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Simon J

@hobnobking.bsky.social

250 followers 140 following 2.2K posts

One of those late middle-aged men with a large synthesiser collection you were warned about. Widower. Single Dad. Excelling at both. Cymraeg

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Simon J @hobnobking.bsky.social · 1h

Probably because nobody on here seems interested in his high volume substack output.

Simon J @hobnobking.bsky.social · 1h

I can see Pete. He has a substack on which he opines about the state of America. Most of his contributions on here consist of unnecessary corrections and hair splitting.

Simon J @hobnobking.bsky.social · 1h

PARKLIFE!

Simon J @hobnobking.bsky.social · 3h

I grew up in a small Welsh speaking village and didn't speak English daily until I went to Manchester. Most things came as a shock TBH.

Simon J @hobnobking.bsky.social · 3h

I remember picking one of these up in an indoor market in Manchester when I was at uni and asking the stallholder what it was and what to do with it.

Simon J @hobnobking.bsky.social · 3h

Yup. My mistake.

Simon J @hobnobking.bsky.social · 3h

My God, won't someone think of the black Britons.

Simon J @hobnobking.bsky.social · 3h

Simple. There was no internet and thus no internet bros, bro.

Elon Musk pretending to understand or care again.

Simon J @hobnobking.bsky.social · 3h

I can't remember. To me this was a bizarre TV advert made famous in the UK by a man called Clive James. I don't remember seeing or eating a Wendy's in my life.

Simon J @hobnobking.bsky.social · 3h

Seriously!? You're engineering marginal gains into a cloche?

Simon J @hobnobking.bsky.social · 3h

One for the kids...

three elderly women are sitting at a table with a hamburger and the words where 's the beef

ALT: three elderly women are sitting at a table with a hamburger and the words where 's the beef

media.tenor.com

Simon J @hobnobking.bsky.social · 5h

It's the second floor of a Jehovah's Witness resource centre now.

I shit you not.

Simon J @hobnobking.bsky.social · 5h

Being a Welsh speaker also inadvertently allowed me to discover where the local brothel's back door was when I overheard a conversation.

Of course, I was only 13 and went straight home and asked my visiting nan what a brothel was.

So that worked out well.

Simon J @hobnobking.bsky.social · 5h

I like small town churchy people, it's just a shame I'm not churchy. But they welcome me in with my fruit and pretentiously shaped home baked bread every year without commenting on my heathen status. It's my Welsh Speaker access all areas pass.

Simon J @hobnobking.bsky.social · 7h

Nobody I know lives in a culinary desert but y'know, lol.

Simon J @hobnobking.bsky.social · 8h

Y'know, due to the whole 'think your boobs bigger' thing, he's not passing my 'we need more serious people in politics' test. But time will tell.

Simon J @hobnobking.bsky.social · 8h

Just as everyone knows that most Americans can't point to America on a map of the world, don't own a passport, and are married to their cousin, apparently.

Bone idle cliché mongering is such fun

Simon J @hobnobking.bsky.social · 8h

And hash browns are quintessentially British aren't they?

Simon J @hobnobking.bsky.social · 8h

I was going to say, that's not one breakfast, that's a sharing platter.

Simon J @hobnobking.bsky.social · 9h

Hey, I've got major heart issues and had two devices implanted and other surgeries. Do exactly what you're told now, because you'll be handsomely rewarded for it when the time comes to recover from your operation. All the luck in the world to you mate.

Simon J @hobnobking.bsky.social · 9h

Harvest Festival at my local church and I reckon they've managed to cram a quarter of Heinz's annual output of tinned soup into a small stone built Welsh chapel.

Simon J @hobnobking.bsky.social · 9h

Like I did. And doing it in front of their friends. So let's unpack Farage on a daily basis.

Simon J @hobnobking.bsky.social · 9h

has the added piquancy of being a word lifted from the black vocabulary, first made meaningless and then repurposed to be ripe with unspoken meaning and derision. A word for fellow proponents of Farage's schtick to safely rally round. Everyone should be throwing these people out of their houses

Simon J @hobnobking.bsky.social · 9h

people like him used to call a white man married to a black woman when we were first married, but it came from exactly the same place. I rarely hear the word woke used or referenced by someone who isn't some species of bigot. They like it more than their old favourite 'multi-cultural' because it

Simon J @hobnobking.bsky.social · 9h

Last month the friend of a friend implied that my falling in love with and marrying my wife - a black woman, was an expression of my woke politics. And then he kept on talking. And talking and talking, hoping someone would back him up. Granted it was an improvement to what