oh, yeah. i totally read the outsiders. haha yeah totally. remain silver, horse man. #theoutsiders

You can eat M&Ms for breakfast as long as you pick them out of a bag of nuts and raisins

I bought a pepper grinder specifically to keep in my room so I can enjoy potato salad out of my mini fridge without having to go down to the kitchen.
Priest: okay yeah it’s not what I’d call normal but still not a sin

maybe eating a mummy would cure me

Saying “okay beemer” at any car that doesn’t use a turn signal

“A TV host got his job back. The dead still cry out from the ground, and many more will be silenced permanently before the despot running the United States gives up his throne.”

When fall rolls around I get Deku a little pumpkin, which he lovingly carries around until he realizes he can it it, and then chews it apart.

Actually kind of upset I’ve had this taped up on the back of my work monitor for over six months and no one’s commented on it

Watching the guy who cut me off in traffic subsequently get cut off by another driver

Walked inside to get my McDonald’s breakfast like a common pilgrim

If you watch videos with no headphones on an eight hour Amtrak you should exit the gene pool immediately

Nobody can tell me fuck all today

Today I had to order food for some students and they chose Chick Fil A which first of all ugh 🙄 but then I had to be seen crossing from the parking lot holding a bag of hate chicken

My institution also (for whatever reason) includes my middle name, so it’s Last, First Middle in your inbox. Tell me WHY I write the email, I sign the email WITH MY FIRST NAME, and the reply still begins with “Dear Dolores,” like WHERE IS YOUR READING COMPREHENSION

The worse instance of this happening is when you are responding to an email from me, where my name is on the sent field, in my email, and SIGNED AT THE BOTTOM IN FULL IN EVERY SINGLE EMAIL.

How are you going to type in my email (contains my name) watch it autofill with my whole name (internal email) and then misspell it in the beginning of your email? You rube. You complete ninny.