Fake Yarra Trams
@fakeyarratrams.bsky.social
The real news from a fake perspective, about tram life in Melbourne. Account also often hijacked by Depot Cat.
I can’t believe the year is nearly over. So many humans to scratch, so little time left. But I’m too exhausted from all the hard work I’ve done scratching people and trying to fit in 23 hours of sleep a day. Why does life have to be so hard for me? ~Depot Cat
November 29, 2025 at 1:00 PM
I can’t believe the year is nearly over. So many humans to scratch, so little time left. But I’m too exhausted from all the hard work I’ve done scratching people and trying to fit in 23 hours of sleep a day. Why does life have to be so hard for me? ~Depot Cat
Looking to book your workplace end of year boozer? There’s never been a better time to book the Restaurant Tram. Because just like your enthusiasm for your workplace, the Restaurant Tram is just a memory of good times past. Perfect for when you want to tell your boss to shove it. #YarraTrams
November 27, 2025 at 9:30 PM
Looking to book your workplace end of year boozer? There’s never been a better time to book the Restaurant Tram. Because just like your enthusiasm for your workplace, the Restaurant Tram is just a memory of good times past. Perfect for when you want to tell your boss to shove it. #YarraTrams
Throwback Thursday: In 2011 Auckland NZ opened Dockline loop. W 421, renumbered 258 operating on the 1.5km line, with a bumper crowd (two people) watching the tram pass by what looks like a playground for sheep, and a giant syringe. Kiwis really are a weird mob. #YarraTrams
November 26, 2025 at 9:30 PM
Throwback Thursday: In 2011 Auckland NZ opened Dockline loop. W 421, renumbered 258 operating on the 1.5km line, with a bumper crowd (two people) watching the tram pass by what looks like a playground for sheep, and a giant syringe. Kiwis really are a weird mob. #YarraTrams
Given the amount of media attention @fakemetrotrains.bsky.social are getting for this passenger display, here at #YarraTrams we have decided to delay the introduction of our new express tram service, running Footscray, University, Carnegie, and Kooyong.
November 25, 2025 at 9:30 PM
Given the amount of media attention @fakemetrotrains.bsky.social are getting for this passenger display, here at #YarraTrams we have decided to delay the introduction of our new express tram service, running Footscray, University, Carnegie, and Kooyong.
Reposted by Fake Yarra Trams
Good morning Melbourne!
Today (Nov 26) is World Sustainable Transport Day.
We'd like to acknowledge the Vic Govt for the ongoing subsidies paid to us to ensure this privatised venture continues to remain sustainable for our shareholders.
#MetroTrains #TransportDay
Today (Nov 26) is World Sustainable Transport Day.
We'd like to acknowledge the Vic Govt for the ongoing subsidies paid to us to ensure this privatised venture continues to remain sustainable for our shareholders.
#MetroTrains #TransportDay
November 25, 2025 at 9:20 PM
Good morning Melbourne!
Today (Nov 26) is World Sustainable Transport Day.
We'd like to acknowledge the Vic Govt for the ongoing subsidies paid to us to ensure this privatised venture continues to remain sustainable for our shareholders.
#MetroTrains #TransportDay
Today (Nov 26) is World Sustainable Transport Day.
We'd like to acknowledge the Vic Govt for the ongoing subsidies paid to us to ensure this privatised venture continues to remain sustainable for our shareholders.
#MetroTrains #TransportDay
Join #YarraTrams today to Friday for AusRAIL PLUS 2025, the largest rail event in the Asia-Pacific Region at Jeff’s Shed.
The easiest way to get there is by tram apparently, but we really have no idea what route or time. If only a tram operator was at the event and could tell us.
The easiest way to get there is by tram apparently, but we really have no idea what route or time. If only a tram operator was at the event and could tell us.
November 24, 2025 at 9:30 PM
Join #YarraTrams today to Friday for AusRAIL PLUS 2025, the largest rail event in the Asia-Pacific Region at Jeff’s Shed.
The easiest way to get there is by tram apparently, but we really have no idea what route or time. If only a tram operator was at the event and could tell us.
The easiest way to get there is by tram apparently, but we really have no idea what route or time. If only a tram operator was at the event and could tell us.
Today is National Fairy Bread Day. Free travel for anyone who is smothered in butter and covered in hundreds and thousands. See attached pic for minimal acceptable standard. #YarraTrams
November 23, 2025 at 9:30 PM
Today is National Fairy Bread Day. Free travel for anyone who is smothered in butter and covered in hundreds and thousands. See attached pic for minimal acceptable standard. #YarraTrams
Why did they leave me out of the Perth Test. I’m the greatest cricketer Australia has ever seen, and with my claws ball tampering is a breeze. Silly humans only selecting their own kind. ~Depot Cat
November 22, 2025 at 1:00 PM
Why did they leave me out of the Perth Test. I’m the greatest cricketer Australia has ever seen, and with my claws ball tampering is a breeze. Silly humans only selecting their own kind. ~Depot Cat
Hey Channel 9, let us fix that reporting for you:
“Dashcam footage shows a drongo with no idea of how to drive, or any thought of obeying road laws, attempt to injure many tram passengers. Don’t be like this idiot.” #YarraTrams #BewareTheRhino
“Dashcam footage shows a drongo with no idea of how to drive, or any thought of obeying road laws, attempt to injure many tram passengers. Don’t be like this idiot.” #YarraTrams #BewareTheRhino
November 22, 2025 at 9:29 AM
Hey Channel 9, let us fix that reporting for you:
“Dashcam footage shows a drongo with no idea of how to drive, or any thought of obeying road laws, attempt to injure many tram passengers. Don’t be like this idiot.” #YarraTrams #BewareTheRhino
“Dashcam footage shows a drongo with no idea of how to drive, or any thought of obeying road laws, attempt to injure many tram passengers. Don’t be like this idiot.” #YarraTrams #BewareTheRhino
Our performance figures for October are in, and #YarraTrams is happy to say there will be no compensation for late running.
Oh sure there is meant to be, but we’re just not going to pay it, and that makes us happy. What are you going to do, run your own trams? Yeah right mate.
Oh sure there is meant to be, but we’re just not going to pay it, and that makes us happy. What are you going to do, run your own trams? Yeah right mate.
November 20, 2025 at 9:30 PM
Our performance figures for October are in, and #YarraTrams is happy to say there will be no compensation for late running.
Oh sure there is meant to be, but we’re just not going to pay it, and that makes us happy. What are you going to do, run your own trams? Yeah right mate.
Oh sure there is meant to be, but we’re just not going to pay it, and that makes us happy. What are you going to do, run your own trams? Yeah right mate.
Throwback Thursday: Nov 2013, E.6001 on the first day in service, running to Brunswick, on Bourke St at King St. we see the tram being sized hp by a predator (taxi) that will soon attack it with it’s signature move, the sudden u-turn. #YarraTrams 📸@wongms.bsky.social
November 19, 2025 at 9:31 PM
Throwback Thursday: Nov 2013, E.6001 on the first day in service, running to Brunswick, on Bourke St at King St. we see the tram being sized hp by a predator (taxi) that will soon attack it with it’s signature move, the sudden u-turn. #YarraTrams 📸@wongms.bsky.social
Today is International Men’s Day. We only just found out about it because the missus never told us it was happening, or organised anything for the day. Typical. #YarraTrams
November 19, 2025 at 8:22 AM
Today is International Men’s Day. We only just found out about it because the missus never told us it was happening, or organised anything for the day. Typical. #YarraTrams
The #YarraTrams Black Friday sale is on now. We’ve taken 20% to 50% off all tram services right across the network. There’s also huge savings on replacement buses, with even less running when needed.
Get in quick before all the trams are full and you can’t get onboard.
Get in quick before all the trams are full and you can’t get onboard.
November 18, 2025 at 9:30 PM
The #YarraTrams Black Friday sale is on now. We’ve taken 20% to 50% off all tram services right across the network. There’s also huge savings on replacement buses, with even less running when needed.
Get in quick before all the trams are full and you can’t get onboard.
Get in quick before all the trams are full and you can’t get onboard.
#YarraTrams would like to congratulate Jess Wilson on being elected as the new leader of the Liberal party. May your reign last longer than a trip end to end on Route 75, but we doubt it.
November 18, 2025 at 2:54 AM
#YarraTrams would like to congratulate Jess Wilson on being elected as the new leader of the Liberal party. May your reign last longer than a trip end to end on Route 75, but we doubt it.
Tram Cops today are targeting anyone who already has their Christmas decorations up. It’s not December yet, so settle down you hyped up elves.
You won’t be fined, but you will be banned from buying Hot Cross Buns on Boxing Day. #YarraTrams
You won’t be fined, but you will be banned from buying Hot Cross Buns on Boxing Day. #YarraTrams
November 17, 2025 at 9:30 PM
Tram Cops today are targeting anyone who already has their Christmas decorations up. It’s not December yet, so settle down you hyped up elves.
You won’t be fined, but you will be banned from buying Hot Cross Buns on Boxing Day. #YarraTrams
You won’t be fined, but you will be banned from buying Hot Cross Buns on Boxing Day. #YarraTrams
After last night’s AC⚡️DC concert at the MCG many trams are All Screwed Up, after High Voltage went down the Live Wire, and it was a Touch Too Much, causing a Meltdown. It will be some time before we are Back In Business. #YarraTrams
November 16, 2025 at 9:30 PM
After last night’s AC⚡️DC concert at the MCG many trams are All Screwed Up, after High Voltage went down the Live Wire, and it was a Touch Too Much, causing a Meltdown. It will be some time before we are Back In Business. #YarraTrams
How is it my turn to do the dishes again? Look the share house roster clearly shows all my chores have been erased, meaning I don’t have to do them. I also note that “Get Kebabs” is written in on your roster human, so go get kebabs. ~Depot Cat
November 15, 2025 at 1:00 PM
How is it my turn to do the dishes again? Look the share house roster clearly shows all my chores have been erased, meaning I don’t have to do them. I also note that “Get Kebabs” is written in on your roster human, so go get kebabs. ~Depot Cat
Friday, Friday! I’m zoning out on Friday. Something something kebabs, blah blah blah blah weekend. ~Depot Cat
November 14, 2025 at 4:21 AM
Friday, Friday! I’m zoning out on Friday. Something something kebabs, blah blah blah blah weekend. ~Depot Cat
Due to a growing number of vehicles colliding with trams, we’re introducing increased safety measures, by adding pool noodles to the sides of all trams.
If you make contact with a pool noodles, you won’t be allowed to go on the waterslide when it opens in 15 minutes. #YarraTrams
If you make contact with a pool noodles, you won’t be allowed to go on the waterslide when it opens in 15 minutes. #YarraTrams
November 13, 2025 at 9:30 PM
Due to a growing number of vehicles colliding with trams, we’re introducing increased safety measures, by adding pool noodles to the sides of all trams.
If you make contact with a pool noodles, you won’t be allowed to go on the waterslide when it opens in 15 minutes. #YarraTrams
If you make contact with a pool noodles, you won’t be allowed to go on the waterslide when it opens in 15 minutes. #YarraTrams
Throwback Thursday: Freshly launched Z1.3 passing under Clifton Hill rail bridge in 1975. A Tait train passes overhead, at the point made famous these days by the recent @fakemetrotrains derailment.
November 12, 2025 at 9:30 PM
Throwback Thursday: Freshly launched Z1.3 passing under Clifton Hill rail bridge in 1975. A Tait train passes overhead, at the point made famous these days by the recent @fakemetrotrains derailment.
A truck has collided with a tram on Rt.75 at Springvale Rd. Apparently there were no taxis available to cause the incident, so the truckie stepped up. #YarraTrams
November 12, 2025 at 7:20 PM
A truck has collided with a tram on Rt.75 at Springvale Rd. Apparently there were no taxis available to cause the incident, so the truckie stepped up. #YarraTrams
Not many humans know this, but AC⚡️DC is an acronym for Always Cute Depot Cat. The lightning bolt is actually a scratch for anyone who questions my facts. ~Depot Cat
November 12, 2025 at 10:01 AM
Not many humans know this, but AC⚡️DC is an acronym for Always Cute Depot Cat. The lightning bolt is actually a scratch for anyone who questions my facts. ~Depot Cat
Yeah! It’s about time these kids realised that public transport isn’t free for them.
We're pleased to hear Jacinta Allen's announcement of tougher punishments for juvenile crime.
We can only hope these laws will include harsh penalties for the most serious crime of all: not tapping on a valid Myki.
#MetroTrains
We can only hope these laws will include harsh penalties for the most serious crime of all: not tapping on a valid Myki.
#MetroTrains
November 12, 2025 at 1:28 AM
Yeah! It’s about time these kids realised that public transport isn’t free for them.
AC⚡️DC play the MCG tonight, and again on Sunday, for two huge concerts. However #YarraTrams will not be providing extra trams. The band still haven’t paid the fine for delaying services on Swanston St, Feb 23, 1976, while filming this video clip:
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November 11, 2025 at 9:30 PM
AC⚡️DC play the MCG tonight, and again on Sunday, for two huge concerts. However #YarraTrams will not be providing extra trams. The band still haven’t paid the fine for delaying services on Swanston St, Feb 23, 1976, while filming this video clip:
On the 11th hour, of the 11th day, of the 11th month, we will remember them. Lest We Forget.
November 11, 2025 at 12:00 AM
On the 11th hour, of the 11th day, of the 11th month, we will remember them. Lest We Forget.