My favorite part of #DieHard is Argyle giving John a tour of the limo like he’s Steve Jobs, unveiling revolutionary technology such as a CB radio, a VHS player, a CD player, and a phone that is permanently attached to the car.
December 23, 2025 at 5:12 PM
My favorite part of #DieHard is Argyle giving John a tour of the limo like he’s Steve Jobs, unveiling revolutionary technology such as a CB radio, a VHS player, a CD player, and a phone that is permanently attached to the car.
USS Coral Sea hats should become the left’s version of red MAGA hats.
#spinaltap #robreiner #fuckdjt #trumpsucks
#spinaltap #robreiner #fuckdjt #trumpsucks
December 17, 2025 at 12:40 PM
USS Coral Sea hats should become the left’s version of red MAGA hats.
#spinaltap #robreiner #fuckdjt #trumpsucks
#spinaltap #robreiner #fuckdjt #trumpsucks
Those Little Debbie Christmas Tree Cakes are quickly becoming THE go-to snack of the holiday season. They are never not moist. It’s a physical impossibility, but damn is Debbie didn’t figure it out.
November 25, 2025 at 3:03 AM
Those Little Debbie Christmas Tree Cakes are quickly becoming THE go-to snack of the holiday season. They are never not moist. It’s a physical impossibility, but damn is Debbie didn’t figure it out.
If you think for one goddamn second I’m going to take your little YouTube survey that’s currently keeping me from watching another John Bonham isolated drumming video, you’re out of your goddamn mind.
November 25, 2025 at 3:00 AM
If you think for one goddamn second I’m going to take your little YouTube survey that’s currently keeping me from watching another John Bonham isolated drumming video, you’re out of your goddamn mind.
September 3, 2025 at 8:46 PM
Who would have thought we’d see the deaths of Malcolm Jamal Warner, Ozzy Osbourne, Hulk Hogan, and Justin Timberlake’s career so closely together?
July 24, 2025 at 5:39 PM
Who would have thought we’d see the deaths of Malcolm Jamal Warner, Ozzy Osbourne, Hulk Hogan, and Justin Timberlake’s career so closely together?
The focus puller on “The Pitt” is the hardest working person in Hollywood.
April 25, 2025 at 1:37 AM
The focus puller on “The Pitt” is the hardest working person in Hollywood.
Just watching clouds of tree sperm float down my road and realize I’m about to embark on my yearly Benadryl haze.
April 23, 2025 at 5:08 PM
Just watching clouds of tree sperm float down my road and realize I’m about to embark on my yearly Benadryl haze.
Things that are labeled “good for comedy” are usually also “horrible for humanity.”
March 19, 2025 at 6:12 PM
Things that are labeled “good for comedy” are usually also “horrible for humanity.”
Pro Tip: if you hang outside a car wash, they’ll just hand you the keys to any car and let you drive away.
March 13, 2025 at 7:22 PM
Pro Tip: if you hang outside a car wash, they’ll just hand you the keys to any car and let you drive away.
Changing the lyrics of Chappell Roan’s “Pink Pony Club” to “I’m gonna eat lasagna down at Big Tony’s Pub” will unleash a vitriol in one’s 8-year-old daughter the likes of which have never been seen.
#chappellroan #pinkponyclub
#chappellroan #pinkponyclub
March 4, 2025 at 1:04 PM
Changing the lyrics of Chappell Roan’s “Pink Pony Club” to “I’m gonna eat lasagna down at Big Tony’s Pub” will unleash a vitriol in one’s 8-year-old daughter the likes of which have never been seen.
#chappellroan #pinkponyclub
#chappellroan #pinkponyclub
I think I figured out how to live forever. Sort of.
www.adamdrake.org/essays/2025/...
#ai #liveforever #avatar #aeterna
www.adamdrake.org/essays/2025/...
#ai #liveforever #avatar #aeterna
Aeterna — Adam Drake
So, you want to live forever, huh?
www.adamdrake.org
February 11, 2025 at 2:07 AM
I think I figured out how to live forever. Sort of.
www.adamdrake.org/essays/2025/...
#ai #liveforever #avatar #aeterna
www.adamdrake.org/essays/2025/...
#ai #liveforever #avatar #aeterna
Some people spend their entire life searching for something. True love. The meaning of life. Happiness.
I just want the mayor’s anchor suit jacket from #Jaws.
I just want the mayor’s anchor suit jacket from #Jaws.
February 1, 2025 at 8:02 AM
Some people spend their entire life searching for something. True love. The meaning of life. Happiness.
I just want the mayor’s anchor suit jacket from #Jaws.
I just want the mayor’s anchor suit jacket from #Jaws.
M.U.S.K.
Must Use Serious Ketamine
Must Use Serious Ketamine
January 6, 2025 at 8:01 PM
M.U.S.K.
Must Use Serious Ketamine
Must Use Serious Ketamine
It’s time for our annual family tradition where my wife and I spend #NewYear’s Day trying to convince each other we’re not as hungover as we actually are.
January 1, 2025 at 5:20 PM
It’s time for our annual family tradition where my wife and I spend #NewYear’s Day trying to convince each other we’re not as hungover as we actually are.
December 22, 2024 at 11:01 PM
Wife: Did you call the plumber?
Me: Sorry, I was too busy.
Wife: Busy doing what?
Me: Wikipedia-ing the Verzasca Dam.
Wife: The what?
Me: [Scoffs] The Verzasca Dam.
Wife: You can’t be serious!
Me: Oh, I’m so sorry I needed to learn the history of Switzerland’s fourth tallest damn, honey!
Me: Sorry, I was too busy.
Wife: Busy doing what?
Me: Wikipedia-ing the Verzasca Dam.
Wife: The what?
Me: [Scoffs] The Verzasca Dam.
Wife: You can’t be serious!
Me: Oh, I’m so sorry I needed to learn the history of Switzerland’s fourth tallest damn, honey!
December 11, 2024 at 6:40 PM
Wife: Did you call the plumber?
Me: Sorry, I was too busy.
Wife: Busy doing what?
Me: Wikipedia-ing the Verzasca Dam.
Wife: The what?
Me: [Scoffs] The Verzasca Dam.
Wife: You can’t be serious!
Me: Oh, I’m so sorry I needed to learn the history of Switzerland’s fourth tallest damn, honey!
Me: Sorry, I was too busy.
Wife: Busy doing what?
Me: Wikipedia-ing the Verzasca Dam.
Wife: The what?
Me: [Scoffs] The Verzasca Dam.
Wife: You can’t be serious!
Me: Oh, I’m so sorry I needed to learn the history of Switzerland’s fourth tallest damn, honey!
Perhaps the best joke I’ve ever written:
What do morning sickness and horny surfers have in common?
They both come in waves.
#jokes #comedy #laugh #stupidfunny #humor
What do morning sickness and horny surfers have in common?
They both come in waves.
#jokes #comedy #laugh #stupidfunny #humor
November 21, 2024 at 3:18 PM
Perhaps the best joke I’ve ever written:
What do morning sickness and horny surfers have in common?
They both come in waves.
#jokes #comedy #laugh #stupidfunny #humor
What do morning sickness and horny surfers have in common?
They both come in waves.
#jokes #comedy #laugh #stupidfunny #humor
Anyone know a shady anesthesiologist who can put me into a coma for the next 4 years?
November 21, 2024 at 1:35 PM
Anyone know a shady anesthesiologist who can put me into a coma for the next 4 years?
THIS JUST IN: Trump appoints the Swedish Chef to lead the Department of the Interior.
#trump #appointees
#trump #appointees
November 20, 2024 at 2:22 PM
THIS JUST IN: Trump appoints the Swedish Chef to lead the Department of the Interior.
#trump #appointees
#trump #appointees
Just saw a guy with a laser pointer attached to his glasses. Pretty sure a heist is about to go down.
November 20, 2024 at 2:15 PM
Just saw a guy with a laser pointer attached to his glasses. Pretty sure a heist is about to go down.
More like ASSpartame, am I right?
November 20, 2024 at 2:13 PM
More like ASSpartame, am I right?