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Barbie Koelker

@idigress.net

590 followers 410 following 450 posts

Tech Marketer for Hire. Nerd. Caffeinated Cat Lady. DTLA. 🌸🌴🩵

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Barbie Koelker @idigress.net · 24d

We cannot fight for any of our freedoms without first having the freedom of speech.

Whatever you care about, your ability to fight for it just got weaker.

Stand up, speak up. Speak with your wallet, speak with your vote, speak with your actions, and speak with your words as loud as you can.

Barbie Koelker @idigress.net · Sep 13

Address people how they introduce themselves. It’s that simple.

Barbie Koelker @idigress.net · Aug 26

If your blood boils over rainbows, let it boil for real. Life’s too short for your nonsensical hate. Go be angry about people going hungry and wealth disparity. Leave love out of your rage.

Barbie Koelker @idigress.net · Aug 18

Fahrenheit is for humans.
Celsius is for water.
Kelvin is for planets.

Barbie Koelker @idigress.net · Aug 16

Barbie Koelker @idigress.net · Aug 16

150 days of Penny being such a brave and strong fighter. Thank you for every bonus day you give me, little lady. 🥹 You are so patient and trusting through the supplements, insulin, and trips to the vet’s office. I love you so so much. 🩷🐾

Barbie Koelker @idigress.net · Aug 11

I just tried to label a column as “2024 Q5”. It should be 2026 Q1. I’m losing years and gaining quarters over here. 😅

Barbie Koelker @idigress.net · Aug 5

When an ad licenses a song you haven’t heard in forever, and now you’ve gone down a rabbit hole. 🕳️

youtu.be/hqthspSKZV8?...

Loituma "Ievan polkka"

YouTube video by kantelar

Barbie Koelker @idigress.net · Aug 3

To that end, I’ve always loved marketing tech that empowers other creators. Tomorrow, I’ll dive into a new project to help a tech company that is on a mission to empower musicians. 🎶 Squee! 🥳

Barbie Koelker @idigress.net · Aug 3

Marketing is a beautiful, albeit chaotic blend of art & science. We are creators & analysts, seeking to resonate with our audiences to amplify growth.

Barbie Koelker @idigress.net · Aug 1

Ahh, yes. Having to wrap my ankles and pop Tylenol arthritis as a teen because we had to run a mile in under 8 minutes in cool weather if we wanted full points…

Barbie Koelker @idigress.net · Aug 1

19 weeks ago, Penny landed in the hospital. Tonight, she's purring away and grooming happily. I love you Penny, and I'm so so proud of how strong you are. 🥹

#SeniorCats #CatMom #Cats

Barbie Koelker @idigress.net · Aug 1

There's an elaborate google spreadsheet involved with multiple tabs. Each month, I start a new tab and get emotional. She made it another month!

#CatMom

Barbie Koelker @idigress.net · Aug 1

Ever since Penny came home from the hospital, I've been tracking her food intake down to the gram, taking note what percentage of her calories have come from kibble, wet food, and treats.

#SeniorCats

Barbie Koelker @idigress.net · Aug 1

I was approached for help.
I gave a proposal.
I was scoffed at.
I adapted the proposal.
I was ghosted.
I was approached again.
I wished them well but declined.
I was scolded.
I closed my laptop.
I laughed.

Know your worth.
Protect your boundaries.
Keep your peace.

Barbie Koelker @idigress.net · Jul 27

To the people who drive with their music so loud that it can be clearly and loudly heard from 200 feet away and through thick glass … what’s your favorite brand of hearing aids?

Also, is your car super glued together? Or do you have to tighten a bunch of parts after every few songs?

Barbie Koelker @idigress.net · Jul 27

Say what you will about #adtech. The most egregious false advertising I routinely come across is our cat Luffy laying belly up in the hallway. It’s a lie. It’s always a lie.

Barbie Koelker @idigress.net · Jul 26

Absolutely brilliant. 😂

Gwyneth Paltrow Is Astronomer’s ‘Temporary Spokesperson’ After CEO, HR Chief Resign Following Coldplay Kiss Cam Scandal

Gwyneth Paltrow joins in on the Astronomer Coldplay kissing scandal as the company's 'temporary spokesperson.'

Barbie Koelker @idigress.net · Jul 25

LinkedIn needs a vomit react for when a toxic company posts they are hiring.

Barbie Koelker @idigress.net · Jul 21

Thank you to all the amazing vet staff who helped save her. Thank you to everyone who has wished her well. I’m so thankful for every bonus day we have with her. 🙏

Barbie Koelker @idigress.net · Jul 21

4 months ago today, Penny landed in the hospital. She fought her way through DKA, a blood transfusion, & so much more.

17 weeks ago today, Penny had surgeries to remove her spleen — and a massive tumor on it — and get a feeding tube.

Today, Penny is a purry, sassy, nearly 17 year old lady.

Barbie Koelker @idigress.net · Jul 14

“We have a pet friendly office!”
“Is it cat friendly?”
“…”
“…”
“I’ll find out!”
“Okay, thanks!”
“… thanks for applying to …”

🤷‍♀️😹

Barbie Koelker @idigress.net · Jul 10

When it’s one of those days, so your spouse sends you a video of the pastry options at the grocery store. 🥹

Barbie Koelker @idigress.net · Jul 8

I had no idea this version existed, nor how much I needed to hear it. 😭 open.spotify.com/track/7oyoi2...

Stillman · The Middle · Song · 2023

open.spotify.com

Barbie Koelker @idigress.net · Jul 7

It’s so strange. I was born in 1985, and yet here I am, living in 1984. 🤔😔