Author | Lightnews

grotesperado @grotesperado.bsky.social · Aug 30

give your balls a tug.

grotesperado @grotesperado.bsky.social · Aug 11

“i mourn for those who never knew you.”

i love you, boss. forever my chunky monkey. forever daddy’s boy. ❤️

grotesperado @grotesperado.bsky.social · Aug 11

i pick you up tomorrow to bring you back home. i cleared off the shelf on our side of the bed and have your favorite toys and blanket waiting for you.

i know it’s gonna break me to hold you again but i’m ready to have you home again. because home isn’t home without you there. it never will be.

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grotesperado @grotesperado.bsky.social · Aug 11

i know i carry you with me wherever i go now. i know im not alone because your mom, brothers, tios, and grandma and grandpa have been the arms when i needed to be held up.

but i miss you, bubba bear. more than i could ever put into words. this pit in my stomach and heart eat away at me.

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grotesperado @grotesperado.bsky.social · Aug 11

no amount of reading or advice could prepare me for the actuality of this type of grief. the big things to the littlest details. there are moments where i swear i can feel your head on my lap. or you by my side whenever i walk.

but then i look down and there is just nothing.

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grotesperado @grotesperado.bsky.social · Aug 11

i don’t wanna annoy anyone by continuing to bring you up. i feel guilt even tho i know i have no reason to.

it’s hard to find enjoyment in my regular conversations as much as i love the foundation of people i have in my life and i know it’s due to my grief.

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grotesperado @grotesperado.bsky.social · Aug 11

been over a week since i had to say goodbye to my best friend.

i’ve lost people in my life and don’t get me wrong - those hurt like hell. but losing what is my best friend, my companion, my child essentially? a whole other level of grief.

all i wanna do is talk about you, bubba bear.

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grotesperado @grotesperado.bsky.social · Aug 1

[final]

Boss, thank you for letting me be the one to hold your paw as a puppy during a thunderstorm. thank you for letting me put a lucha mask on you to pop your tio’s in the group chat. thank you for letting me be your dad. i love you forever, bubba bear.

“someday, i’ll walk you in the park.”

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grotesperado @grotesperado.bsky.social · Aug 1

[6/?]

i’ll never be able to repay what my boy did for me. but i spent every day loving him and taking care of him when he needed me most. i wouldn’t trade these past ten years for anything. not even to rid the hurt i feel right now.

because at least i got to be the companion to the best boy.

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grotesperado @grotesperado.bsky.social · Aug 1

[5/?]

i know in the end, i did what was right. but it doesn’t make it hurt less. but i know that’s unfortunately the beauty in a beloved pet. you love them so dearly knowing that one day, sooner than any would like, that you’d have to say goodbye.

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grotesperado @grotesperado.bsky.social · Aug 1

[4/?]

yesterday was the scheduled day for him to be out to sleep. the hardest day of my entire life. a decision you never want to make but a decision that is only right and fair to your companion. i did not want my boy to enter suffering territory and that path seemed to be on the approach quickly.

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grotesperado @grotesperado.bsky.social · Aug 1

[3/?]

i don’t feel super comfortable sharing his entire prognosis but at the root of it, the strong belief is cushings disease. for about two years, i believe he lived with this. we managed, with medications and supplements. inevitably tho, it just got progressively worse.

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grotesperado @grotesperado.bsky.social · Aug 1

[2/?]

from whatever choices in life that I made, good or bad, he was there. he saved my life, i’m not ashamed to say that. gave me a purpose to wake up. a reason to come home. eventually, i figured my shit out and we were in a more stable home.

then he started getting sick.

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grotesperado @grotesperado.bsky.social · Aug 1

just a place to put my feelings.

[1/?]

from the day my boxer, Boss was born, I knew my place as companion to the best boy. we grew together. I learned the true responsibility of taking care of something that needed me to while also learning how to take care of myself.

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grotesperado @grotesperado.bsky.social · Jul 24

i’ve been waiting YEARS for that “hulk hogan dead” headline.

how we’re pulling up to the celebration of the death of that pickled sausage, bandana brained, cheeto dick, brother dood jack BOZO.

fuck him. rot in piss.

grotesperado @grotesperado.bsky.social · Feb 4

we got ben grimm sad in a trench coat in fantastic four.

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grotesperado @grotesperado.bsky.social · Feb 2

man. imagine being jimmy uso right now.

grotesperado @grotesperado.bsky.social · Jan 29

as a big boy myself, i fucking hate when big guys say women/people don’t find them attractive and make it a whole pity party thing because they are big guys.

no my man, it’s because you have a shit personality and shit confidence. stop taking your trauma and placing it on others. 🫡

grotesperado @grotesperado.bsky.social · Jan 24

lemme tell the entire field something. if you let the cogar brothers walk out of the mecca with those beautiful tag team titles on march 9th (tickets available now)… we’re gonna have a problem.

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grotesperado @grotesperado.bsky.social · Jan 22

think we gotta stop censoring ourselves when discussing horrific shit. “unaliving”, “yahtzee’s”, etc.

fuck that, man. i get people wanna keep their platforms while corpos and algorithms don’t like those words but it’s desensitizing things further.

call a spade a spade and a nazi a fucking nazi.

grotesperado @grotesperado.bsky.social · Jan 21

getting reeeeeeal fucking tired of hearing about bipartisanship with nazis.

david lynch just passed but said it best with how i’m viewing life now: fix your heart or die. plain and simple.

Chuck Schumer @schumer.senate.gov · Jan 20

It is time to look to the future.

The challenges that face America are many and great.

The Senate must respond with resolve, bipartisanship, and fidelity to the working and middle class of this country.

Reposted by grotesperado

John Carpenter @thehorrormaster.bsky.social · Jan 17

I got to be friends with David Lynch when we were both at Universal years ago. A very kind man, he was a fan of Bob's Big Boy. So was I. I'm going to miss him. R.I.P. David.

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grotesperado @grotesperado.bsky.social · Jan 16

rest in piece to my favorite weirdo film uncle. i look forward to having that afterlife cigarette with ya for the one time. ❤️

grotesperado @grotesperado.bsky.social · Jan 13

nothing brings me more joy than when the enemy iron fist tries punching his way into my mister fantastic only to get bounced on. shouts to abella anderson 🫡

grotesperado @grotesperado.bsky.social · Jan 9

you don’t know how long i’ve been bugging struggs to book legion of rot.

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