Escai
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escai.bsky.social
Escai
@escai.bsky.social
18 followers 100 following 350 posts
ENG/ESP | Vocaloid | Chronic retweeter of art | Overall flustered
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Well damn, I went and escalated it just like that. We in a relationship now, fellas!
Oh god the horny thoughts are starting to settle I really want to escalate this relationship ASAP.
Btw, Sayonara Rolling Star is absolutely not about a widow. It's just a break-up. But it does talk about letting go of a loved one, and that part hits like a truck.
Maybe it's ok if Santiago dies. He kinda sucks; he's mostly a self-insert Gary Stu that barely helps the plot move at all. Even Mauricio has far better development than him. But that'd mean the Santiago-Hinata couple would die too, and that's my favorite character in this story. They are meaningful.
I entertained the idea of making this entire arc a bad dream, or a mental exercise by Hinata to come up with new music. It'd devalue it a little, but it'd allow me to make it canonical. Pretending it didn't ever exist would render it irrelevant altogether, and that's far worse, in my opinion.
She still loves him. It still pains her. She's still broken beyond mending. But that doesn't mean trying is meaningless, and if she found the strength to even try and move on with her life, then she has already made a ton of progress. Who knows; maybe she can still find happiness once again.
I would've never guessed that, of all things, a Katamari Damacy song would bring me the (at least chronologically) last chapter in Hinata's widow arc. "Sayonara Rolling Star" is exactly what I'd imagine her singing when finally letting go and moving on with her life. Happy, funky, yet melancholic.
That peaked a few months ago, and as such, my last text from that time was probably the darkest one. It gives me chills whenever I reread it. Since then, I've been slowly improving and making headway towards my happiness. New music has come to me as well, so Moon Square stays relevant in my mind.
A few years ago, when I came up with this whole "The death of Santiago" arc, I had sad and intense music aplenty to write intense, visceral stuff coming from Hinata. Accordingly, I was spending more and more time down in the gutter. She became more of a self-insert than my actual self-insert.
Hinata draws heavy inspiration from Wowaka, for example, and Emma's entire past was inspired by the vibe of Kinoko Teikoku's album Eureka. She herself is mostly based on their music. If anything, Santiago and Mauricio are on the blander side (and even they are somewhat based on Daft Punk).
Back when I started writing Moon Square, it was out of love for the music I listen to. New chapters would come to me as new songs would find their way to me. I rarely planned anything other than character backgrounds, and even those are heavily influenced by the songs I associate with each one.
Date went awesome
Me: *tch tch*

The cat I'm trying to Pavlov into associating that sound with food: FOOD?? FOOD. WHERE FOOD. I WANT FOOD. SHALL I DANCE FOR FOOD? I SHALL DANCE FOR FOOD, PLS FOOD NOW

Me: lmao get Pavlov'd you idiot
Ya boy has a 2nd date + flirted a little and got good results.

All of y'all are invited to the wedding.
Let's have sex on the cuck chair and let the bed watch
They're talking about italian brainrot, I'm actually in fight or flight mode right now.
Currently seething and frothing at the mouth because I'm forced to have lunch with my boss and his VERY loud family for my birthday (which was a week ago and I very clearly said I'd NOT be celebrating).
I really love it when FGO fanart has Mashu with big boobs but they're not sexualized. They're there, and they're big. Their roundness goes well with Mashu, since she herself is very round (and therefore cute).

Is it weird that I feel like that? I don't think so. Is it weird to think about it? Probs
Obviously I don't do it immediately, though. I add the bricks at the end of the month after I buy my monthly bricks, like normal people do.
Every time I get a new video on my subscription feed from someone I'm not subscribed to, simply because someone I am subscribed to shows up in it, I unsubscribe from this other person and add another brick to the pile of bricks to throw at Google HQ.
I've been WAY too stressed these days. Idk if it's just the birthday fiasco or if there's something deeper at play here. Whatever it is, I hate it and I can't take it for much longer, but I don't know what to do about it.
ya boy is considering not even gooning anymore because of how well this is going.