These gummies are making me thirsty.

This email could’ve been an interpretive dance.

Unclutch my Eggo at once, you heathen!

Don’t you dare say “Happy Holidays” to me. I don’t mind the holidays part. I just refuse to accept your unsolicited happiness.

Help! I’ve fallen and I don’t want to get up.

It turns out peppermint mochas won’t fix my personality. Sorry, everyone.

Honestly, I’d be a little worried if the existential dread just wasn’t there all of a sudden.

Ok, having 50 followers is kinda different from 3k. Who would’ve thought?

Don’t forget to let the tea steep for 3-5 minutes and add a splash of milk before spilling.

Fisting doesn’t mean being in a fistfight?

I never actually felt welcome at the Hotel California.

Hi. I’m back. People are weird, so I want to be more deliberate about which ones I interact with on here. It’ll still be more of the same emotional baggage and pop punk references that you never asked for.