Lightnews — Scholar-powered news

Dr. Dave @drdave1999.bsky.social · 1h

Also Trump: It just kills me that Obama won a Nobel Peace Prize. He’s smarter than me, more popular than me, more successful than me, and he’s not even white. I keep having nightmares about him— even Melania would rather be with him than me. I hate him like you wouldn’t believe.

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Dr. Dave @drdave1999.bsky.social · 3h

This is dangerous misinformation.

Antifa doesn’t exist. It’s not an organization, and it’s not a political group— it’s a PHILOSOPHY.

‘Antifa’ simply means anti-fascist.

If you don’t support fascism, you’re Antifa.

Don’t let morons confuse you.

Now, MAGA, on the other hand—

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Dr. Dave @drdave1999.bsky.social · 4h

As always, I’m here to translate for you.

What Thune actually meant was, “If the Democrats had won the majority, we’d still be living in a democracy instead of a cruel authoritarian state.”

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Dr. Dave @drdave1999.bsky.social · 4h

It’s “frighteningly-realistic parody.”

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Dr. Dave @drdave1999.bsky.social · 5h

Q: Lara, can you tell us about the 8 wars that Trump ended?

Lara: No, of course not— because we made all that shit up.

Q: So— does he really deserve a Nobel Prize?

Lara: He doesn’t ‘deserve’ it, he’s simply demanding it. Give it to him so he’ll shut the fuck up already.

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Dr. Dave @drdave1999.bsky.social · 6h

Trump: What a joke! Imagine giving the Nobel Peace Prize to someone in a dictatorship like Venezuela. Did you know they don’t even speak English there? ‘Machado’ is probably the Venezuelan word for ‘undeserving,’ but I don’t even know anyone who speaks Venezuelan.

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Dr. Dave @drdave1999.bsky.social · 7h

There’s only one word that could adequately describe her, but unlike the Brits and Aussies, here in America we consider it to be forbidden from use under any circumstance.

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Dr. Dave @drdave1999.bsky.social · 8h

Trump: You see, the radical left Nobel committee was rigged against me the whole time.

Q: The decision was made in Norway by intelligent people with integrity, and they didn’t choose you because you’re an authoritarian moron and an enemy of peace.

Trump: I want you arrested.

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Dr. Dave @drdave1999.bsky.social · 10h

Don’t ever doubt that RFK Jr. was chosen— strategically— to run HHS with the goal of destroying science in the U.S.!!!

This lunatic is now suggesting that circumcision is linked to autism.

If you have an IQ with 3 digits, you won’t believe ANYTHING this imbecile says— ever!!!

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Dr. Dave @drdave1999.bsky.social · 22h

Once again, for those who aren’t healthcare professionals: Trump didn’t take an IQ test. He took a dementia-screening test called the Montreal. Obama was too young to have been given the test.

Anyone who doesn’t have dementia can get a perfect score. Trump barely knows his name.

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Dr. Dave @drdave1999.bsky.social · 1d

Ex-NFL star and current imbecile Herschel Walker has been confirmed as the U.S. ambassador to the Bahamas.

‘The Bahamas is only 60 miles off the coast of FL, so I’m gonna drive over regularly,’ Walker said.

Diplomats around the world broke down in tears.
apple.news/AuwnkSAMwRpK...

Ex-NFL star Herschel Walker confirmed as first US Bahamas ambassador in nearly 15 years — Reuters

The U.S. Senate on Tuesday confirmed former NFL star and political candidate Herschel Walker to serve as the United States' next ambassador to the Bahamas, filling a position that has been vacant for ...

apple.news

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Dr. Dave @drdave1999.bsky.social · 1d

It’s the list of Republican politicians who should be in prison for the rest of their lives.

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Dr. Dave @drdave1999.bsky.social · 1d

Also Todd Blanche: I’m just so proud that we have an AG who could stand up to a grizzly bear or a saltwater crocodile, biting off body parts until she stood there, dripping blood, with entrails and torn cartilage hanging from her teeth, victorious in the denial of her humanity.

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Dr. Dave @drdave1999.bsky.social · 1d

Also Trump: No one knows more about low IQs than I do. I once correctly identified a drawing of an elephant. Anyone else would’ve said, “It’s a giraffe,” but I knew it was an elephant. That’s why I was elected— because I know things. I know it all. Now, who’s this woman Crockett?

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Dr. Dave @drdave1999.bsky.social · 1d

Q: They’re calling you the “Peace President.”

Trump: Sorry, what was that? I was distracted for a moment because I was ordering the California National Guard to go into Oregon and split some Antifa skulls in Portland.

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Dr. Dave @drdave1999.bsky.social · 1d

Six former U.S. surgeons general warned in an op-ed that changes made by HHS Secretary RFK Jr. are "endangering the health of the nation."

Of course, MAGAts are so moronic that they’ll ignore the former surgeons general and continue to trust the heroin addict with brain worms.

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Dr. Dave @drdave1999.bsky.social · 1d

A key stipulation in the Israel-Hamas accord is that Hamas must ‘disarm & disband,’ which they haven’t yet agreed to do.

Q: What did Trump say to scare them toward agreeing?

A: He told them their health insurance premiums would double, and that he’d bankrupt all their farmers.

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Dr. Dave @drdave1999.bsky.social · 1d

Trump: They never talked about George Washington having dementia. When he was President 500 years ago, you’d never have turned on your TV and heard such nonsense.

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Dr. Dave @drdave1999.bsky.social · 1d

Also Trump: Republicans control the entire government, so we’re actually responsible for whatever’s wrong— but I’ll tell you it’s the Democrats’ fault, and you’ll believe me because you’re not even as smart as the orange dye I put on my hair every morning.

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Dr. Dave @drdave1999.bsky.social · 2d

Reportedly, some GOP Senators are getting uncomfortable with Trump’s aggressive and illegal use of the National Guard— especially sending troops from one state to another, against that governor’s wishes.

So, a dictator’s okay— until he actually starts flexing.
apple.news/Astr6C4E0SFi...

GOP senators increasingly anxious about Trump’s aggressive use of National Guard — The Hill

Republican senators are increasingly uneasy about President Trump’s standoff with Democratic governors over deploying National Guard troops from other states to Portland, Ore., and Chicago.

apple.news

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Dr. Dave @drdave1999.bsky.social · 2d

Also Leavitt: President Trump has grifted billions of dollars in just the 9-months since he returned to office, but it’s frankly ridiculous that anyone would think he did that for his own benefit. He embezzled that money for you. The American people just want him to have it.

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Dr. Dave @drdave1999.bsky.social · 2d

Maybe the Democrats can persuade Merrick Garland to oversee the hearings and investigations into the appalling corruption in the Trump administration, while pundits exclaim, “He’s working behind the scenes— just give him time. You’re not a lawyer; you don’t know what he’s doing!”

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Dr. Dave @drdave1999.bsky.social · 2d

Former FBI Director James Comey appeared in federal court this morning after the corrupt dictator to whom he awarded the 2016 election ordered it.

He is absolutely innocent of the current charges— but no one could be more guilty of election interference.
apple.news/AbFYTtRIsRgi...

Ex-FBI Director James Comey pleads not guilty after Trump called for his prosecution — NBC News

Comey was charged amid the president's repeated calls for investigations of his political opponents.

apple.news

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Dr. Dave @drdave1999.bsky.social · 2d

To paraphrase the late, great Rodney Dangerfield, ‘When Stephen Miller asked AOC to sleep with him, she began to cry. He asked, ‘What— are you going to hate yourself in the morning?’ She said, ‘No, I hate myself now.’’

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Dr. Dave @drdave1999.bsky.social · 2d

Q: Mr. President, can you point to a woman who was so aggressive that you were too intimidated to continue abusing her sexually?

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