bsky.social · 26d

The-asshole-you-made @dragonass69.bsky.social · 29d

"I didn't throw you a bday party because of your anxiety". My anxiety only hits when you change plans last minute cause of my being on time anxiety. Not for fun surprises. How did she not understand when I told her that exact explanation?

The-asshole-you-made @dragonass69.bsky.social · 29d

I still dont understand. As I walk around the house seeing all the love notes I've left for her how she ever thought I didnt love her. All the surprises all the songs I dedicated to her. I may have verbally gotten quiet but not once did I ever stop loving or trying to tell her how I felt.

The-asshole-you-made @dragonass69.bsky.social · 29d

Wow she cares more about me now that she dumped me. Go figure. #wtf #atleastshecaresnow

The-asshole-you-made @dragonass69.bsky.social · Sep 23

Thrashing angry dreams. Woke myself up several times by yelling or thrashing around fighting. Puked after I got up and ate. Anxiety and panic attacks when its quiet. Not that any of you care.

The-asshole-you-made @dragonass69.bsky.social · Sep 22

So my ex of a 2 days thinks its okay to keep sending me funny memes and videos like everything is fine. It hurts everytime I see one. And the panic attacks won't stop unless I sleep or constantly keep my brain occupied.
#cruel #keeppouringsalton #lovesick #ptsd

The-asshole-you-made @dragonass69.bsky.social · Sep 21

So hard when your heart is in pieces and you see your ex of 24 hours all happy and chipper. Not one care given that she gave your hope for so long and then snatched it away and broke you,after she got the camping trip you paid for.
#lost #tearsarestuck #fml #iwelcomedeath

The-asshole-you-made @dragonass69.bsky.social · Sep 20

She told me she doesn't want to be in this relationship anymore. I dont know what to do now. For me this was it,but my ptsd fucked it up,I wasnt strong enough. Will I be now??
#planaorplanb?

The-asshole-you-made @dragonass69.bsky.social · Sep 18

So many times yesterday and some today I couldn't keep my eyes off you. The pull to kiss you and your neck was strong. I miss your touch so much it hurts.
#saddragon
#longforyourtouch

The-asshole-you-made @dragonass69.bsky.social · Sep 17

Sometimes my brain says "this place is gonna be all your dying regrets and sorrows. But I cant say how I feel on fb. She will just be offended and hurt. Sometimes i feel like My dad was right,I'm a failure and I'll always be a failure.Try as I might I cant get her forgiveness. Day by day Dragon

The-asshole-you-made @dragonass69.bsky.social · Sep 17

She's distant. Hoping shes just tired. Trying to stay upbeat but somethings get me down.
#justwantlove #dragonluvsowl

The-asshole-you-made @dragonass69.bsky.social · Sep 16

We didn't know if the cabins had bunks or what,so we brought the air mattress. I was a little disappointed when we got there and she said "oh they have beds which do you want?"But im also a little relieved cause I might have cried had i got to cuddle her,or even just touch her skin more.#keepworking

The-asshole-you-made @dragonass69.bsky.social · Sep 11

Therapy sucked today. I usually feel better after getting things off my chest but today it didn't matter.She admits I've shown improvement,but she is still dwelling in the past. Until she can work passed it we are in a holding pattern.Every time its well 4 years ago you did this. The guilt compounds

The-asshole-you-made @dragonass69.bsky.social · Sep 10

Made a sand trap for the front door. Thought back to when the first one broke,2018,7 years ago and she said that's when things got bad. As I am getting back to my roots I realized this was prolly not a coincidence. So hopefully the new one will help.
#pagan #blessedbe #dowhathouwillharmnone

The-asshole-you-made @dragonass69.bsky.social · Sep 8

That's not very hopefully.
#runereading
#ouch

The-asshole-you-made @dragonass69.bsky.social · Sep 8

Well that's not hopefully.