Duchess Goldblatt
@duchessgoldblatt.bsky.social
BECOMING DUCHESS GOLDBLATT (HMH, 2020).
Get some rest tonight, everybody. I'll expect to see your offerings tomorrow. The devil hasn't yet made the villain who can spoil Secular Pie Thursday.
November 27, 2025 at 2:12 AM
Get some rest tonight, everybody. I'll expect to see your offerings tomorrow. The devil hasn't yet made the villain who can spoil Secular Pie Thursday.
I renew my request that you all stop showing me the worst people in the world morning, noon, and night.
November 24, 2025 at 4:46 PM
I renew my request that you all stop showing me the worst people in the world morning, noon, and night.
The least you could do is tell me I look nice today.
November 21, 2025 at 1:10 PM
The least you could do is tell me I look nice today.
Reposted by Duchess Goldblatt
Make sure you scroll down so that you can find @duchessgoldblatt.bsky.social and vote for her at the link listed above.
November 17, 2025 at 5:12 PM
Make sure you scroll down so that you can find @duchessgoldblatt.bsky.social and vote for her at the link listed above.
Apparently I'm in a contest pitted against "Men Don't Read"? Heads, as we say, will roll.
My friend P just told me about this! Omg, how have we not been voting for Duchess…? Let’s get this done, people!
lithub.com/what-was-lit...
lithub.com/what-was-lit...
What Was Literary Twitter? The Bracket
We are gathered here to celebrate the brief, bright, Roman Candle life of Literary Twitter, a mesmerizing and maddening place where the most talented writers used to rub shoulders with the most unb…
lithub.com
November 17, 2025 at 5:13 PM
Apparently I'm in a contest pitted against "Men Don't Read"? Heads, as we say, will roll.
Reposted by Duchess Goldblatt
Props to my phone for reminding me that the kid went through this particular fashion moment in 2021.
Note @duchessgoldblatt.bsky.social looking on approvingly from the lower left corner…
Note @duchessgoldblatt.bsky.social looking on approvingly from the lower left corner…
November 16, 2025 at 1:54 AM
Props to my phone for reminding me that the kid went through this particular fashion moment in 2021.
Note @duchessgoldblatt.bsky.social looking on approvingly from the lower left corner…
Note @duchessgoldblatt.bsky.social looking on approvingly from the lower left corner…
I'm going to have a nice peaceful day with no bad news if it kills us all.
November 14, 2025 at 11:25 AM
I'm going to have a nice peaceful day with no bad news if it kills us all.
I think I'll come back in my next life as the quick breath before every surprise belly laugh. Look for me.
November 13, 2025 at 6:06 AM
I think I'll come back in my next life as the quick breath before every surprise belly laugh. Look for me.
Some of you seem to have failed to cultivate a thirst for vengeance. It's not how I raised you.
November 10, 2025 at 3:16 AM
Some of you seem to have failed to cultivate a thirst for vengeance. It's not how I raised you.
Remember I get 10% of all friendships developed through a shared love for me. No checks.
November 8, 2025 at 5:24 PM
Remember I get 10% of all friendships developed through a shared love for me. No checks.
Save a little Thursday in a glass dish. A day will come when you'll be glad to have it warmed up on toast points.
November 6, 2025 at 11:11 PM
Save a little Thursday in a glass dish. A day will come when you'll be glad to have it warmed up on toast points.
On any clear October evening, you can get a pretty good buzz just from licking the edges of the night sky.
October 30, 2025 at 4:12 AM
On any clear October evening, you can get a pretty good buzz just from licking the edges of the night sky.
In the 19th century, prologues served a useful purpose in literature because the past tense hadn't yet been invented.
October 28, 2025 at 2:32 AM
In the 19th century, prologues served a useful purpose in literature because the past tense hadn't yet been invented.
So many distractions for you children these days! I almost think they might be pulling focus from my ongoing campaign against prologues.
October 28, 2025 at 12:09 AM
So many distractions for you children these days! I almost think they might be pulling focus from my ongoing campaign against prologues.
God has promised me my enemies will receive the word in the form of a rage stroke in a Florida golf course toilet. I remain steadfast in hope.
October 25, 2025 at 4:08 PM
God has promised me my enemies will receive the word in the form of a rage stroke in a Florida golf course toilet. I remain steadfast in hope.
Reposted by Duchess Goldblatt
I am chuffed to the point of unpleasantness to have a story in this year's Best American Short Stories, chosen by the wonderful @pronounced-ing.bsky.social!
October 21, 2025 at 10:06 PM
I am chuffed to the point of unpleasantness to have a story in this year's Best American Short Stories, chosen by the wonderful @pronounced-ing.bsky.social!
Jewel thieves are out there hustling, cracking open the Louvre in broad daylight, and yet not one of you can be arsed to steal my portrait. Why do I even bother running a cult?
October 21, 2025 at 1:56 AM
Jewel thieves are out there hustling, cracking open the Louvre in broad daylight, and yet not one of you can be arsed to steal my portrait. Why do I even bother running a cult?
Blessings upon those who told me how to kill off "Discover" and to append "-ai" to all searches. Yours is the kingdom of heaven.
October 20, 2025 at 3:51 PM
Blessings upon those who told me how to kill off "Discover" and to append "-ai" to all searches. Yours is the kingdom of heaven.
I'm very proud of you all today. Well done. No notes.
October 19, 2025 at 1:03 AM
I'm very proud of you all today. Well done. No notes.
Out now: 37 new episodes of my podcast, all featuring me and the monks of Crooked Path as we sit in contemplative silence for hours. Bliss.
October 16, 2025 at 2:17 AM
Out now: 37 new episodes of my podcast, all featuring me and the monks of Crooked Path as we sit in contemplative silence for hours. Bliss.
We're coming up on a waning crescent moon, which means right now it isn't all puffed up with sodium, retaining seawater. It's healthier for it.
October 14, 2025 at 1:44 AM
We're coming up on a waning crescent moon, which means right now it isn't all puffed up with sodium, retaining seawater. It's healthier for it.
@rebeccamakkai.bsky.social Rebecca, my friend! Hello there, wondrous one.
October 11, 2025 at 2:51 PM
@rebeccamakkai.bsky.social Rebecca, my friend! Hello there, wondrous one.
Creative expression is the essence of the human experience. Try making a new dish, or stabbing an ai slopper with a wooden stake.
October 11, 2025 at 12:45 PM
Creative expression is the essence of the human experience. Try making a new dish, or stabbing an ai slopper with a wooden stake.
Reposted by Duchess Goldblatt
Wow! What a night. Thank you to @lylelovett.bsky.social for a magical experience. And, thank you to @duchessgoldblatt.bsky.social for the inspiration.
October 9, 2025 at 1:18 PM
Wow! What a night. Thank you to @lylelovett.bsky.social for a magical experience. And, thank you to @duchessgoldblatt.bsky.social for the inspiration.
For me: friends and fun, and a book, and life itself.
Has anything great happened in your life because of social media?
October 8, 2025 at 11:56 PM
For me: friends and fun, and a book, and life itself.