Don Dudding
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drrhetoric.bsky.social
Don Dudding
@drrhetoric.bsky.social
51 followers 57 following 630 posts
Retired English teacher now daily webcomic cartoonist
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drrhetoric.bsky.social
Noted. #webcomics
Petro the Dinosaur announces So I've got this passive-aggressive coworker who keeps leaving notes in the break room. Beans the Unicorn replies Like what kind of notes? What do they say? Petro says Things like "Stop nuking cabbage in the microwave" and "HR already knows about you." Petro adds I'd complain to my supervisor but I suspect it might be my supervisor.
December 23, 2025 at 1:15 PM
drrhetoric.bsky.social
Calculating Happiness. #webcomics
Beans the Unicorn, Zeno the Robot, and Petro the Dinosaur are having dinner together and Beans says So should we just split the bill three ways? Zeno replies I don't know why you think we should split the bill, I never ordered anything! Beans says Well, maybe it's because I'm cheap and Petro's always broke. Petro chimes in And it gives you a chance to do some math, and you love doing math, right?
December 22, 2025 at 1:46 PM
drrhetoric.bsky.social
Growing a Spine. #webcomics
Beans says to Elf on a Shelf, Shelf Elf, I'm surprised to see you here this close to Christmas. The Elf replies I got special permission to take time off to promote my new book. It's about maintaining mindfulness when your job requires you to snoop on others. Beans replies I guess that makes you the Elf on the Self-Help Shelf.
December 19, 2025 at 1:12 PM
drrhetoric.bsky.social
Going Down. #webcomics
Beans the Unicorn is talking to Petro the Dinosaur and says I was stuck in the slow elevator with someone from my apartment building. I don't really know them but I've seen them enough to think we should act like we know each other. Petro says That sounds awkward. So what did you say to them? Beans replies I said, "Good old ground floor," and they said "Can't wait to see it again."
December 18, 2025 at 1:22 PM
drrhetoric.bsky.social
Silence is Golden. #webcomics
Zeno the Robot is talking to Petro the Dinosaur and says I'm trying to understand sentient communication here on Earth. Can you teach me how to recognize if a gap in conversation is actually an awkward silence? Petro replies It's like this. Has anyone ever told you that you look like a recycling bin? In the last panel, Zeno glares at Petro without saying anything.
December 17, 2025 at 1:01 PM
drrhetoric.bsky.social
Aisle of Misfit Dinosaurs. #webcomics
Petro the Dinosaur is talking to his friend, Beans the Unicorn, and says I hate going to the grocery store. I'm always running into people I don't want to see. Beans asks Who are you trying to avoid? Petro replies Oh, you know, folks like Capt'n Crunch, Betty Crocker, and that dude from the Pringles can. I think they look down on me because I can only afford the off brand stuff.
December 16, 2025 at 1:42 PM
drrhetoric.bsky.social
Walk the Line. #webcomics
Petro the Dinosaur is complaining to his friend, Beans the Dinosaur. Petro says I lost my bus pass so I had to walk to work. Then when I got there I found out I had an afternoon shift instead of a morning shift. By the time I walked home, it was time to walk back for my afternoon shift. Beans says Dang, Petro, you can really put the path in pathetic.
December 15, 2025 at 1:37 PM
drrhetoric.bsky.social
Bingle Jells. #webcomics
Beans the Unicorn says Cupid? Why are you here on a Christmas Friday? We don't expect you until the day after Christmas. Cupid replies I'm a technical consultant for all those Hallmark Christmas movies. I make sure the lead falls in love with both the new guy and his small town.
December 12, 2025 at 1:08 PM
drrhetoric.bsky.social
What's my line? #webcomics
Petro the Dinosaur is standing next to Zeno the Robot and says to him, I know most folks don't like waiting in line for the bathroom, but I kinda like it. I pretend I'm waiting in line for a ride at Disneyland. Zeno asks Have you ever actually been to Disneyland? Petro replies Heck no, rides make me nauseous. But I really like the feeling of knowing where I'm going.
December 11, 2025 at 1:13 PM
drrhetoric.bsky.social
It's the little things. #webcomics
Zeno is complaining to Petro the Dinosaur and says You know, before I came here I expected this planet to be larger. Petro replies I know a song about that. It's called "It's a Small World After all." Zeno says And nothing I read prepared me for how annoying some of your folks can be. Petro tells him Perhaps you should have read the small print.
December 10, 2025 at 1:20 PM
drrhetoric.bsky.social
Ne'er glare nor stare. #webcomics
Beans the Unicorn is hanging out with Petro the Dinosaur and Petro says How come every time someone says "I don't want to be rude, but" they always follow it by saying something rude? Beans replies When I catch people staring at me, I just assume they've never seen a unicorn before, and they've probably had a thousand experiences with being rude.
December 9, 2025 at 1:44 PM
drrhetoric.bsky.social
A Thorny Issue. #webcomics
Beans the Unicorn says to Petro the Dinosaur My wish flower finally bloomed. It took me a century to get it to bloom. After a 100 years of careful nurturing, the plant flowers and grants a wish. Petro says That's cool. What did you wish for? Beans replies I wished that a 100 years ago, I had planted three of them.
December 8, 2025 at 1:28 PM
drrhetoric.bsky.social
Like a Boz. #webcomics
Beans the Unicorn is talking to Charles Dickens and says You're always welcome here, but especially this time of year. Dickens replies I hear a lot of people are doing a "Dickens Themed" Christmas this year. Beans asks Do you suppose it's a Victorian-era nostalgia thing? Dickens says No, I think it's more of a poverty thing.
December 5, 2025 at 1:09 PM
drrhetoric.bsky.social
Cross Yer T's. #webcomics
Zeno the Robot is playing a video game with Petro the Dinosaur. Petro says I remember when people used to say "Mind your P's and Q's" but I have no idea why it was the letters P and Q. Zeno replies They stand for pints and quarts. The saying arose during the Temperance Movement. Petro says I suppose in the future, they'll tell you robots to mind your 1's and 0's.
December 4, 2025 at 1:49 PM
drrhetoric.bsky.social
Set in Stone. #webcomics
Zeno the Robot is lecturing Petro the Dinosaur and says So you see, Petro, times change and attitudes change. People these says want to take down many civil war memorials because they reflect antiquated racist ideologies that shouldn't be celebrated. Petro replies Oh, okay, so it doesn't have anything to do with the "statues of limitations"?
December 3, 2025 at 1:53 PM
drrhetoric.bsky.social
It tolls for thee. #webcomics
Beans the Unicorn is talking to Petro the Dinosaur and says So I said hi to a new neighbor in our elevator the other day. She didn't say anything. She just stared past me like I was invisible. The silence grew so thick that every time the elevator dinged another floor, it felt like it was telling me, "Good grief, I'm embarrassed for you."
December 2, 2025 at 1:22 PM
drrhetoric.bsky.social
Courtesy Call. #webcomics
Beans the Unicorn is talking to Zenos the Robot and says I try not to be rude to those people who call my phone trying to sell me stuff. I know they're just trying to make a living, and I think "That could be me." Zeno replies Sometimes I get those calls from an alternative dimension. And I think "Wow, that really could be me."
December 1, 2025 at 1:19 PM
drrhetoric.bsky.social
In need of a patch. #webcomics
Beans the Unicorn says Krampus! You're back. I'm surprised you're our first special guest of this holiday season. Krampus replies I'm just killing time here at Pomos while I'm getting my kidnapping sack resewn. Beans asks I'm probably gonna regret asking this, but how'd your bag get damaged? Krampus says I lent it out to some ICE agents and they pretty much wore it out this year.
November 28, 2025 at 1:39 PM
drrhetoric.bsky.social
Happy Thanksgiving. #webcomics #Thanksgiving
Beans the Unicorn says I'm thankful for friends who are willing to listen to me when I need to share. Zeno the Robot says I'm thankful for being fully updated and intergalactically compliant. Petro the Dinosaur holds his hat in his hands and says I'm thankful for all the good food that's about to fill my belly. Gravystains the Aging Hippie says I'm thankful you guys reminded me what day it is.
November 27, 2025 at 12:55 PM
drrhetoric.bsky.social
Just asking. #webcomics
Petro the Dinosaur is talking to his friend, Zeno the Robot, and says Do you ever walk into a room and immediately forget why you were going in there? Zeno replies that's a classic psychological phenomenon called the "Doorway Effect." Physical thresholds can trigger the brain to "reset" your short-term memory. Petro asks Do you ever wonder why anyone would want to be friends with someone who already knows everything?
November 26, 2025 at 1:42 PM
drrhetoric.bsky.social
Just Folllowing Instructions. #webcomics
Petro the Dinosaur says to Beans the Unicorn, I don't know why you keep going on and on about your shampoo, Beans. i'm a hairless reptile and Zeno is a Robot who doesn't even bathe. Beans says I don't know. I feel a little obligated to talk about it. The shampoo bottle says I should repeat it.
November 25, 2025 at 1:11 PM
drrhetoric.bsky.social
Don't Sweat It. #webcomics
eans the Unicorn is talking to Zeno the Robot and says I hate going to the gym because I feel like everyone is always staring at me. Zeno replies Do you suppose it's because you're a unicorn? Beans says Oh, maybe. I always think it's because they think I'm fat.
November 24, 2025 at 1:44 PM
drrhetoric.bsky.social
Addressing the Elephant in the Room. #webcomics
Beans the Unicorn is talking to Mr. Peanut and asks Are you okay? You look like you've seen a ghost. Mr Peanut replies I think I'm okay. Sometimes when I drink too much, I think I see little pink elephants. And let me tell you, nothing scarier to a peanut than an elephant.
November 21, 2025 at 1:28 PM
drrhetoric.bsky.social
Cold Case. #webcomics
Beans the Unicorn is driving a car and asks Petro the Dinosaur (who is sitting in the passenger seat) Do you ever find things where they don't belong and wonder how they ended up there? Petro replies The other day I found my house keys in the refrigerator and I just stood there staring and wondering. "What could they have been hungry for?"
November 20, 2025 at 1:24 PM
drrhetoric.bsky.social
Mint Condition. #webcomics
Zeno the Robot is talking to his friend, Petro the Dinosaur, and is giving a lecture on the history of breath mints. He says Clarence Crane invented Lifesavers in 1912. But he sold the rights just a year later to a guy named Edward Noble. It was Noble who came up with the shiny foil wrappers for the candy. Petro replies I don't know how much he spent on the rights, but he made a mint, right?
November 19, 2025 at 1:06 PM