I thought I would be mining all of my reader asks during November, but I have quite a few still hiding in my inbox: Thank you for them. So here we go (wow, this got long…)! ___ Hi I am a new Domme and have two online male subs. Both are married and they wifes know about it. One his wife sometimes joins in. [...]

Welcome to Elust #76 – The only place where the smartest and hottest sex bloggers are featured under one roof every month. Whether you’re looking for sex journalism, erotic writing, relationship advice or kinky discussions it’ll be here at Elust. Want to be included in Elust #77? Start with the rules, come back December 1st to submit something and subscribe to the RSS feed for updates!   ~ [...]

I do these things to you, these violent things, these things that hurt, these things that make you scared and hard and conflicted and they are hot and they make me come and then, when I have come, I want to wrap you up, all arms and legs and skin softness, safe, and have your mouth, [...]

What is 'topping from the bottom' and what do you do about it?

Not on me, though that would be handy because I’m a delicate flower and always have bruises of some sort. You know the kind: those ones that appear in odd places and you have no idea how they got there. The ones where you run into something and think ‘Wow, that’s gonna bruise later’, but later when you find it, [...]

I have to say, firstly, that as a femdom dating a submissive, having all of that BDSM stuff on the table cuts out a lot of overthinky bullshit with vanilla men about when and how to bring it up. It feels like I can breathe, which is a blessed relief. We met at one of my favourite spots for lunch, [...]

There were some conversations on Twitter today about the difference between a 24/7 D/s dynamic and a Female Led Relationship (FLR).  An expanded version of my tweet-thoughts on this below. The upshot: To me they’re the same thing. My goal is a 24/7 D/s dynamic.  In my 24/7 D/s dynamic (when I have one), I have the authority in our relationship. [...]

Welcome to Elust 86– The only place where the smartest and hottest sex bloggers are featured under one roof every month. Whether you’re looking for sex journalism, erotic writing, relationship advice or kinky discussions it’ll be here at Elust. Want to be included in Elust #86 Start with the rules, come back October 1st to submit something and subscribe to the RSS feed for updates!   ~ [...]

Vagina gym: exercising kegels the lazy way

Wow, it’s really not like me to forget fun things like publishing self serving survey results! But I did, I forgot!! I blame hormones, or the move, or all the wild sex I’ve been having… *sigh*… ok, maybe not the latter… Some more free form text answers to my survey from waaaay back when below: Q: Why do you read my blog? Queer Female Switch, [...]

I was talking with a friend about representation of BDSMers and F/m in particular, and how important it is to see normal healthy F/m relationships, to see versions of ourselves, ‘people like us’, and how rare it really is. In the F/m world, the only people who actively court publicity, who do marketing, who are quoted in the media, [...]

Pandering in F/m relationships: A rant

This was such a great question it gets its very own post (also I rambled on way too long…). ___ Dear Ferns,  Your kinda like my idol (: Im a beginner and I was thinking about when I am ready to pursue a relationship with a submissive should I choose someone who is new too? I feel like my potential partner should be able to grow with me. *smile* That’s such a lovely compliment, [...]

BDSM house goes to market with photos of fully kitted out dungeon basement space. Unsurprisingly, the ad went viral. Check it out.

A blessed rest from contemplating my own navel… Let’s see who’s been hiding all up in my Ask box, shall we?  ___ I’m a 23 year old virgin male who is extremely submissive. Because of this, I have a hard time meeting women and always want them to take the lead (it has never worked). Any advice here? [...]

Welcome to Elust #68 – The only place where the smartest and hottest sex bloggers are featured under one roof every month. Whether you’re looking for sex journalism, erotic writing, relationship advice or kinky discussions it’ll be here at Elust. Want to be included in Elust #69? Start with the rules, come back April 1st to submit something and subscribe to the RSS feed for updates! For our UK readers, [...]

Hello 22yo-guy-who-found-my-story-on-literotica, I didn’t reply to your last because I already told you that I am not interested in an erotic exchange and yet you are persisting with it. I am not sure what about my lack of interest was unclear. And now you send me an unsolicited cock shot. This is a good indication that any future conversation is not possible. Please don’t contact me again. Best of luck to you. Ferns  [...]

So you got contacted by an uber hottie… whoo hoo!! She’s from your home town and she is super keen on you and thinks you are special… that’s so awesome!! She wants to claim you as her slave… yesss!!! You’ve been talking for a couple of weeks… it’s going great! She seems to be moving really fast, [...]

As a proper-for-real femdom blogger, I’m supposed to do a proper-for-real end-of-year (EOY) roundup full of stats and reflection and forward-looking statements about goals and such things, especially since it’s the end of the decade. Phew! I’m not going to do that, though. What I want to say in my last post of 2019 is this: I am lucky and privileged to have this platform to write, [...]

I got a lovely question in my inbox yesterday: Hey Ferns! I’ve been loving your blog for a long time now but I’ve been wondering… will there be more “Happy Femdom”-Stories to come? I really enjoyed reading those. All the Best!  Thank you so much for this wonderful question, anonymous asker (and I’m really glad you are loving my blog!). [...]

When I am talking to a submissive to see if we are compatible, if we’re feeling each other out, seeing how we get along, testing if we can make sparks fly, doing that whole dating thing, I always assume that he is also talking to, seeing, dating others.  There is no expectation of exclusivity there. I don’t ask them about it. [...]

Dear world, It’s my birthday. In honour of this momentous occasion, and as tradition dictates, I am sharing yet another photo of me where the majority of the pixels are bare skin*. See me glorying in your cancerous sunlight yet again!  Please send presents. Sincerely, Ferns   Hit the ‘Likes’ star. Yes that one just down there. It’s my birthday, [...]

I see online domination mentioned, and I can imagine what it means, but I’m wondering what exactly does it mean to you, if you have an online dynamic. —Question on Fetlife Assuming we’re talking about online-only interactions, I think for the majority of people (both dominant women and submissive men) it means online play of some sort, [...]

‘Rage: Retribution’ is now available on Amazon and in other stores! It’s my first fiction piece and a huge departure from the kind of content I normally do, so it’s entirely new territory for me on multiple fronts. Yikes! You can download Chapter 1 here (Amazon’s ‘Look Inside’ feature is currently truncating way too early: I’m trying to get that fixed).  THE STORY A millionaire reality-TV star becomes president: He unleashes a new age of ignorance and hatred upon the country, [...]