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headlineoftheday.bsky.social
Headline of the Day
@headlineoftheday.bsky.social
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The antidote to current affairs, sharing the sillier side of the news.

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Headline of the Day @headlineoftheday.bsky.social · Jan 5
HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE! 🎉

This has been my first full year on Bluesky and it's been a cracking one for headlines - which is just as well really, since current affairs were definitely in need of an antidote!

Here's my customary roundup of the most popular stories of the year - enjoy! 🧵
headlineoftheday.bsky.social
Love in a cold climate: Winter Olympic village runs out of condoms after three days.
www.theguardian.com/sport/2026/f...
Love in a cold climate: Winter Olympic village runs out of condoms after three days
Free condoms for competitors at the Winter Olympics have run out within a record-breaking three days
www.theguardian.com
February 14, 2026 at 10:07 PM
headlineoftheday.bsky.social
Fukushima's radioactive hybrid terror pig boom was driven by amorous mothers. (Thanks @john3ners.bsky.social!)
www.theregister.com/2026/02/11/a...
Study: Domestic sows sped Fukushima hybrid spread
: Genetic study finds domestic pigs' year-round breeding sped gene flow into wild boar
www.theregister.com
February 13, 2026 at 9:30 PM
headlineoftheday.bsky.social
Break in the grey as Aberdeen sees sunshine for the first time in 21 days.
www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2026...
Break in the grey as Aberdeen sees sunshine for the first time in 21 days
Glimpse of sun after weeks of unrelenting rain marks end of longest sunless period in area since records began
www.theguardian.com
February 12, 2026 at 11:33 PM
headlineoftheday.bsky.social
Cockerel served with an Asbo after complaint from anonymous neighbour.
metro.co.uk/2026/02/09/c...
Cockerel served with an Asbo after complaint from anonymous neighbour
'You don't move to the countryside and expect people to get rid of their animals,' the chicken's owner said.
metro.co.uk
February 9, 2026 at 10:16 PM
headlineoftheday.bsky.social
Horse on tracks causes disruption to train services.
www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...
Horse on tracks causes disruption to train services
Network Rail says staff removed the horse, and normal services have resumed.
www.bbc.co.uk
February 7, 2026 at 10:34 PM
headlineoftheday.bsky.social
Waymo admits robotaxis are “guided” by humans in the Philippines.
cybernews.com/news/waymo-o...
Waymo admits overseas human agents help guide robotaxis, alarming US lawmakers
Waymo revealed it uses live human agents overseas to assist self-driving cars, prompting US lawmakers to warn of cybersecurity and national security risks.
cybernews.com
February 6, 2026 at 10:18 PM
Reposted by Headline of the Day
isabelrogers.bsky.social
After this swam into my brain last night (unbidden, if you will, but clearly there are neural pathways that divert here at the slightest nudge), it occurred to me that a few people may not have experienced it. Put that hot drink down. Now. Yes before you start reading.
It's the old newspaper cutting about the jubremony at the libary. Headline "The memories live on" I did copy and paste the text but it's a bit hit and miss because of the old photocopy and I don't have time now to go through all the delightfully made up words it hallucinates. You'll get the drift. CROWLAND'S Silver Jubilee committee was finally wound p on Thurs day evening with presen tatios cerem e Ib rary. The jubilee fand described by chairman Frank Parnell as 'one of the finest efforts incoln- shire' fremony rary. The jubilee fund, described by chairman Frank Parnell as "one if the libraryaony aremony The jubremony at the lib- rary. Tremony at remony at the library. Thrremony at tremony at the liremoay at the lib raremony at the library. The described by funi chairman Frank Premony rremony at the liremony aremony at the libremony atremony at tre mony at the library. Tremorremony at the lib- The jubilee described by chairman Frank Parnell as 'one of the finest efforts in Lincoln- shire', fa be latched onto a through ball. Although be by the I managed to ba I home for second week to leave the field injured, this time suffering eye trouble. The winning goal was another 25-yard shot again from Blackstones' central defender- coming from their second chance of the game. from Boys, had a good debut.
February 5, 2026 at 7:48 AM
headlineoftheday.bsky.social
Central Florida man caught in ‘sexual performance’ with vacuum, deputies say.
www.clickorlando.com/news/local/2...
Central Florida man caught in ‘sexual performance’ with vacuum, deputies say
An Oviedo man was taken into custody this week after deputies said he was spotted in a "sexual performance" with a vacuum cleaner.
www.clickorlando.com
February 5, 2026 at 9:21 PM
headlineoftheday.bsky.social
Cannibalistic jellyfish with a vanishing anus are invading Venice.
www.lbc.co.uk/article/cann...
Cannibalistic jellyfish with a vanishing anus are invading Venice | LBC
Venice is being invaded by cannibalistic jellyfish from the Atlantic that are threatening the delicate balance of the lagoon's ecosystem.
www.lbc.co.uk
February 4, 2026 at 9:51 PM
headlineoftheday.bsky.social
Buddhist monks 'stashed drugs, porn, sex toys, penis pump and escort list' in temple. (Thanks @john3ners.bsky.social!)
www.dailystar.co.uk/news/weird-n...
Buddhist monks 'stashed drugs, sex toys, penis pump and escort list' in temple
WARNING, EXPLICIT CONTENT: Four Buddhist monks have been arrested after the raid at the Phrom Sunthon Monastery in Chonburi, Thailand. Some monks allegedly tested positive for meth
www.dailystar.co.uk
February 3, 2026 at 11:00 PM
headlineoftheday.bsky.social
Fire fears, accidents and emu attacks among safety concerns at Cold War bunker.
www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...
Fire fears, accidents and emu attacks among safety concerns at Cold War bunker
Volunteers restoring a former Edinburgh nuclear bunker are worried someone will be hurt because of safety issues.
www.bbc.co.uk
February 2, 2026 at 9:53 PM
headlineoftheday.bsky.social
Man, 24, goes to hospital with ‘WW1 bomb stuck in rectum’.
metro.co.uk/2026/02/01/m...
Man, 24, goes to hospital with 'WW1 bomb stuck in rectum'
Doctors removed a 16cm World War I shell from the man's anus.
metro.co.uk
February 1, 2026 at 9:22 PM
headlineoftheday.bsky.social
Officers clear suspect chicken of fowl play.
www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...
Officers clear suspect chicken of fowl play in Peterborough
The officers are praised for their egg-cellent work reuniting the chicken with its owner.
www.bbc.co.uk
January 31, 2026 at 10:54 PM
Reposted by Headline of the Day
privateeyenews.bsky.social
Life imitates Eye

L: Joke from the last issue (21 Jan 2026)
R: A tapestry of headlines this morning
January 30, 2026 at 11:12 AM
headlineoftheday.bsky.social
A cow has been filmed using tools for the first time ever, stunning scientists.
www.sciencefocus.com/news/cow-too...
A cow has been filmed using tools for the first time ever, stunning scientists | BBC Science Focus Magazine
A very clever cow has learned to use sticks to scratch herself, the first time sophisticated tool use has been seen in livestock
www.sciencefocus.com
January 28, 2026 at 10:38 PM
headlineoftheday.bsky.social
Sex club accidentally saved by listed status for old sawmill.
www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...
Sex club accidentally saved by listed status for old sawmill
Developers had sought to turn the old City Sawmill in Port Dundas into about 60 flats, only for the proposals to be blocked.
www.bbc.co.uk
January 27, 2026 at 9:36 PM
headlineoftheday.bsky.social
Leicestershire pensioner fined for 'shaking snotty hand' out of van window.
www.leicestermercury.co.uk/news/real-li...
Pensioner fined for 'shaking snotty hand' out of van window
He claimed the council mistakenly believes he was throwing away a cigarette
www.leicestermercury.co.uk
January 26, 2026 at 9:56 PM
headlineoftheday.bsky.social
Nuclear bunker topples from crumbling cliff.
www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...
Nuclear bunker in East Yorkshire topples from crumbling cliff
The brick building, on the East Yorkshire coast, is now sitting at the foot of a collapsed cliff.
www.bbc.co.uk
January 25, 2026 at 9:30 PM
headlineoftheday.bsky.social
‘Keep your hands off Rays Bottom!’ Protest over housing estate plans on farmland in Walmer, near Deal.
www.kentonline.co.uk/deal/news/ke...
‘Keep your hands off Rays Bottom! We severely object to these plans’
Protesters held a large banner demanding “Keep your hands off Rays Bottom” as they voiced their anger over plans for a new housing estate.
www.kentonline.co.uk
January 24, 2026 at 10:32 PM
headlineoftheday.bsky.social
B.C. driver caught speeding in car ‘held together with duct tape and wishful thinking’: police.
www.ctvnews.ca/vancouver/ar...
B.C. driver caught speeding in car ‘held together with duct tape and wishful thinking’: police
Police in British Columbia say a 22-year-old driver was pulled off the road after he was caught speeding in a vehicle that was “held together with duct tape and wishful thinking.”
www.ctvnews.ca
January 22, 2026 at 9:51 PM
headlineoftheday.bsky.social
Scientists mimicking the Big Bang accidentally turn lead into gold.
www.independent.co.uk/news/science...
Scientists mimicking the Big Bang accidentally turn lead into gold
The physicists made an unexpected breakthrough
www.independent.co.uk
January 21, 2026 at 9:35 PM
headlineoftheday.bsky.social
Alaska art student arrested for eating another student’s AI-generated art in protest.
www.artnews.com/art-news/new...
Alaska Art Student Arrested for Eating Another Student’s AI-Generated Art in Protest
A University of Alaska student was charged with a misdemeanor for eating another student's AI-generated art in protest.
www.artnews.com
January 20, 2026 at 10:06 PM
headlineoftheday.bsky.social
Chip wreck! Thousands of chips wash ashore on beach.
www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...
Chip wreck! Thousands of chips wash ashore near Eastbourne
The chips washed up in Sussex after shipping containers containing
www.bbc.co.uk
January 19, 2026 at 10:24 PM
headlineoftheday.bsky.social
Ski jumpers injecting acid into penis’ to gain advantage sees officials implement measuring plan. (Thanks @djdamien.bsky.social!)
www.news.com.au/sport/olympi...
www.news.com.au
January 18, 2026 at 9:42 PM
headlineoftheday.bsky.social
Driver calls 911 to complain slow snow plows may make him late for work.
www.collingwoodtoday.ca/police-beat/...
Driver calls 911 to complain slow snow plows may make him late for work
A driver called 911 to advise police to 'send an officer' because snow plows were driving too slowly on Highway 404, which may make him late for work ... again
www.collingwoodtoday.ca
January 17, 2026 at 9:33 PM