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ELFBOY @elfboymusic.bsky.social · 4d

DILF ELFBOY (Transformation 27)…

if i flip this burger twelve times rebecca will love me again

told my son i’m proud of him. he said ‘thanks’ then i woke up

i put the ‘father’ in ‘why did you leave’

love language = silent car rides

you smell that? it’s divorce

#elfboy #dilfelfboy

ELFBOY @elfboymusic.bsky.social · 4d

SILVER ELFBOY (Transformation 2)…

you call it schizophrenia. i call it schizophrenia. this is schizophrenia.

legolas’s unemployed cousin who DJs in mordor

(real talk: the early transformations were phoned-in. i didn’t take this seriously until patriot)

#elfboy #silverelfboy

ELFBOY @elfboymusic.bsky.social · 11d

CUBICLE ELFBOY (Transformation 26)…

dress for the coffin you’ve been manifesting since birth

powered by folgers and crushed dreams

REPLY ALL ONE MORE TIME TRACY SEE WHAT HAPPENS

just one powerpoint away from powerpointing this gun

office supply request: 1 rope + 1 beam

#elfboy #cubicleelfboy

ELFBOY @elfboymusic.bsky.social · 11d

CHEF ELFBOY (Transformation 5)…

food so good it makes u forget ur dead inside

this dessert is smoked, just like my childhood

if you can taste the depression add more salt

my signature dish is undercooked boundaries

cooking for two, eating for one, crying for three

#elfboy #chefelfboy

ELFBOY @elfboymusic.bsky.social · 18d

CEO ELFBOY (Transformation 25)…

merrill lynch me harder, bitch

literal trickle-down economics

success is measured in orgasms per quarter

wake up at 5am. meditate. snort coke

i expect to see 20% growth assuming i don’t OD in ten minutes

#elfboy #ceoelfboy

ELFBOY @elfboymusic.bsky.social · 18d

NUN ELFBOY (Transformation 13)…

turning “hail mary” into “rail mary.”

lighting candles just to melt them on my tits

they tried to burn him at the stake but he brought marshmallows

say three hail marys and spank yourself

forgive me father, for I have absolutely SLUTTED

#elfboy #nunelfboy

ELFBOY @elfboymusic.bsky.social · 25d

BRIDE ELFBOY (Transformation 24)…

the guest list is shorter now

til death did us part

every bride wants a killer dress

my vows were short: DIE BITCH

the wedding playlist skipped to screams lol so weird

didn’t feel like curing my crippling abandonment issues

#elfboy #brideelfboy

ELFBOY @elfboymusic.bsky.social · 25d

LIBTARD ELFBOY (Transformation 17)…

coming soon to ruin thanksgiving

if empathy was a felony i’d be serving life

fell down a marxist rabbit hole and emerged bisexual and 100% correct

if tiktok and portland had a lovechild and it survived the abortion

#elfboy #libtardelfboy

1

ELFBOY @elfboymusic.bsky.social · Sep 18

CONSERVATARD ELFBOY (Transformation 16)…

he doesn’t believe in climate change, but he does believe the moon landing was gay

punches trees if they look ‘too european’

only shoots blanks unless he’s inside his cousin

healthcare is for cowards

#elfboy #conservatardelfboy

ELFBOY @elfboymusic.bsky.social · Sep 12

AMISH ELFBOY (Transformation 23)…

horsepower: 1

barn’s full of hay, but he still feels empty

he makes butter scream

cornfield rave, BYO pitchfork

banned from the barn dance for feeding goats LSD

he’s the reason the hay bales scream at night

#elfboy #amishelfboy

ELFBOY @elfboymusic.bsky.social · Sep 11

BABYSITTER ELFBOY (Transformation 12)…

ELFBOY’s babysitting service: now with 0% background checks

babysitter rating: 5 stars, 9 arrests, 6 identity changes

nap time’s easy when you chloroform yourself

i cook one meal, and i cook it well. meth

#elfboy #babysitterelfboy

ELFBOY @elfboymusic.bsky.social · Sep 5

HOMELESS ELFBOY (Transformation 22)… literally me in five years

oh wow, you pay rent?

oh wow, four walls?

mine burned down before it existed

beds are cringe

mortgage due? i must’ve missed my invitation to slavery

who needs housing when despair is free?

#elfboy #homelesselfboy

ELFBOY @elfboymusic.bsky.social · Sep 4

OFFICER ELFBOY (Transformation 14)… Legolas and Dobby are my backup

my precinct is middle-earth

i uphold the law the same way I uphold an erection. with tremendous difficulty

internal affairs tried to investigate me so i ate them

our precinct motto: oops

#elfboy #officerelfboy

ELFBOY @elfboymusic.bsky.social · Aug 29

PATRIOT ELFBOY (Transformation 10)… i declare independence from pants

fifty states of grey

ELFBOY's guide to patriotism. step 1: confuse. step 2: confuse

the only bipartisan agreement here is that they’re both into it

boundaries? never heard of her

#elfboy #patriotelfboy

ELFBOY @elfboymusic.bsky.social · Aug 22

ELFBOY - C**T (Official Audio) [Single 8]

a love letter written in gasoline

lube for the apocalypse

it came out sideways, screaming

#elfboy

ELFBOY @elfboymusic.bsky.social · Aug 21

GILF ELFBOY (Transformation 15) - she faked her own death just to haunt your wet dreams

hot flash? more like hot trash

she’s got arthritis in her back and rage in her pussy

she’s the reason viagra is on backorder

has 99 problems and every single one is a dead husband

#elfboy #gilfelfboy

ELFBOY @elfboymusic.bsky.social · Aug 14

CAT ELFBOY (TRANSFORMATION 18) - this is who I became after the break-up

cat-elf cosplay or mental illness? yes.

he once stared into the abyss and the abyss bought him tuna

he licks his own asshole and judges you for your life choices

he purrs, he plots, he pisses in a box

#elfboy #catelfboy

ELFBOY @elfboymusic.bsky.social · Aug 7

NATIVE ELFBOY (TRANSFORMATION 20) - dance like your government never acknowledged your existence

spiritual vengeance arc: activated

welcome to the land of the free and the home of the dead

i’ll tomahawk your ballsack

NATIVE ELFBOY for Mortal Kombat II DLC

#elfboy #nativeelfboy

ELFBOY @elfboymusic.bsky.social · Jul 31

BABY ELFBOY (TRANFORMATION 19) - because sometimes god gives up

new genre: deathcare (deathcore x daycare)

your sleep paralysis infant

MILK. DIAPERS. DESTINY.

my first word was c**t. (hint next song title)

the final boss of motherhood

BABY ELFBOY for Mortal Kombat II

#elfboy #babyelfboy

ELFBOY @elfboymusic.bsky.social · Jul 24

SANTA’S ELFBOY (TRANSFORMATION 21) - he sees you when you’re sleeping. He screams when you’re awake.

Rockin around the trauma tree, have a psychotic holiday.

jingle hells jingle hells.

not on the naughty list. not on the nice list. just on a list.

welcome to the north hole.

#elfboy

ELFBOY @elfboymusic.bsky.social · Jul 23

ELFBOY - F**K (Official Music Video)

A controlled demolition of your comfort zones.

the bulls**t never ends, but this video does.

diapers, cat suits, walkers, and America on fire

Hard Mode for your retinas

It’s a love song if you mute it.

#elfboy

ELFBOY @elfboymusic.bsky.social · Jul 18

CONSERVATARD vs LIBTARD: no matter who wins, your family group chat loses.

finally… representation for people who lost friends over facebook comments in 2020

why choose between red pill and blue pill when you can snort both?

tag someone who thinks this is deep. then block them.

#elfboy

ELFBOY @elfboymusic.bsky.social · Jul 10

FIRST LOOK: LIBTARD ELFBOY. i’m so hungover from empathy.

woke? bitch i never slept.

the revolution will be live-streamed and i will be hot in it

my bong is filled with tears of jordan peterson fans

i don’t do drugs. i am the drug. and also I do drugs.

ELFBOY @elfboymusic.bsky.social · Jul 3

FIRST LOOK: CONSERVATARD ELFBOY… Some say he’s a patriot. Others say he’s just really into his cousin. Both are correct.

Ask him what gender is and he’ll shoot a bud light can

Mixes monster energy with communion wine

ummmmm #elfboy #conservatardelfboy #fourthofjuly #independenceday #usa

ELFBOY @elfboymusic.bsky.social · Jun 26

ELFBOY’S HUMP MODE: if this video makes you uncomfortable, congratulations, you’re still alive

this move is called THE RIZZURRECTION

if ur algorithm served u this it’s because you’re spiritually ready

ps if ur grandma sees this she’ll start smoking again

hashtags 4 u #elfboy #cosplay #metalcore