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falseknees.bsky.social
False Knees
@falseknees.bsky.social
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falseknees.bsky.social
Kneesvember 2025 Day 16
The blue knight and his steed, the dragonfly, are flying in front of a blurred green, blue, and yellow background. The gull is close behind. "What a nightmare!" screamed the blue knight. "What a monster! What a ghoul! Gaze upon its unyielding plumage! We haven't a hope to defeat this beast! Come, Sapphire!" Throwing his eyepatch to the ground and renouncing his allegiance to the Queen, the blue knight and his steed disappeared into the wood. And the creature pursued them!
November 25, 2025 at 4:27 AM
falseknees.bsky.social
Kneesvember 2025 Day 15
The four warblers are facing against a large gull. The blue knight is shooting bolts at the gulls head to no effect. The frame surrounding the image has various health bars which makes the scene appear as if out of a video game. Or that's what I was going for, anyway. Frantically, the blue knight shot bolt upon bolt at the interloper. "Aim at its weak spots!" urged the red knight. Alas, the horrible creature had none.
November 24, 2025 at 4:14 AM
falseknees.bsky.social
20% off all books in the False Knees store! store.falseknees.com
November 23, 2025 at 1:04 AM
falseknees.bsky.social
Kneesvember 2025 Day 14
The image is drawn duochromatically, with red and green. There is a gull taking up the majority of the frame and it is eating the snail. A red spiral is drawn emanating from the snail. Before the blue knight could yell "Dragon!", the creature descended from the sky and in one flick of its beak, devoured the snail whole. "Mine steed!" cried the red knight. "Mine sweet, slimy steed!"
November 22, 2025 at 3:06 AM
falseknees.bsky.social
Kneesvember 2025 Day 13
We see our four heroes standing on a rock. The red knight sees his steed, the snail a little ways off. Bagglyn is still dragging the yellow knight's sword. The blue knight sees something in the reflection of the water, which is a spooky silhouette in front of the sun. "Ah, we've caught up with my faithful steed," remarked the red knight. "It looks like it has found something... perhaps the scent of a Dragon!" A reflection in the water caught the eye of the blue knight.
November 21, 2025 at 4:32 AM
falseknees.bsky.social
Kneesvember 2025 Day 12
The four warblers are walking along the water's edge on large rocks. There is a tree with yellow leaves centred in the image. On went the newfangled quartet, with the red knight leading the way along the water's edge. "It'd be speedier if we were to fly," suggested Bagglyn. The blue knight rolled his eye. "Where is thine sense of adventure?" he said, before doing a backflip from one rock to another. "So cool..." breathed Bagglyn in awe. "I quite enjoy strolling upon the earth," panted Grell, "as if we were a fellowship of adorable little bugs!"
November 20, 2025 at 1:57 AM
falseknees.bsky.social
Kneesvember 2025 Day 11
The red knight is in the foreground, speaking to a distracted group. Grell is wistfully watched the snipe wading away. The blue knight is releasing the yellow knight's steed, the great bumblebee. The blue knight's dragonfly steed is hovering overhead. And finally, Bagglyn has her cap back–with arrow still lodged through it–and is tentatively picking up the yellow knight's discarded sword. "Hah! That was no Dragon, but a mere malevolent minion of darkness!" scoffed the red knight. "Forget that yellow-bellied knight and her leaden greaves. Onward! I have a strong notion we shall find what we seek." So onward they went–toward certain disaster!
November 18, 2025 at 8:17 PM
falseknees.bsky.social
Kneesvember 2025 Day 10
"What a horror!" cried the yellow knight, "What a brute! What an ogre! Gaze upon its great lance! We haven't a hope to defeat this beast!" Unbuckling her sword's sheath and renouncing her knighthood, the yellow brid vanished into the wood. "I think it looks quite kindly for a Dragon" said Grell. We see a snipe wading near the shore. Grell and the blue knight look on.
November 17, 2025 at 5:03 AM
falseknees.bsky.social
Kneesvember 2025 Day 9
*Interested in having this story as a book? Sign up to be notified when it's ready to order! It also helps us figure out how many to print :) falseknees.com/kneesvember/...
"So," began the red knight, "when capturing my likeness in tapestrye, ordinary red thread simply wouldn't do my plume justice–" but was interrupted by the yellow knight frantically pushing him from behind. "Shhh! Hide!" she hissed, "Dragon!" A dreary scene in monochromatic pencil. The warbler crew are moving behind a rock in the foreground to stay out of sight of a scary beast at the water's edge.
November 16, 2025 at 3:41 AM
falseknees.bsky.social
Kneesvember 2025 Day 8
Bagglyn is shown inventing a story with yellow and red stars in a green speech bubble. Grell is next to her looking nervous. Along the bottom of the panel, we have the blue, red, and yellow knights, all in a row. The red knight is laughing and the plumes of his helmet are touching the yellow knight's head. The snail is also there! "Errr... we are the Queen's historians, sent to record your heroic feats to relay to Her Highness" fabricated Bagglyn. "Your peasant garb is an uncanny disguise" laughed the red knight, "though I wouldn't have used so much dirt!" "Ha" said Bagglyn, "Ha ha ha ha." "I weave them historical tapestryes!" blurted Grell, "all them pretty pictures with nothin' but wee threads!" he continued, winking at Bagglyn.
November 14, 2025 at 8:28 PM
falseknees.bsky.social
Kneesvember 2025 Day 7
Without warning, the knights erupted from the bushes and immediately subdued Bagglyn and Grell. "Who are you and why are you following us?" spat the red knight. Author note: there is an image of the blue knight shooting his crossbow in a very cool fashion The red knight marches aggressively through bushes to our peasant warblers. Bagglyn has had her red hat shot off and stuck to the trunk of a tree by the blue knight. Grell is lying prone on the ground with a blank look on his face. The yellow knight has her boot on Grell with her sword pointed directly at him.
November 13, 2025 at 8:09 PM
falseknees.bsky.social
Kneesvember 2025 Day 6
Bagglyn and Grell are in the woods sitting on stones in front of what they believe constitutes a campfire. Grell is eating berries and Bagglyn is looking to the right. After flying for several hours, the knights stopped for lunch. Bagglyn and Grell did the same just out of sight. "I didn't know the realm were so immense!" remarked Grell, gawking at the unfamiliar landscape. "I b'lieve we passed b'yond the realm and entered the Wylds" replied Bagglyn. "The wuh?" enquired Grell at great volume, spitting out a beak-full of queasyberries.
November 13, 2025 at 2:39 AM
falseknees.bsky.social
Kneesvember 2025 Day 5
Tiny silhouettes of birds, one in front with 5 (including flying steeds) and one behind with 2, fly in an early morning sky. There is the slightest hint of warm colours on the horizon. Oh also in the sky there's a cloud in the shape of a bird skull. The knights set off before dawn, and Bagglyn and Grell were not far behind. Ominous clouds hung over the realm, but warblers are a notoriously unsuperstitious folk, and took no notice.
November 11, 2025 at 6:29 PM
falseknees.bsky.social
Kneesvember 2025 Day 4
The three knights are beside their respective steeds on the ground layered in yellow oak leaves. The yellow knight has a bumblebee, who is eating from a plate of flowers; the blue knight, who has a crossbow and an eyepatch, has a dragonfly who is eating from a bucket of pink slop; the red knight, speaking expressively with wings spread wide, has a snail. Later that evening, the knights packed for their queste. "I have ne'er afore encountered a Dragon" admitted the yellow knight, who fought for honour and glory, "are they large beasts?" "And where shall we seek one?" added the blue knight, who was very cool. "Friends! Worry not, for I am an expert in such matters! said the red knight, who was a great liar. Note: there is a small drawing of Grell and Bagglyn watching the knights very obviously from behind a fence.
November 10, 2025 at 7:29 PM
falseknees.bsky.social
Kneesvember 2025 Day 3
Two peasant warblers are speaking to each other in the crowd. The first is yellow and gray-blue and is wearing a red hat, medieval-style. The second is dark gray and orange-yellow and is wearing a sort of brown tunic, medieval-style? The crowd around them are all drawn in uniform purple to make them blend in. "I wish t' see a Dragon!" exclaimed Bagglyn, a lowly worm-whistler from Mudhole, straining to see over the crowd. "I know wherein them noble knights keep their noble steeds!" replied her friend, Grell, the stable boy, "We could follow 'em in secret on their noble queste!"
November 9, 2025 at 6:41 PM
falseknees.bsky.social
Kneesvember 2025 Day 2
A large crowd of birds is gathered in front of the Queen, who is an ovenbird wearing a crown and a purple cape with white furry trim. There are three knights standing at the end of the royal rug: a redstart wearing a helmet with a red plume, a yellow warbler with a belted sword and metal boots, and a cerulean warbler who has some straps but we see nothing else. There are yellow and purple bunting flags and some banners showing the Queen's image. Growing increasingly eccentric in Her old age, the Queen ordered Her three finest knights on a most dangerous queste: to retrieve the head of a Dragon!
November 8, 2025 at 6:13 PM
falseknees.bsky.social
Kneesvember 2025 Day 1
Birds are flying toward a castle with several red-roofed towers built at the top of an enormous oak tree. The sky is blue and there are wispy clouds. The tree is full of orange leaves and there are red and yellow trees in the distance. The image is bordered by a red, yellow, and blue, uh... border, with little stars and patterns. On the Queen's seventh birthday, brids from across the warbler realm were flocking to Oakcliffe Castle to take part in the festivities. (The first letter is illustrated in its own cute little box, technically termed an historiated initial, like in medieval manuscripts)
November 7, 2025 at 4:22 PM
falseknees.bsky.social
Lucca! I will be signing today from 4-7pm at the Gigaciao booth. Come by and say tweedle chirp chirp tweet
October 30, 2025 at 11:57 AM
falseknees.bsky.social
A bird/human monstrosity sits on a train looking at its phone as the countryside goes by out the window. The train stops and the bird puts down its crossword app to look at a town flying an italian flag. "Huh?" asks the guy/bird "How did I get to Ireland?" A neighbouring passenger says (in italian) "This is the italian flag ... you're in Italy" to which our bird responds "...um" while typing on its phone. In the final panel we see the screen of the bird's phone, where it is trying to translate from English to Irish "Where can I go birdwatching?" Typing this out makes it seem like it doesn't make any sense. But to paraphrase Mitch Hedberg, go inside my head and then tell me it's not funny.
October 22, 2025 at 6:20 PM
falseknees.bsky.social
A scene of destruction; a city's downtown lays in smouldering ruin, skyscrapers crumbling, fires creating toxic smoke. A colossal mechanical robin stands in the middle of this mayhem. The machine leans forward with a hydraulic "VVVVRT" and exhaust shoots out of its neck with a "PSSHHT!". In the interior of this horrible mechanism we see a robin in the command centre, pausing and looking away from its module. Two more robins wait in pregnant pause, all wearing headsets. There is a poster hung that reads "WORK SAFELY" and features a bird wearing a hardhat. Another begins "you don't have to be CRAZY to work here but..." and is cut off by the frame of the image. We see the captain of the vessel, in a captain's hat, pause before commanding "Full power to thrusters". In the final panel, the mecharobin is blasting forward with immense jet engines that have emerged out of each side of the machine. Entire buildings are blown apart in its wake. The target of this war machine is a giant earth worm which is laying waste to the city in the foreground. It seems surprised at this maneuver of the robins.
August 27, 2025 at 3:10 PM
falseknees.bsky.social
I won an Eisner award!!! Life After Life took Best Webcomic! Incredibly surreal experience. I’m overjoyed
July 29, 2025 at 2:52 PM
falseknees.bsky.social
'Ew, It's Beautiful' is out now!
Disclaimer: this comic is an ad for the release of my book, 'Ew, It's Beautiful' Panel one: My new book comes out today! Image of the book cover and a cartoonish crow Panel two: Buy it in a store! The crow asks an employee, Ted, of a bookstore "Can you direct me to the classic bird literature section?" Panel three: Borrow it from a friend! Ted and crow are fighting over a copy of the book in question. Ted exclaims "Hey! This is my personal copy!" Signs of altercation lie around them, his wallet and keys have fallen out of his pocket, an overturned book lies open. Panel four: Take it out from the library! A librarian is holding Ted's library card and says to the crow, who is taking the book out on loan "Enjoy your summer reading, Ted!" A computer on the desk dings with "BOOK LEND SUCCESSFUL" printed on the screen.
July 16, 2025 at 8:11 PM
falseknees.bsky.social
Improbably Compatible #oldknees
Two crows are flying in front of a gray-blue sky. One says to the other "Do you think we're best friends in other universes too?" The second panel splits into a three by three grid of different reactions of "Um"s and "Well"s from the second crow, in a multiverse sort of way. The third panel is further split again by three, so there are nine by nine squares of the same two crows flying together, the only distinction between the squares is a different sky colour. In the fourth panel, the square are again divided by three so there are now 27 by 27 filling the panel. We can see now that there is a greater pattern emerging from the colours of each square, a pixelated form is starting to emerge. In the fifth panel, the many many squares of different universes is reminiscent of a painting using pointillism, which each dot of colour represent one of many thousands of realities. We can see now very clearly that the pixelated forms are the two crows, flying in front of a gray-blue sky. We return to the visual resolution as we saw in the first panel, as if no time has passed at all. The second crow responds "It doesn't seem likely".
July 7, 2025 at 6:03 PM
falseknees.bsky.social
Fledgling (14/14)
Back in the nest, our protagonist is recounting her adventure to her siblings "... and then the giant bird made a great sound..." She throws her head back and yells "OINK!" then quickly says to herself "wait, that can't be right." Her siblings say "that's a pretty cool story sis" "yeah". And quietly confer with each other "Should we...?" "Yeah alright" and ask Fledgling "How would you like to join our SECRET CLUB?" "How do have a secret club? We share the same... everything!" she replies. "It's pretty new" they say "yeah, so don't tell anyone!" "Yeah don't tell mom!" Fledgling agrees "She'd be like: 'oh, I don't know about that...'" The siblings respond "Haha!" "That's really good!" All erupt into gleeful laughter as we leave the chicks in their nest in a happy ending, and why would anyone expect otherwise from your friendly bird comics creator, Mr. False Knees. The End.
July 5, 2025 at 4:53 PM
falseknees.bsky.social
Fledgling (13/14)
Mama bird appears behind Fledgling "There you are!" she says, "all your down fell off... are you ok?". The chick has a thousand-yard stare and asks "mom... am I... food?". Mama bird responds "Aw, you're not to me" and to distract, asks "do you want some bug mush?" Fledgling emphatically replies "YAH"
July 3, 2025 at 6:07 PM