Headlines McMuffin
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headlinesmc.bsky.social
Headlines McMuffin
@headlinesmc.bsky.social
4.7K followers 4.5K following 3.8K posts
Satire. Today’s headlines and opinion with a 1940’s tabloid look. Road to 4,744 followers. “Life is unfair, but sometimes its unfair in your favor.” - Chuck Klosterman Slava Ukraini 🇺🇦
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headlinesmc.bsky.social
Headlines McMuffin @headlinesmc.bsky.social · 14d
Now that would be a hot ticket.
Banner news headline - Hollywood gives advice to Melania Trump: Dish the truth on Donald. You’ll earn millions at the box office and win an Oscar.
headlinesmc.bsky.social
Isn’t Bondi from Florida? There must be something in the water in Florida.
Banner news headline - Pam Bondi asks for a critique of her hearing performance and is told she was annoying, which she interprets as a woman named Anne Noying. Like President Trump, she doesn’t handle criticism well.
February 12, 2026 at 9:01 PM
Reposted by Headlines McMuffin
bluthrunthru.bsky.social
TY @schultziepie.bsky.social
They are evil personified!!!

@headlinesmc.bsky.social
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February 12, 2026 at 4:15 PM
headlinesmc.bsky.social
Inviting a few friends to Pam’s jarring moment of clarity.
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Banner news headline - Pam Bondi bumps her head and suddenly apologizes to Democrats and Epstein victims, not realizing what she had become.
February 12, 2026 at 4:10 PM
Reposted by Headlines McMuffin
maddow.bsky.social
In a normal government, this results in the resignation of multiple cabinet officials (Transportation, Defense, and Homeland Security), and the closure or (at least!) radical reorg of the cartoonishly incompetent agency at the center of it: CBP.

www.nytimes.com/2026/02/11/u...
February 12, 2026 at 3:18 PM
headlinesmc.bsky.social
A moment of clarity from vulnerable Pam. It’s not expected to last.
Banner news headline - a report that Pam Bondi bumped her head and suddenly apologized to Democrats and Epstein victims. The moment of clarity is not expected to last.
February 12, 2026 at 3:34 PM
headlinesmc.bsky.social
Cosmo ftw 🥳
February 12, 2026 at 1:40 PM
headlinesmc.bsky.social
Said by nobody: “I want to be just like Pam Bondi.”
Banner news headline - law schools are reporting unusually high student withdrawals in the aftermath of Pam Bondi’s train wreck of a hearing.
February 12, 2026 at 1:00 PM
Reposted by Headlines McMuffin
ronfilipkowski.bsky.social
Given the razor-thin majority, this is a very significant decision whatever it is going to be.
February 11, 2026 at 8:04 PM
headlinesmc.bsky.social
What a miserable, joyless existence.
Banner news headline - Pam Bondi steps back and looks at herself and realizes she has “become Stephen Miller.”
February 11, 2026 at 8:25 PM
headlinesmc.bsky.social
The jobs report overshadowed by this boondoggle…
Banner news headline - in a typo-blunder, the FAA shuts down El Paso air traffic for 10 days, not 10 minutes.
February 11, 2026 at 3:42 PM
headlinesmc.bsky.social
Maybe he was taking the family to Tom Sawyer Island at Disneyland?
Banner news headline - a report that Howard Lutnick, in perhaps the gaffe of the century, brought his family to Jeffrey Epstein’s island. One can only wonder how his wife looks back on that.
February 11, 2026 at 12:56 PM
Reposted by Headlines McMuffin
claynobles.bsky.social
75 years ago a young actor sang on national TV in Spanish and was among the most watched shows for many years. Americans didn’t lose their minds or boycott the network for airing it. In fact…I Love Lucy is still loved by millions and still airing in reruns. Thanks Desi Arnez for leading the way.
February 11, 2026 at 4:42 AM
Reposted by Headlines McMuffin
headlinesmc.bsky.social
Most people show their worst after affiliating with Trump (hello Kari Lake). Lutnick showed his worst BEFORE he teamed up with Trump.
Banner news headline - Howard Lutnick, the commerce secretary, explains his thoughts on Epstein: he thought Epstein was a cool guy in the mold of High Hefner.
February 10, 2026 at 9:20 PM
headlinesmc.bsky.social
Most people show their worst after affiliating with Trump (hello Kari Lake). Lutnick showed his worst BEFORE he teamed up with Trump.
Banner news headline - Howard Lutnick, the commerce secretary, explains his thoughts on Epstein: he thought Epstein was a cool guy in the mold of High Hefner.
February 10, 2026 at 9:20 PM
headlinesmc.bsky.social
Well, the country would be united…
Banner news headline - Trump holds back blue state funding in his Divided States of America, seeing no gain from uniting the country.
February 10, 2026 at 4:09 PM
headlinesmc.bsky.social
The dogs yes, kids no policy.
Banner news headline - health officials like Oz and Kennedy muddle through a measles outbreak, but make sure you get your dog it’s vaccination shots, like rabies.
February 10, 2026 at 1:11 PM
headlinesmc.bsky.social
Ford once made a car called the Model T. That seems appropriate now - T for Trump, old and from America’s past.
Banner news headline - the White House has run out of controversies to hatch, and is worried the focus will return to Trump’s health.
February 9, 2026 at 8:22 PM
Reposted by Headlines McMuffin
headlinesmc.bsky.social
Standing by for Trump’s latest over-the-top post on the latest self-invented issue.
Banner news headline - after Venezuela, Greenland, and even Bad Bunny, the White House struggles to find an issue that matters.
February 9, 2026 at 3:29 PM
headlinesmc.bsky.social
Standing by for Trump’s latest over-the-top post on the latest self-invented issue.
Banner news headline - after Venezuela, Greenland, and even Bad Bunny, the White House struggles to find an issue that matters.
February 9, 2026 at 3:29 PM
headlinesmc.bsky.social
He’s so busy with his ballroom it’s a wonder he has time to focus on the Olympics or the Super Bowl halftime show.
Banner news headline - annoyed by all of the snow, the president recommends moving the Winter Olympics to July; perhaps in Florida.
February 9, 2026 at 12:52 PM
headlinesmc.bsky.social
Well, he’s just always in the middle of things.
Banner news headline - the White House denies that JD Vance accidentally tripped Olympic skier Lindsey Vonn, leading to her tragic fall in Italy.
February 8, 2026 at 8:14 PM
headlinesmc.bsky.social
Some polling on Mr. “They’re eating the dogs, they’re eating the cats.”
Banner news headline - a poll shows Americans agreeing that Trump brings out the best of the nation’s worst, including worst racial tolerance, a lack of compassion for others, our worst instincts.
February 8, 2026 at 3:40 PM
headlinesmc.bsky.social
If Trump hears that Gavin Newsom is at the game he’ll fly out there in a heartbeat.
Banner news headline - with Vance stuck over in Italy and Trump unwilling to fly to San Francisco, its Super Bowl LX minus 47.
February 8, 2026 at 1:03 PM
Reposted by Headlines McMuffin
ronfilipkowski.bsky.social
Trump’s advisors told him he was going to be booed mercilessly, so he isn’t going this year and he’s canceling the F-22 flyover too.
February 7, 2026 at 3:00 PM
headlinesmc.bsky.social
Dee Voidov-Skruples, we’ve seen her many times…
Banner news headline - Trump comments in his racist meme, and immediately gets his information wrong. He’s told by staff he is devoid of scruples and immediately deflects, asking about a woman, Dee Voidov-Skruples.
February 7, 2026 at 8:09 PM