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Bong Joon Heaux @hatingongodot.bsky.social · 1h

Fucking hell guys, ONCE AGAIN my enemies have sent a pestilence and plague into my house, into my bed, into my streams, into my streets, into my drink, into my bread, upon my cattle, on my sheep, upon my oxen in the field, into my dreams, into my sleep, until I break, until I yield 🙄 #Mondays #Ugh

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Bong Joon Heaux @hatingongodot.bsky.social · 1d

Melinoe getting into weird beef with the singer in an all-girl rock band and the singer writing antagonistic music clearly all about her while calling her obsessed for saying so and Melinoe herself can buy a poster of the group for her bedroom... our girl speedrunning Midwestern lesbian drama

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Bong Joon Heaux @hatingongodot.bsky.social · 1d

Every time an Asian person shows up on Love Is Blind I feel our rights crumbling like a sandcastle in the rising tide. Two more seasons and I'll awake one day, somehow already building a railroad, and it will be because of Netflix

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Bong Joon Heaux @hatingongodot.bsky.social · 2d

I can only imagine these people's agents sent them an email that was like "Subj: Pride and Prejudice (...)" and they were like "DONE I'LL TAKE IT" without clicking through. Idk how the film industry works but any attempt to correct this vision will be promptly ignored

Bong Joon Heaux @hatingongodot.bsky.social · 2d

It's crazy how this made for streaming movie has like, Real Actors in this. I need to check the state of the British economy during this time I can't explain this cast list any other way

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Bong Joon Heaux @hatingongodot.bsky.social · 2d

We're watching Pride and Prejudice and Zombies (2016) for our movie night's Horror Season. Partner has been in a state of grief for about an hour and a half now. "Why can't we watch the original? The one with the giant pig balls" they keep beseeching

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Bong Joon Heaux @hatingongodot.bsky.social · 3d

I feel people straining and poorly performing it is how it was meant to be performed, according to God probably

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Bong Joon Heaux @hatingongodot.bsky.social · 3d

I like when people are tasked with singing the national anthem and they're like "I think I'll put my own little spin on this ;)" It sounds awful every time which is personally important to me

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Bong Joon Heaux @hatingongodot.bsky.social · 4d

This is like not even a joke, I woke up starving and feeling like shit and was like "Heugh whashappen" and they were like "Idk I tried to wake you a few times but you kept ignoring me" and I was like next time ignore me ignoring you

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Bong Joon Heaux @hatingongodot.bsky.social · 4d

I slept for almost 13 hours bc my partner wanted to try a new position and it knocked me out until my morning alarm went off

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Bong Joon Heaux @hatingongodot.bsky.social · 5d

"Alright then, what's all this?" In a thick British accent is probably the worst thing my partner has allowed me to say with my hand in their pants without immediately demanding that I retract my hand. I've broken their spirit

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Bong Joon Heaux @hatingongodot.bsky.social · 5d

I'll be like "Ask me about something 300 years after that, preferably involving broad trends of US films or music" and they'll be like "What's US" and I'll be like "Never mind I'm deranged, please direct me to the nearest manual labor that needs doing"

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Bong Joon Heaux @hatingongodot.bsky.social · 5d

Partner was like "What if you said you were a seer?" Gonna be honest. Do NOT have the strongest grasp of history. I'll be like "I can predict the future" and they'll be like "What will happen in the distant year of 1685" and I'll be like "FUCK."

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Bong Joon Heaux @hatingongodot.bsky.social · 5d

Something I think about way too much is how if I went back in time my dumb ass would be like "I'll invent the INTERNET (or other tech) and be RICH" only to not know how to do that bc I don't really know what it is. Phones? Idk. Electricity? Idk. Shit isn't working out for me. Day labor it is then

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Bong Joon Heaux @hatingongodot.bsky.social · 6d

Killed this ant that came in the kitchen and the next day it came right back but it was holding a needle. Killed it again and it came back the next day wearing a cape and then I noticed I had a giant HP bar labeled KITCHEN BEHEMOTH and I was like man cmon dont call me that

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Bong Joon Heaux @hatingongodot.bsky.social · 6d

"Do you at least listen to haunting acoustic guitar/hurdygurdy songs about the whispers on the mountains" No he only lets us listen to neo-conservative music about the south rising again. He kind of sucks to worship idk why everyone digs him so much tbh

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Bong Joon Heaux @hatingongodot.bsky.social · 6d

Yeah I do worship a horned Elder God of the forest but it isn't as sexy as a lot of online people tend to think. For one thing he's like, cartoonishly racist. Misgenders the fuck out of his followers. Not homophobic but only for men bc he thinks it makes sense not to want to be with the weaker sex

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Bong Joon Heaux @hatingongodot.bsky.social · 6d

My friends, including the bride, beg me to let the wedding proceed but I do not heed their words. "CAN'T HEAR YOU GUYS OVER THE STENCH OF BROKE IN HERE" I will yell at the groom's general direction

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Bong Joon Heaux @hatingongodot.bsky.social · 6d

People will stop smiling after the first 5 min and start threatening to call the cops after an hour. I don't care, I will say, you just do not have enough

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Bong Joon Heaux @hatingongodot.bsky.social · 6d

If you're from one of those cultures where the groom has to "bribe" the bride's family/bridal party to be allowed to wed her? Do not let me be part of this activity. I will straight up not let the wedding proceed. I don't give a shit. You don't have enough.

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Bong Joon Heaux @hatingongodot.bsky.social · 9d

"RANK YOUR TOP FIVE CUISINES" I'm ensouled I don't do that sorry "TIER LIST OF BEST COUNTRIES" the light of the universe shines in me and I am made of love so no I won't do what stupid shit you're yapping about

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Bong Joon Heaux @hatingongodot.bsky.social · 9d

I don't think it's fair to judge out of context lyrics without taking into consideration delivery, the rest of the song, y'know, context. But Jesus christ dude

‼️THIS COULD BE ABOUT ANYTHING‼️

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Bong Joon Heaux @hatingongodot.bsky.social · 10d

I hate the shit that's like "haha coworker humor is this" "coworker music is that" blahblahblah but it is deeply funny how many of my coworkers are into Taylor Swifr and Harry Potter. What's with that

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Bong Joon Heaux @hatingongodot.bsky.social · 10d

Two days ago my partner had to drive me to work so I didn't take the bus and yesterday morning when I walked to the stop the crossing guard I always nod to went "There you are!" And I was like HELL YEAH MAN THERE *YOU* ARE!! :D

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Bong Joon Heaux @hatingongodot.bsky.social · 10d

It's super empty on the train today which rocked bc I could turn to everyone I saw daily but never spoke to and go "Man the train is EMPTY today" and they were all like "Omfg yeah what's up with that!" I love talking to strangers

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