Goblin Punch
@goblinpunch.bsky.social
I'm going to try to post something every day. Let's see how far I get.
-Arnold K.
goblinpunch.blogspot.com
-Arnold K.
goblinpunch.blogspot.com
I just had my first aura migraine. What the actual fuck. Why did no one tell me that I could go temporarily blind on my left side for no reason at all.
2/5 stars
2/5 stars
February 11, 2026 at 2:41 AM
I just had my first aura migraine. What the actual fuck. Why did no one tell me that I could go temporarily blind on my left side for no reason at all.
2/5 stars
2/5 stars
Reposted by Goblin Punch
That's right, you can now try Intergalactic Bastionland in a very early, messy state.
www.bastionland.com/2026/02/inte...
www.bastionland.com/2026/02/inte...
Intergalactic Bastionland Public Playtest
Intergalactic Bastionland is now ready for public playtesting. Go here to find everything you need . We're a way off the Kickstarter yet, ...
www.bastionland.com
February 9, 2026 at 3:05 PM
That's right, you can now try Intergalactic Bastionland in a very early, messy state.
www.bastionland.com/2026/02/inte...
www.bastionland.com/2026/02/inte...
MAGIC ITEM: "Out of Order" sign.
Anything that this object is affixed to will break. This effect typically ends when the sign is removed.
If you affix it to a bridge, the bridge won't instantly collapse, but the next wagon that goes over it will probably fall through it.
Anything that this object is affixed to will break. This effect typically ends when the sign is removed.
If you affix it to a bridge, the bridge won't instantly collapse, but the next wagon that goes over it will probably fall through it.
February 10, 2026 at 5:57 PM
MAGIC ITEM: "Out of Order" sign.
Anything that this object is affixed to will break. This effect typically ends when the sign is removed.
If you affix it to a bridge, the bridge won't instantly collapse, but the next wagon that goes over it will probably fall through it.
Anything that this object is affixed to will break. This effect typically ends when the sign is removed.
If you affix it to a bridge, the bridge won't instantly collapse, but the next wagon that goes over it will probably fall through it.
ROOM: The Coward's Door
When approached, this door runs away, sliding away on the wall like a paper across a desk, bricks clattering. It zooms down hallways, hides behind tapestries, and will find a loop in the dungeon so it can't be cornered.
Only when the doorknob is grasped does it halt.
When approached, this door runs away, sliding away on the wall like a paper across a desk, bricks clattering. It zooms down hallways, hides behind tapestries, and will find a loop in the dungeon so it can't be cornered.
Only when the doorknob is grasped does it halt.
February 9, 2026 at 6:17 PM
ROOM: The Coward's Door
When approached, this door runs away, sliding away on the wall like a paper across a desk, bricks clattering. It zooms down hallways, hides behind tapestries, and will find a loop in the dungeon so it can't be cornered.
Only when the doorknob is grasped does it halt.
When approached, this door runs away, sliding away on the wall like a paper across a desk, bricks clattering. It zooms down hallways, hides behind tapestries, and will find a loop in the dungeon so it can't be cornered.
Only when the doorknob is grasped does it halt.
Gender Among the Elves. Built from two starting premises.
1. Elves can change their gender easily.
2. Elven society is still pretty patriarchal.
goblinpunch.blogspot.com/2026/02/gend...
1. Elves can change their gender easily.
2. Elven society is still pretty patriarchal.
goblinpunch.blogspot.com/2026/02/gend...
Gender Among the Elves
There are only two genders: male and female. Men are strong, stoic, brave. They protect the weak and build great things. Women are sensitiv...
goblinpunch.blogspot.com
February 9, 2026 at 5:26 AM
Gender Among the Elves. Built from two starting premises.
1. Elves can change their gender easily.
2. Elven society is still pretty patriarchal.
goblinpunch.blogspot.com/2026/02/gend...
1. Elves can change their gender easily.
2. Elven society is still pretty patriarchal.
goblinpunch.blogspot.com/2026/02/gend...
MAGIC ITEM: The Second Emperor's Wine.
If presented as a gift, this bottle of wine requires the recipient to cease hostilities and share a meal with you.
Works on dragons, undead, even slimes. This is an ancient covenant of hospitality.
If blood has already been spilt, it's not a compulsion.
If presented as a gift, this bottle of wine requires the recipient to cease hostilities and share a meal with you.
Works on dragons, undead, even slimes. This is an ancient covenant of hospitality.
If blood has already been spilt, it's not a compulsion.
February 8, 2026 at 11:33 PM
MAGIC ITEM: The Second Emperor's Wine.
If presented as a gift, this bottle of wine requires the recipient to cease hostilities and share a meal with you.
Works on dragons, undead, even slimes. This is an ancient covenant of hospitality.
If blood has already been spilt, it's not a compulsion.
If presented as a gift, this bottle of wine requires the recipient to cease hostilities and share a meal with you.
Works on dragons, undead, even slimes. This is an ancient covenant of hospitality.
If blood has already been spilt, it's not a compulsion.
Die, Clerics, Die!
A system for a party-wide shared HP pool (sorta) based on Cheer / Morale.
goblinpunch.blogspot.com/2026/02/be-o...
A system for a party-wide shared HP pool (sorta) based on Cheer / Morale.
goblinpunch.blogspot.com/2026/02/be-o...
Be of Good Cheer
The party has a shared resource called Spirit. This is confidence or good cheer. A party gains Spirit by (1) resting in safe places, (2) b...
goblinpunch.blogspot.com
February 7, 2026 at 1:11 AM
Die, Clerics, Die!
A system for a party-wide shared HP pool (sorta) based on Cheer / Morale.
goblinpunch.blogspot.com/2026/02/be-o...
A system for a party-wide shared HP pool (sorta) based on Cheer / Morale.
goblinpunch.blogspot.com/2026/02/be-o...
DUNGEON BOSS. On the mountain top. Wrackton is an evil blind sage staff fighter, Level 7. Death Wing is a Lvl 10 peregrine falcon that can fly 300 mph, decapitate knights in a single pass, and blow over a horse with his shockwave. He has the mind of a normal trained falcon.
August 27, 2025 at 2:32 AM
DUNGEON BOSS. On the mountain top. Wrackton is an evil blind sage staff fighter, Level 7. Death Wing is a Lvl 10 peregrine falcon that can fly 300 mph, decapitate knights in a single pass, and blow over a horse with his shockwave. He has the mind of a normal trained falcon.
There are only two genders. Don't pretend that there aren't.
So be honest. Are you a blacksmith or a miner?
goblinpunch.blogspot.com/2025/08/dwar...
So be honest. Are you a blacksmith or a miner?
goblinpunch.blogspot.com/2025/08/dwar...
Dwarven Gender, Continued
Remember that post I did about dwarven gender? If you haven't read it--you're in luck. You can be just as confused as Podrick, below. It...
goblinpunch.blogspot.com
August 20, 2025 at 5:50 AM
There are only two genders. Don't pretend that there aren't.
So be honest. Are you a blacksmith or a miner?
goblinpunch.blogspot.com/2025/08/dwar...
So be honest. Are you a blacksmith or a miner?
goblinpunch.blogspot.com/2025/08/dwar...
Magic Amulet - Endowment of the Flesh God.
Focus on a creature to see through their eyes and learn their greatest desire. If you fail an easy Cha save their greatest desire overwrites your own greatest desire.
Also, your bloodstreams commingle, sharing the effects of any potion, intoxicant, etc.
Focus on a creature to see through their eyes and learn their greatest desire. If you fail an easy Cha save their greatest desire overwrites your own greatest desire.
Also, your bloodstreams commingle, sharing the effects of any potion, intoxicant, etc.
July 23, 2025 at 10:08 PM
Magic Amulet - Endowment of the Flesh God.
Focus on a creature to see through their eyes and learn their greatest desire. If you fail an easy Cha save their greatest desire overwrites your own greatest desire.
Also, your bloodstreams commingle, sharing the effects of any potion, intoxicant, etc.
Focus on a creature to see through their eyes and learn their greatest desire. If you fail an easy Cha save their greatest desire overwrites your own greatest desire.
Also, your bloodstreams commingle, sharing the effects of any potion, intoxicant, etc.
MONSTER: Atrocidon. Stats as ogre. Appear in packs of 1d3+1. Powerful lizard-hulks but effectiveness is crippled by their overriding urge for cruelty. Will *always* attack the weakest person. Will *always* go out of their way to trample a baby. Famously easy to control in this way.
June 26, 2025 at 9:03 PM
MONSTER: Atrocidon. Stats as ogre. Appear in packs of 1d3+1. Powerful lizard-hulks but effectiveness is crippled by their overriding urge for cruelty. Will *always* attack the weakest person. Will *always* go out of their way to trample a baby. Famously easy to control in this way.
Reposted by Goblin Punch
When you design obstacles or puzzles in a dungeon, you should pack the dungeon with multiple solutions. The weirder, more esoteric, and more flavorful—the better.
www.explorersdesign.com/designing-lo...
www.explorersdesign.com/designing-lo...
Design Your Locks With More Keys
Every adventure's puzzle should have multiple solutions. In this article, we figure out how to give all of our metaphorical locks a ring of keys.
www.explorersdesign.com
May 27, 2025 at 2:14 PM
When you design obstacles or puzzles in a dungeon, you should pack the dungeon with multiple solutions. The weirder, more esoteric, and more flavorful—the better.
www.explorersdesign.com/designing-lo...
www.explorersdesign.com/designing-lo...
Combat is only a fail state if it's too costly relative to the rewards. The costliness can come from HP, resources, or the player's time.
OSR games tend to have hard combats, which are frequently too costly (unless the players engineer some advantage).
OSR games tend to have hard combats, which are frequently too costly (unless the players engineer some advantage).
June 26, 2025 at 8:21 PM
Combat is only a fail state if it's too costly relative to the rewards. The costliness can come from HP, resources, or the player's time.
OSR games tend to have hard combats, which are frequently too costly (unless the players engineer some advantage).
OSR games tend to have hard combats, which are frequently too costly (unless the players engineer some advantage).
It's April Fools, so all TTRPG bloggers should be looking at their old content and deciding which characters they'd put in their dating sim.
April 1, 2025 at 6:40 PM
It's April Fools, so all TTRPG bloggers should be looking at their old content and deciding which characters they'd put in their dating sim.
A Monster - Emperor Tortoise
Cruel carnivores. 800 lbs, but no natural attacks. Can cast *magic jar* to swap bodies with you. While piloting your body, they'll jump off a cliff or drown you. Then they switch back and eat your corpse. Cha negates.
Plan B is hiding in their shell and screaming.
Cruel carnivores. 800 lbs, but no natural attacks. Can cast *magic jar* to swap bodies with you. While piloting your body, they'll jump off a cliff or drown you. Then they switch back and eat your corpse. Cha negates.
Plan B is hiding in their shell and screaming.
March 28, 2025 at 3:08 AM
A Monster - Emperor Tortoise
Cruel carnivores. 800 lbs, but no natural attacks. Can cast *magic jar* to swap bodies with you. While piloting your body, they'll jump off a cliff or drown you. Then they switch back and eat your corpse. Cha negates.
Plan B is hiding in their shell and screaming.
Cruel carnivores. 800 lbs, but no natural attacks. Can cast *magic jar* to swap bodies with you. While piloting your body, they'll jump off a cliff or drown you. Then they switch back and eat your corpse. Cha negates.
Plan B is hiding in their shell and screaming.
Magic Item - Ghast Pituitary. If you eat this and then eat someone's brain, you can learn *roughly* what they knew, but you need to succeed on a Cha save or have your personality permanently altered to be more similar to theirs.
Another Cha save, or you'll adopt 1 of their values/goals.
Another Cha save, or you'll adopt 1 of their values/goals.
March 28, 2025 at 3:04 AM
Magic Item - Ghast Pituitary. If you eat this and then eat someone's brain, you can learn *roughly* what they knew, but you need to succeed on a Cha save or have your personality permanently altered to be more similar to theirs.
Another Cha save, or you'll adopt 1 of their values/goals.
Another Cha save, or you'll adopt 1 of their values/goals.
I started reading Atlas Shrugged and yes, it's pretty propagandish. BUT it is actually kinda fun to read if you treat it like pure fantasy.
Like LotR is also kinda propandish but we don't care because it's a fantasy world that doesn't touch our world.
Like LotR is also kinda propandish but we don't care because it's a fantasy world that doesn't touch our world.
March 28, 2025 at 3:01 AM
I started reading Atlas Shrugged and yes, it's pretty propagandish. BUT it is actually kinda fun to read if you treat it like pure fantasy.
Like LotR is also kinda propandish but we don't care because it's a fantasy world that doesn't touch our world.
Like LotR is also kinda propandish but we don't care because it's a fantasy world that doesn't touch our world.
MAGIC ITEM - Green Glass Lance
Once per day, when you take damage from a ranged attack, you may teleport to the source of the damage. If you do, you make an immediate melee attack against them with a +4 to hit.
Once per day, when you take damage from a ranged attack, you may teleport to the source of the damage. If you do, you make an immediate melee attack against them with a +4 to hit.
March 21, 2025 at 8:08 PM
MAGIC ITEM - Green Glass Lance
Once per day, when you take damage from a ranged attack, you may teleport to the source of the damage. If you do, you make an immediate melee attack against them with a +4 to hit.
Once per day, when you take damage from a ranged attack, you may teleport to the source of the damage. If you do, you make an immediate melee attack against them with a +4 to hit.
I wrote a monster? Maybe it's more a dungeon hazard. It's mostly just a big thing that you run away from, meant to be The Big Thing on a dungeon level.
goblinpunch.blogspot.com/2025/03/the-...
goblinpunch.blogspot.com/2025/03/the-...
The Hungering Dark
Go into the earth, and reality will walk alongside you. Walk further, and you will eventually be walking alone. The world is plastic down ...
goblinpunch.blogspot.com
March 1, 2025 at 8:58 AM
I wrote a monster? Maybe it's more a dungeon hazard. It's mostly just a big thing that you run away from, meant to be The Big Thing on a dungeon level.
goblinpunch.blogspot.com/2025/03/the-...
goblinpunch.blogspot.com/2025/03/the-...
Magic Item - Mind Bandit Amulets:
Always produced in pairs. As long as both amulets are worn, the brains and eyes of the two wearers are swapped. Ends if one of the wearers dies or if the amulet is taken off.
Always produced in pairs. As long as both amulets are worn, the brains and eyes of the two wearers are swapped. Ends if one of the wearers dies or if the amulet is taken off.
March 1, 2025 at 4:16 AM
Magic Item - Mind Bandit Amulets:
Always produced in pairs. As long as both amulets are worn, the brains and eyes of the two wearers are swapped. Ends if one of the wearers dies or if the amulet is taken off.
Always produced in pairs. As long as both amulets are worn, the brains and eyes of the two wearers are swapped. Ends if one of the wearers dies or if the amulet is taken off.
A Trap and a Secret - Spear Ladder
Each time the floor panel is depressed, a spear shoots out of the wall dealing 2d6. After pressing the panel 12x, you'll have a ladder made of spears, which leads to a hidden trap-door in the roof.
Each time the floor panel is depressed, a spear shoots out of the wall dealing 2d6. After pressing the panel 12x, you'll have a ladder made of spears, which leads to a hidden trap-door in the roof.
March 1, 2025 at 4:03 AM
A Trap and a Secret - Spear Ladder
Each time the floor panel is depressed, a spear shoots out of the wall dealing 2d6. After pressing the panel 12x, you'll have a ladder made of spears, which leads to a hidden trap-door in the roof.
Each time the floor panel is depressed, a spear shoots out of the wall dealing 2d6. After pressing the panel 12x, you'll have a ladder made of spears, which leads to a hidden trap-door in the roof.
Magic Item - Saddle of Horsification
Any creature that this saddle is strapped to will turn into a horse for as long as the saddle is affixed.
Any creature that this saddle is strapped to will turn into a horse for as long as the saddle is affixed.
March 1, 2025 at 4:01 AM
Magic Item - Saddle of Horsification
Any creature that this saddle is strapped to will turn into a horse for as long as the saddle is affixed.
Any creature that this saddle is strapped to will turn into a horse for as long as the saddle is affixed.
Magic Item - Transparent Paint
Creates transparent patches when it is painted on objects. Allows you to see through thin walls and read the first page of books without opening them. If you drink it, you can see the insides of objects but not the outsides. It's disorienting; -4 to hit.
Creates transparent patches when it is painted on objects. Allows you to see through thin walls and read the first page of books without opening them. If you drink it, you can see the insides of objects but not the outsides. It's disorienting; -4 to hit.
March 1, 2025 at 4:00 AM
Magic Item - Transparent Paint
Creates transparent patches when it is painted on objects. Allows you to see through thin walls and read the first page of books without opening them. If you drink it, you can see the insides of objects but not the outsides. It's disorienting; -4 to hit.
Creates transparent patches when it is painted on objects. Allows you to see through thin walls and read the first page of books without opening them. If you drink it, you can see the insides of objects but not the outsides. It's disorienting; -4 to hit.
What's the best way* to make a website that has a searchable database of magic items? Not just searchable by "sword" but also by "flight" or "cursed" or "elven".
*best way for a less-technical computer person.
*best way for a less-technical computer person.
December 9, 2024 at 1:36 AM
What's the best way* to make a website that has a searchable database of magic items? Not just searchable by "sword" but also by "flight" or "cursed" or "elven".
*best way for a less-technical computer person.
*best way for a less-technical computer person.
I revised the crowdsourced dungeon that we made last week. A lot of stuff got rewritten but I tried to keep people's ideas mostly intact. Probably more useable as a dungeon, but also less interesting as an artifact.
goblinpunch.blogspot.com/2024/12/blue...
goblinpunch.blogspot.com/2024/12/blue...
Blue Sky Temple, Revised
Last week, we made a crowdsourced dungeon on Bluesky. It was fun and it yielded a cool dungeon with a lot of good ideas mashed together. ...
goblinpunch.blogspot.com
December 8, 2024 at 11:53 PM
I revised the crowdsourced dungeon that we made last week. A lot of stuff got rewritten but I tried to keep people's ideas mostly intact. Probably more useable as a dungeon, but also less interesting as an artifact.
goblinpunch.blogspot.com/2024/12/blue...
goblinpunch.blogspot.com/2024/12/blue...