Reposted by flagg
Saint Patrick was probably cool with the snakes in Ireland but then his girlfriend gave him an ultimatum.
March 14, 2025 at 6:24 PM
Saint Patrick was probably cool with the snakes in Ireland but then his girlfriend gave him an ultimatum.
has anyone informed the Philadelphia cricket club that it's not in Philadelphia?
March 14, 2025 at 6:24 PM
has anyone informed the Philadelphia cricket club that it's not in Philadelphia?
big miss from @Fritolay by not doing a they not like utz commercial.
March 14, 2025 at 6:24 PM
big miss from @Fritolay by not doing a they not like utz commercial.
there's more than one way to skin a cat? ok well that's cool but I just need the easiest way.
March 14, 2025 at 6:24 PM
there's more than one way to skin a cat? ok well that's cool but I just need the easiest way.
sometimes I google shit like chess for 10 minutes just to make my ads less pathetic
March 14, 2025 at 6:24 PM
sometimes I google shit like chess for 10 minutes just to make my ads less pathetic
I mean I didn't, but did anyone hear can't you see by Marshall Tucker Band and think the lyrics were "one eyed woman been doing to me"
March 14, 2025 at 6:24 PM
I mean I didn't, but did anyone hear can't you see by Marshall Tucker Band and think the lyrics were "one eyed woman been doing to me"
fun fact about spaghettios: you don't even have to heat it up.
March 14, 2025 at 6:24 PM
fun fact about spaghettios: you don't even have to heat it up.
upset I didn't come up with the idea for a pink jabroni club costume earlier.
March 14, 2025 at 6:24 PM
upset I didn't come up with the idea for a pink jabroni club costume earlier.
has anyone used the term mingling my ding-a-ling before?
March 14, 2025 at 6:24 PM
has anyone used the term mingling my ding-a-ling before?
Guys literally only want one thing and it's fucking disgusting...
March 14, 2025 at 6:24 PM
Guys literally only want one thing and it's fucking disgusting...
Sometimes I get drunk and ask the real questions
March 14, 2025 at 6:24 PM
Sometimes I get drunk and ask the real questions
Did Issac Newtown create the term "how bout them apples?"
March 14, 2025 at 6:24 PM
Did Issac Newtown create the term "how bout them apples?"
CSI in Bel Air: "let's dust this place for fresh prints."
March 14, 2025 at 6:24 PM
CSI in Bel Air: "let's dust this place for fresh prints."
Someone played the Beverly hills cop theme about 4 times throughout the night at druid's and jokes on them because this song freaking rips
March 14, 2025 at 6:24 PM
Someone played the Beverly hills cop theme about 4 times throughout the night at druid's and jokes on them because this song freaking rips
Please tell me I'm the only person doing this. Olympics (air pistol): "10m? That seems pretty close." Google to find it's 32.9 feet. "oh yeah, a meter is close to a yard... So that's basically 3 first downs"
March 14, 2025 at 6:24 PM
Please tell me I'm the only person doing this. Olympics (air pistol): "10m? That seems pretty close." Google to find it's 32.9 feet. "oh yeah, a meter is close to a yard... So that's basically 3 first downs"
Do they cut to commercials in the middle of distance races in other countries or is that just as American as it feels?
March 14, 2025 at 6:24 PM
Do they cut to commercials in the middle of distance races in other countries or is that just as American as it feels?
I haven't had sex in so long that I have to order boneless wings now.
March 14, 2025 at 6:24 PM
I haven't had sex in so long that I have to order boneless wings now.
Does an ice cream sandwich imply the existence of an ice cream hoagie?
March 14, 2025 at 6:24 PM
Does an ice cream sandwich imply the existence of an ice cream hoagie?
I'm at the weird point in my life where I get ads for food and I don't know if it's for me or my dog.
March 14, 2025 at 6:24 PM
I'm at the weird point in my life where I get ads for food and I don't know if it's for me or my dog.
With zero research I feel compelled to say the best way to get a bigger burrito at @ChipotleTweets is to ask for a single protein serving and then ask for double protein once they provide the first. After that you just say "just a little more" after every ingredient you ask for.
March 14, 2025 at 6:24 PM
With zero research I feel compelled to say the best way to get a bigger burrito at @ChipotleTweets is to ask for a single protein serving and then ask for double protein once they provide the first. After that you just say "just a little more" after every ingredient you ask for.
Fish sticks, but with beef.
March 14, 2025 at 6:24 PM
Fish sticks, but with beef.
Are the gaps in toilet seats at bars for dudes that don't lift the seat or dudes that sit down with giant dicks?
March 14, 2025 at 6:24 PM
Are the gaps in toilet seats at bars for dudes that don't lift the seat or dudes that sit down with giant dicks?
Has the term slaydar ever been used before bc I think it's a great way to give a compliment
March 14, 2025 at 6:24 PM
Has the term slaydar ever been used before bc I think it's a great way to give a compliment
Please remember to wear protection. Raw dawging is dangerous. Other than that, enjoy the eclipse!
March 14, 2025 at 6:24 PM
Please remember to wear protection. Raw dawging is dangerous. Other than that, enjoy the eclipse!