Author | Lightnews

Edison Maxwell ☑️ @edisonmaxwell.bsky.social · 2h

It's actually quite tough being a criminal mastermind.
I did get an award at the Criminal Underworld convention.
Which made me feel good.
"Best villain!"
Albeit, it was in the non serial killer category.
But still, a huge kudo from the criminally evil community.
I am grateful for the love.

Edison Maxwell ☑️ @edisonmaxwell.bsky.social · 2h

Identity theft is big business.
Me and my team of expert criminals are on it.
If you are reading this, we probably already have your name, your social security number, your mother's name, and the name of first pet.
That's how good we are.
Just because you read this post.
Proof: Your name is Bob.

Edison Maxwell ☑️ @edisonmaxwell.bsky.social · 7h

Early on I was part of a gang that stole getaway cars.
A lot of bank robbers were quite angry at us.

Edison Maxwell ☑️ @edisonmaxwell.bsky.social · 7h

We're planning to steal a huge amount of gold.
The plan involves some tunneling.
www.popularmechanics.com/science/envi...

Scientists Say The Earth’s Core Is Literally Leaking Gold

Almost all of Earth’s gold is hundreds of feet below the surface. But some of it is oozing from the core into the mantle.

www.popularmechanics.com

Edison Maxwell ☑️ @edisonmaxwell.bsky.social · 7h

They said the protest was about angry boomers.
So I'm going to manufacture a new product to capitalize on it.
It's called the "Boomer-Ang".
Not sure what we're selling, but I definitely lobbed that one hard (see: multiple posts here about boomerangs)

Edison Maxwell ☑️ @edisonmaxwell.bsky.social · 8h

You know what? I won't do it. I won't monger that fear.
The people around you, the people you see... they're people like you.
Life is a scary but it's less scary if we help each other out. Our differences don't matter as much as what we have in common.
That's basic teaching from every religion.

Edison Maxwell ☑️ @edisonmaxwell.bsky.social · 8h

I recently joined a new church. The Mike Johnsonians. We have a new interpretation of scripture where manifest evil is a good thing if it keeps us in power.

Edison Maxwell ☑️ @edisonmaxwell.bsky.social · 9h

Now that I'm a Christian Nationalist I don't worry about loving my neighbor, feeding the hungry, respecting the Constitution, or being a decent human being.
Trump taught me that I can grab them by the pussy and take what I can get.
Who needs Christ or America? Trump is better!
All hail Trump!

Edison Maxwell ☑️ @edisonmaxwell.bsky.social · 9h

Trump inspired me.
Before Trump I only hated Bob, this guy I knew in high school who ended up with a better job and a prettier wife.
But when Trump came along I knew I could hate all kinds of people. It was liberating.
I may not have much, but I do have my hate.
Me and Trump. Haters forever!

Edison Maxwell ☑️ @edisonmaxwell.bsky.social · 9h

MAGA has fallen behind in its hatred lately.
So many good targets. Whatever happened to Tulsi Gabbard, our Director of National Intelligence? She's a Hindu cult member, you know (www.youtube.com/watch?v=IVFA...).
And how about Scott Bessent? He has a gay husband.
MAGA is falling behind on the hate.

MS.TULSI GABBARD'S SRI KRISHNA JANMASHTAMI MESSAGE 2015.

YouTube video by Mahakrsh Krshrath

www.youtube.com

Edison Maxwell ☑️ @edisonmaxwell.bsky.social · 9h

At one point Trump wanted to make sure all the gold was in Fort Knox (tavexbullion.co.uk/why-did-trum...)
Since then he has gone silent, because he's storing most of the gold in the Oval Office as bad decoration.
This is a challenging one for our team.
We've broken into the White House before.

Why Did Trump and Musk Suddenly Go Silent on Fort Knox Gold? - Tavex Bullion

Why did Trump and Musk quietly drop plans to audit Fort Knox gold? Former banker James Rickards explores the hidden reasons behind their sudden silence.

tavexbullion.co.uk

Edison Maxwell ☑️ @edisonmaxwell.bsky.social · 9h

I belong to a team of international heist experts.
We are quite good at what we do.
In 1983 we conspired with David Copperfield to steal the Statue of Liberty (www.youtube.com/watch?v=823G...).
Then we installed a cheap copy.
To this day, Liberty is in the basement of a Russian oligarch.

David Copperfield - Vanishing the Statue of Liberty

YouTube video by SuperAmazingMagic

www.youtube.com

Edison Maxwell ☑️ @edisonmaxwell.bsky.social · 9h

I'll claim credit for the $100 million jewel heist at the Louvre.
It worked pretty well, but our original goal was to steal the entire Louvre.
Not just the jewels and paintings.
We wanted to steal the physical museum and sell it back to them.
You laugh. But the Eiffel tower is next.

Edison Maxwell ☑️ @edisonmaxwell.bsky.social · 10h

Sorry buddy. This is going to be your future. You will be remembered for shit. Like a dog.

Edison Maxwell ☑️ @edisonmaxwell.bsky.social · 10h

The sad thing is that Trump is approaching death and has cemented his legacy and our memory to an AI generated video of him having diarrhea on his fellow human beings.
That's all we will remember him for.
The poop presidency.
That's what it will say under his name in the "Walk of Fame".
Sad.

Edison Maxwell ☑️ @edisonmaxwell.bsky.social · 12h

Jesus will reward me in the afterlife because I saw evil and stood up to it.

Edison Maxwell ☑️ @edisonmaxwell.bsky.social · 13h

At some point the MAGA base will get bored with owning the libs and start shitting on farmers and ranchers.
Because making other people unhappy is what really gets them off.
Already happening: farmaction.us/trumps-propo...

Trump’s Proposal to Buy Argentina’s Beef Betrays U.S. Ranchers | Farm Action

"Washington should be focused on fixing our broken cattle market, not rewarding foreign competitors," said Farm Action's Christian Lovell, an Illinois cattle producer.

farmaction.us

1

Edison Maxwell ☑️ @edisonmaxwell.bsky.social · 14h

So Trump is demolishing the White House, pooping on American citizens, and demanding that we taxpayers all give him $230 million.
We already need another No Kings rally. Like, this weekend?

Edison Maxwell ☑️ @edisonmaxwell.bsky.social · 2d

Don't be afraid to reject a tiny mind! youtu.be/QxTMbIxEj-E?...

The Twilight Zone (Classic): It's A Good Life - A Very Bad Man

YouTube video by The Twilight Zone

youtu.be

Edison Maxwell ☑️ @edisonmaxwell.bsky.social · 2d

Trump is literally destroying the People's House to make way for a ballroom where rich people can dance.

Edison Maxwell ☑️ @edisonmaxwell.bsky.social · 2d

So... let me get this straight. The appropriate response to millions of people actively disagreeing with authoritarianism is to poop on them (truthsocial.com/@realDonaldT...) and destroy the White House (newrepublic.com/post/202025/...).
What a stable genius!

Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump)

truthsocial.com

Edison Maxwell ☑️ @edisonmaxwell.bsky.social · 2d

Right wing pundits are in deep denial.
"No Kings was just angry old white people." (www.youtube.com/watch?v=m7np...)
That spells real trouble for the right wing though.
Angry old white people used to be the base of Fox News.

Old, White Boomers Like George Conway Dance and Sing at "No Kings" Protests, with Emily Jashinsky

YouTube video by Megyn Kelly

www.youtube.com

Edison Maxwell ☑️ @edisonmaxwell.bsky.social · 5d

Next month we should have a No Morons protest.
We can protest wannabe kings. But if those wannabe kings are stupid, really ignorant, idiots, we can protest that as well.
The Trump administration is evil, but also incredibly incompetent.
The dumbest administration ever.
I object to that!

Edison Maxwell ☑️ @edisonmaxwell.bsky.social · 5d

A cool thing about the No Kings protest is that it's very American.
The unique idea here is that we don't have an aristocracy, or any history of certain folks having inherent benefits over other folks.
That includes white people necessarily having benefits over others.
Hard pill to swallow for some

Edison Maxwell ☑️ @edisonmaxwell.bsky.social · 5d

I mean, I get that you are a narcissist and everybody needs to think you are great, despite obvious evidence to the contrary.
But could you please work out your weird mental illness without forcing the rest of us, who are doing serious things, to humor you?