Edison Maxwell ☑️
@edisonmaxwell.bsky.social
A little song, a little dance, a little seltzer down your pants
Apparently ICE will now attempt to rid Venezuelans from Venezuela.
January 3, 2026 at 7:01 PM
Apparently ICE will now attempt to rid Venezuelans from Venezuela.
The Nobel Peace Prize committee can do the math. Suppose you almost end eight pretend wars but start six real wars.
No prize for you!
No prize for you!
January 3, 2026 at 6:20 PM
The Nobel Peace Prize committee can do the math. Suppose you almost end eight pretend wars but start six real wars.
No prize for you!
No prize for you!
The age of imperialism is over.
Time to get your own house in order. Adopt more modest goals.
Rule, Britannia! Britannia rule the waves
Britons never never never shall be slaves.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sgd9...
Time to get your own house in order. Adopt more modest goals.
Rule, Britannia! Britannia rule the waves
Britons never never never shall be slaves.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sgd9...
Rule Britannia - Last Night of the Proms 2009
YouTube video by ReallyQueen?
www.youtube.com
January 3, 2026 at 11:53 AM
The age of imperialism is over.
Time to get your own house in order. Adopt more modest goals.
Rule, Britannia! Britannia rule the waves
Britons never never never shall be slaves.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sgd9...
Time to get your own house in order. Adopt more modest goals.
Rule, Britannia! Britannia rule the waves
Britons never never never shall be slaves.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sgd9...
This the year I am going to climb Mount Everett.
That's not a typo. I'm going to climb Mount Everett (en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mount_E...)
It's 2,000 feet tall!
That's not a typo. I'm going to climb Mount Everett (en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mount_E...)
It's 2,000 feet tall!
Mount Everett - Wikipedia
en.wikipedia.org
January 3, 2026 at 11:04 AM
This the year I am going to climb Mount Everett.
That's not a typo. I'm going to climb Mount Everett (en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mount_E...)
It's 2,000 feet tall!
That's not a typo. I'm going to climb Mount Everett (en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mount_E...)
It's 2,000 feet tall!
Named my twins Pomp and Circumstance and it's really going to pay off when they graduate high school.
January 3, 2026 at 11:00 AM
Named my twins Pomp and Circumstance and it's really going to pay off when they graduate high school.
I watched the Christmas classic "It's a Wonderful Life".
At least, I watched the first half.
I have to say that it portrays a pretty shitty life.
At least, I watched the first half.
I have to say that it portrays a pretty shitty life.
January 2, 2026 at 12:05 PM
I watched the Christmas classic "It's a Wonderful Life".
At least, I watched the first half.
I have to say that it portrays a pretty shitty life.
At least, I watched the first half.
I have to say that it portrays a pretty shitty life.
I've flown DB Cooper Airlines from Portland to Seattle. Pretty nice flight except we all had to jump out the back of plane part of the way through.
December 31, 2025 at 7:01 PM
I've flown DB Cooper Airlines from Portland to Seattle. Pretty nice flight except we all had to jump out the back of plane part of the way through.
For a moment in early 2025 I thought that my country, America, could slide into authoritarianism. I worried about that. Now I can see that this won't happen. The people I thought might do it are fucking clowns. Their goals are not popular. I renew my belief that the Common Good will prevail in 2026.
December 31, 2025 at 5:57 PM
For a moment in early 2025 I thought that my country, America, could slide into authoritarianism. I worried about that. Now I can see that this won't happen. The people I thought might do it are fucking clowns. Their goals are not popular. I renew my belief that the Common Good will prevail in 2026.
Working on a cookbook where all the recipes are in the form of a limerick.
Stuck on how to explain my recipe for duck à l'orange.
Stuck on how to explain my recipe for duck à l'orange.
December 29, 2025 at 12:51 PM
Working on a cookbook where all the recipes are in the form of a limerick.
Stuck on how to explain my recipe for duck à l'orange.
Stuck on how to explain my recipe for duck à l'orange.
I feel sorry for almost everyone I've seen in the Trump administration.
They have no depth of character.
"I want to be on television!" They say. Not much depth beyond that. No moral, intellectual, or spiritual depth.
Pale shadows of human beings.
Sad.
They have no depth of character.
"I want to be on television!" They say. Not much depth beyond that. No moral, intellectual, or spiritual depth.
Pale shadows of human beings.
Sad.
December 26, 2025 at 3:25 PM
I feel sorry for almost everyone I've seen in the Trump administration.
They have no depth of character.
"I want to be on television!" They say. Not much depth beyond that. No moral, intellectual, or spiritual depth.
Pale shadows of human beings.
Sad.
They have no depth of character.
"I want to be on television!" They say. Not much depth beyond that. No moral, intellectual, or spiritual depth.
Pale shadows of human beings.
Sad.
Ran into Pete Hegseth in a bar.
"I'M NOT DRUNK" he shouted, "I CAN PROVE IT BY DOING MORE PULL-UPS THAN ANYONE ELSE IN THIS BAR!"
I took him up on the challenge.
He was good at pull-ups and we tied.
As a tie-breaker, I suggested that we summarize the last book that we read. He gave up immediately.
"I'M NOT DRUNK" he shouted, "I CAN PROVE IT BY DOING MORE PULL-UPS THAN ANYONE ELSE IN THIS BAR!"
I took him up on the challenge.
He was good at pull-ups and we tied.
As a tie-breaker, I suggested that we summarize the last book that we read. He gave up immediately.
December 26, 2025 at 3:15 PM
Ran into Pete Hegseth in a bar.
"I'M NOT DRUNK" he shouted, "I CAN PROVE IT BY DOING MORE PULL-UPS THAN ANYONE ELSE IN THIS BAR!"
I took him up on the challenge.
He was good at pull-ups and we tied.
As a tie-breaker, I suggested that we summarize the last book that we read. He gave up immediately.
"I'M NOT DRUNK" he shouted, "I CAN PROVE IT BY DOING MORE PULL-UPS THAN ANYONE ELSE IN THIS BAR!"
I took him up on the challenge.
He was good at pull-ups and we tied.
As a tie-breaker, I suggested that we summarize the last book that we read. He gave up immediately.
Coming at you. The Spirit of `26. Diversity makes the world go round. We fought for these rights and we want them back!
December 26, 2025 at 12:32 PM
Coming at you. The Spirit of `26. Diversity makes the world go round. We fought for these rights and we want them back!
For Christmas someone gave me Russian dolls.
You open a doll and there's another doll inside, and another doll inside of that.
But it came from Amazon.
So it was in a box. Inside another box.
You open a doll and there's another doll inside, and another doll inside of that.
But it came from Amazon.
So it was in a box. Inside another box.
December 26, 2025 at 9:05 AM
For Christmas someone gave me Russian dolls.
You open a doll and there's another doll inside, and another doll inside of that.
But it came from Amazon.
So it was in a box. Inside another box.
You open a doll and there's another doll inside, and another doll inside of that.
But it came from Amazon.
So it was in a box. Inside another box.
Due to a database error at the North Pole, the Naughty list and the Nice list may, in some cases, have been swapped.
If you are nice person and you got coal for Christmas, Santa Inc. does apologize.
If you are a nasty person and you got a shiny new toy, please return it ASAP.
If you are nice person and you got coal for Christmas, Santa Inc. does apologize.
If you are a nasty person and you got a shiny new toy, please return it ASAP.
December 24, 2025 at 3:15 PM
Due to a database error at the North Pole, the Naughty list and the Nice list may, in some cases, have been swapped.
If you are nice person and you got coal for Christmas, Santa Inc. does apologize.
If you are a nasty person and you got a shiny new toy, please return it ASAP.
If you are nice person and you got coal for Christmas, Santa Inc. does apologize.
If you are a nasty person and you got a shiny new toy, please return it ASAP.
I've taken to minimalist Xmas tree decorating.
One ornament. One light. One piece of tinsel.
And in fact, the Xmas tree isn't a real tree, but merely a hand shadow cast upon the wall.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ojha...
One ornament. One light. One piece of tinsel.
And in fact, the Xmas tree isn't a real tree, but merely a hand shadow cast upon the wall.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ojha...
How to make a Christmas Tree
YouTube video by Drew Colby - Hand Shadow Artist
www.youtube.com
December 24, 2025 at 3:11 PM
I've taken to minimalist Xmas tree decorating.
One ornament. One light. One piece of tinsel.
And in fact, the Xmas tree isn't a real tree, but merely a hand shadow cast upon the wall.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ojha...
One ornament. One light. One piece of tinsel.
And in fact, the Xmas tree isn't a real tree, but merely a hand shadow cast upon the wall.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ojha...
I really like Christmas. The true meaning of it, you know. www.youtube.com/watch?v=fCNv...
White Wine In The Sun by Tim Minchin
YouTube video by Tim Minchin
www.youtube.com
December 21, 2025 at 1:09 PM
I really like Christmas. The true meaning of it, you know. www.youtube.com/watch?v=fCNv...
I was a member of an elite Navy special operations force known as the Christmas Seals. We were trained to parachute into enemy territory and give toys to the children.
December 21, 2025 at 12:50 PM
I was a member of an elite Navy special operations force known as the Christmas Seals. We were trained to parachute into enemy territory and give toys to the children.
These new AI toothpicks sure are darn neato! I don't know how I ever picked my teeth before. Sometimes though, the AI thinks I have teeth where I don't.
December 17, 2025 at 5:16 PM
These new AI toothpicks sure are darn neato! I don't know how I ever picked my teeth before. Sometimes though, the AI thinks I have teeth where I don't.
I went to a website and they wanted me to prove that I was a human.
So they asked me questions about life.
"If someone is dying, what would you do?"
"If you found a lost puppy, what would you do?"
Anyway, the questions went on.
Ultimately they were satisfied if I could recognize fire hydrants.
So they asked me questions about life.
"If someone is dying, what would you do?"
"If you found a lost puppy, what would you do?"
Anyway, the questions went on.
Ultimately they were satisfied if I could recognize fire hydrants.
December 17, 2025 at 2:55 PM
I went to a website and they wanted me to prove that I was a human.
So they asked me questions about life.
"If someone is dying, what would you do?"
"If you found a lost puppy, what would you do?"
Anyway, the questions went on.
Ultimately they were satisfied if I could recognize fire hydrants.
So they asked me questions about life.
"If someone is dying, what would you do?"
"If you found a lost puppy, what would you do?"
Anyway, the questions went on.
Ultimately they were satisfied if I could recognize fire hydrants.
You know, I save a lot of money on tobacco fragrance by smoking a lot of cigarettes. www.walmart.com/ip/Tom-Ford-...
Robot or human?
www.walmart.com
December 17, 2025 at 2:47 PM
You know, I save a lot of money on tobacco fragrance by smoking a lot of cigarettes. www.walmart.com/ip/Tom-Ford-...
I'm not going to call it Xmas.
It's still TwitterMas to me.
It's still TwitterMas to me.
December 17, 2025 at 2:19 PM
I'm not going to call it Xmas.
It's still TwitterMas to me.
It's still TwitterMas to me.
Here at the North Pole me and the elves do Secret Santa.
We all drew somebody and now we have to give them a gift.
But Santa keeps taking all the credit.
Fuck you, Santa. I picked out a special gift for Galadriel in Accounting.
We all drew somebody and now we have to give them a gift.
But Santa keeps taking all the credit.
Fuck you, Santa. I picked out a special gift for Galadriel in Accounting.
December 17, 2025 at 2:15 PM
Here at the North Pole me and the elves do Secret Santa.
We all drew somebody and now we have to give them a gift.
But Santa keeps taking all the credit.
Fuck you, Santa. I picked out a special gift for Galadriel in Accounting.
We all drew somebody and now we have to give them a gift.
But Santa keeps taking all the credit.
Fuck you, Santa. I picked out a special gift for Galadriel in Accounting.
The Trump administration wants visitors to provide a five-year social media history (www.bbc.com/news/article...)
So I'm thinking of leaving the US and then coming back in with a fake passport, just so someone will read my brilliant posts.
So I'm thinking of leaving the US and then coming back in with a fake passport, just so someone will read my brilliant posts.
US could ask tourists for five-year social media history before entry
The plan would affect people from countries, including the UK, who can fill out a form in lieu of a visa.
www.bbc.com
December 17, 2025 at 11:07 AM
The Trump administration wants visitors to provide a five-year social media history (www.bbc.com/news/article...)
So I'm thinking of leaving the US and then coming back in with a fake passport, just so someone will read my brilliant posts.
So I'm thinking of leaving the US and then coming back in with a fake passport, just so someone will read my brilliant posts.
Why do we put presents underneath the Christmas tree?
Because if you put them on top the tree they fall off.
Because if you put them on top the tree they fall off.
December 17, 2025 at 10:31 AM
Why do we put presents underneath the Christmas tree?
Because if you put them on top the tree they fall off.
Because if you put them on top the tree they fall off.
Right wing nutjobs were quick to politicize the shooting at Brown University, where the killer hasn't been captured yet (www.yahoo.com/news/article...).
But this was clearly an attack on brown people.
But this was clearly an attack on brown people.
MAGA Spreads Dangerous Conspiracy About Brown University Shooter
Donald Trump’s supporters are conveniently forgetting the identity of one of the victims.
www.yahoo.com
December 17, 2025 at 10:24 AM
Right wing nutjobs were quick to politicize the shooting at Brown University, where the killer hasn't been captured yet (www.yahoo.com/news/article...).
But this was clearly an attack on brown people.
But this was clearly an attack on brown people.