Barbie Koelker
@idigress.net
Tech Marketer for Hire. Nerd.
Caffeinated Cat Lady.
DTLA. 🌸🌴🩵
Caffeinated Cat Lady.
DTLA. 🌸🌴🩵
Her Meowjesty, Princess Penny, crossed over the rainbow bridge yesterday. Penny, you are so loved. 🤍 🌈 🐾
Thank you for walking up to me in an alley in 2009. Thank you for being such a wonderful little sister to Munchkin, a big sister to Luffy, a momma to Vivi & Sanji, and a grandma to Lily.
Thank you for walking up to me in an alley in 2009. Thank you for being such a wonderful little sister to Munchkin, a big sister to Luffy, a momma to Vivi & Sanji, and a grandma to Lily.
November 9, 2025 at 9:10 PM
Her Meowjesty, Princess Penny, crossed over the rainbow bridge yesterday. Penny, you are so loved. 🤍 🌈 🐾
Thank you for walking up to me in an alley in 2009. Thank you for being such a wonderful little sister to Munchkin, a big sister to Luffy, a momma to Vivi & Sanji, and a grandma to Lily.
Thank you for walking up to me in an alley in 2009. Thank you for being such a wonderful little sister to Munchkin, a big sister to Luffy, a momma to Vivi & Sanji, and a grandma to Lily.
Fahrenheit is for humans.
Celsius is for water.
Kelvin is for planets.
Celsius is for water.
Kelvin is for planets.
August 18, 2025 at 6:29 PM
Fahrenheit is for humans.
Celsius is for water.
Kelvin is for planets.
Celsius is for water.
Kelvin is for planets.
150 days of Penny being such a brave and strong fighter. Thank you for every bonus day you give me, little lady. 🥹 You are so patient and trusting through the supplements, insulin, and trips to the vet’s office. I love you so so much. 🩷🐾
August 16, 2025 at 11:01 PM
150 days of Penny being such a brave and strong fighter. Thank you for every bonus day you give me, little lady. 🥹 You are so patient and trusting through the supplements, insulin, and trips to the vet’s office. I love you so so much. 🩷🐾
I just tried to label a column as “2024 Q5”. It should be 2026 Q1. I’m losing years and gaining quarters over here. 😅
August 11, 2025 at 8:37 AM
I just tried to label a column as “2024 Q5”. It should be 2026 Q1. I’m losing years and gaining quarters over here. 😅
When an ad licenses a song you haven’t heard in forever, and now you’ve gone down a rabbit hole. 🕳️
youtu.be/hqthspSKZV8?...
youtu.be/hqthspSKZV8?...
Loituma "Ievan polkka"
YouTube video by kantelar
youtu.be
August 5, 2025 at 6:51 AM
When an ad licenses a song you haven’t heard in forever, and now you’ve gone down a rabbit hole. 🕳️
youtu.be/hqthspSKZV8?...
youtu.be/hqthspSKZV8?...
Marketing is a beautiful, albeit chaotic blend of art & science. We are creators & analysts, seeking to resonate with our audiences to amplify growth.
August 3, 2025 at 8:39 PM
Marketing is a beautiful, albeit chaotic blend of art & science. We are creators & analysts, seeking to resonate with our audiences to amplify growth.
Ever since Penny came home from the hospital, I've been tracking her food intake down to the gram, taking note what percentage of her calories have come from kibble, wet food, and treats.
#SeniorCats
#SeniorCats
August 1, 2025 at 8:29 AM
Ever since Penny came home from the hospital, I've been tracking her food intake down to the gram, taking note what percentage of her calories have come from kibble, wet food, and treats.
#SeniorCats
#SeniorCats
To the people who drive with their music so loud that it can be clearly and loudly heard from 200 feet away and through thick glass … what’s your favorite brand of hearing aids?
Also, is your car super glued together? Or do you have to tighten a bunch of parts after every few songs?
Also, is your car super glued together? Or do you have to tighten a bunch of parts after every few songs?
July 27, 2025 at 9:44 AM
To the people who drive with their music so loud that it can be clearly and loudly heard from 200 feet away and through thick glass … what’s your favorite brand of hearing aids?
Also, is your car super glued together? Or do you have to tighten a bunch of parts after every few songs?
Also, is your car super glued together? Or do you have to tighten a bunch of parts after every few songs?
Say what you will about #adtech. The most egregious false advertising I routinely come across is our cat Luffy laying belly up in the hallway. It’s a lie. It’s always a lie.
July 27, 2025 at 7:59 AM
Say what you will about #adtech. The most egregious false advertising I routinely come across is our cat Luffy laying belly up in the hallway. It’s a lie. It’s always a lie.
Absolutely brilliant. 😂
Gwyneth Paltrow Is Astronomer’s ‘Temporary Spokesperson’ After CEO, HR Chief Resign Following Coldplay Kiss Cam Scandal
Gwyneth Paltrow joins in on the Astronomer Coldplay kissing scandal as the company's 'temporary spokesperson.'
variety.com
July 26, 2025 at 5:08 AM
Absolutely brilliant. 😂
4 months ago today, Penny landed in the hospital. She fought her way through DKA, a blood transfusion, & so much more.
17 weeks ago today, Penny had surgeries to remove her spleen — and a massive tumor on it — and get a feeding tube.
Today, Penny is a purry, sassy, nearly 17 year old lady.
17 weeks ago today, Penny had surgeries to remove her spleen — and a massive tumor on it — and get a feeding tube.
Today, Penny is a purry, sassy, nearly 17 year old lady.
July 21, 2025 at 6:13 AM
4 months ago today, Penny landed in the hospital. She fought her way through DKA, a blood transfusion, & so much more.
17 weeks ago today, Penny had surgeries to remove her spleen — and a massive tumor on it — and get a feeding tube.
Today, Penny is a purry, sassy, nearly 17 year old lady.
17 weeks ago today, Penny had surgeries to remove her spleen — and a massive tumor on it — and get a feeding tube.
Today, Penny is a purry, sassy, nearly 17 year old lady.
“We have a pet friendly office!”
“Is it cat friendly?”
“…”
“…”
“I’ll find out!”
“Okay, thanks!”
“… thanks for applying to …”
🤷♀️😹
“Is it cat friendly?”
“…”
“…”
“I’ll find out!”
“Okay, thanks!”
“… thanks for applying to …”
🤷♀️😹
July 14, 2025 at 6:47 PM
“We have a pet friendly office!”
“Is it cat friendly?”
“…”
“…”
“I’ll find out!”
“Okay, thanks!”
“… thanks for applying to …”
🤷♀️😹
“Is it cat friendly?”
“…”
“…”
“I’ll find out!”
“Okay, thanks!”
“… thanks for applying to …”
🤷♀️😹
When it’s one of those days, so your spouse sends you a video of the pastry options at the grocery store. 🥹
July 10, 2025 at 4:08 AM
When it’s one of those days, so your spouse sends you a video of the pastry options at the grocery store. 🥹
I had no idea this version existed, nor how much I needed to hear it. 😭 open.spotify.com/track/7oyoi2...
The Middle
Stillman · The Middle · Song · 2023
open.spotify.com
July 8, 2025 at 4:42 AM
I had no idea this version existed, nor how much I needed to hear it. 😭 open.spotify.com/track/7oyoi2...
It’s so strange. I was born in 1985, and yet here I am, living in 1984. 🤔😔
July 7, 2025 at 9:00 PM
It’s so strange. I was born in 1985, and yet here I am, living in 1984. 🤔😔
Just finished submitting all the scores and notes for the award category I was judging for the US Travel ESTOS Awards.
Several solid campaigns, some fuzzy impact numbers, and one campaign that made me cry it was so good. Good luck to everyone!
Several solid campaigns, some fuzzy impact numbers, and one campaign that made me cry it was so good. Good luck to everyone!
July 7, 2025 at 5:23 AM
Just finished submitting all the scores and notes for the award category I was judging for the US Travel ESTOS Awards.
Several solid campaigns, some fuzzy impact numbers, and one campaign that made me cry it was so good. Good luck to everyone!
Several solid campaigns, some fuzzy impact numbers, and one campaign that made me cry it was so good. Good luck to everyone!
BRB gonna add the ability to successfully negotiate with a spoiled senior cat — who can’t hear, has high expectations, and imposes ever-shifting priorities & preferences — to my resume. 😅
PS: Penny is eating wet food and even a bit of kibble today (after her treats-only protest yesterday)
PS: Penny is eating wet food and even a bit of kibble today (after her treats-only protest yesterday)
July 7, 2025 at 3:24 AM
BRB gonna add the ability to successfully negotiate with a spoiled senior cat — who can’t hear, has high expectations, and imposes ever-shifting priorities & preferences — to my resume. 😅
PS: Penny is eating wet food and even a bit of kibble today (after her treats-only protest yesterday)
PS: Penny is eating wet food and even a bit of kibble today (after her treats-only protest yesterday)
One year ago right now, EMTs were plucking me off the pavement after I crashed an electric scooter and was pretty banged up. A couple hospitals, a bunch of stitches, a metal plate & 10 screws, and lots of patience later, I’ve since walked nearly 600 miles. Thanks, science! 😅🙌🏼
July 4, 2025 at 9:53 PM
One year ago right now, EMTs were plucking me off the pavement after I crashed an electric scooter and was pretty banged up. A couple hospitals, a bunch of stitches, a metal plate & 10 screws, and lots of patience later, I’ve since walked nearly 600 miles. Thanks, science! 😅🙌🏼
Cat treat: next to water dish
Penny: yells at me, face 1 inch from mine
Me: gently holds cat treat dish in front of her
Penny: finally, I can eat!
Penny: yells at me, face 1 inch from mine
Me: gently holds cat treat dish in front of her
Penny: finally, I can eat!
July 4, 2025 at 5:52 PM
Cat treat: next to water dish
Penny: yells at me, face 1 inch from mine
Me: gently holds cat treat dish in front of her
Penny: finally, I can eat!
Penny: yells at me, face 1 inch from mine
Me: gently holds cat treat dish in front of her
Penny: finally, I can eat!
Interviewed for a dream job today. Penny’s glucose crashed during the call.
Smearing syrup on a cat’s gums while still telling your life story is just proof of managing multiple priorities at once, right?
Smearing syrup on a cat’s gums while still telling your life story is just proof of managing multiple priorities at once, right?
July 3, 2025 at 10:20 PM
Interviewed for a dream job today. Penny’s glucose crashed during the call.
Smearing syrup on a cat’s gums while still telling your life story is just proof of managing multiple priorities at once, right?
Smearing syrup on a cat’s gums while still telling your life story is just proof of managing multiple priorities at once, right?
100 days of hopes, fears, pleas to the universe, cuddles, blood draws, medicine, and more.
June 29, 2025 at 6:47 AM
100 days of hopes, fears, pleas to the universe, cuddles, blood draws, medicine, and more.
Shot glass of hot sauces & ghost pepper salt time! (Yay migraines)
June 27, 2025 at 4:39 AM
Shot glass of hot sauces & ghost pepper salt time! (Yay migraines)
Caturday stroll with Princess Penny. 👑😻☀️🌴
June 22, 2025 at 12:03 AM
Caturday stroll with Princess Penny. 👑😻☀️🌴
When your diabetic kitty’s glucose has been too erratic today, so you’re nervous to fall asleep. 😬
Thankful my Apple Watch will yell at me if her sugar dips again? Definitely.
Still setting alarms throughout the night? Yup. 😩
Thankful my Apple Watch will yell at me if her sugar dips again? Definitely.
Still setting alarms throughout the night? Yup. 😩
June 20, 2025 at 9:26 AM
When your diabetic kitty’s glucose has been too erratic today, so you’re nervous to fall asleep. 😬
Thankful my Apple Watch will yell at me if her sugar dips again? Definitely.
Still setting alarms throughout the night? Yup. 😩
Thankful my Apple Watch will yell at me if her sugar dips again? Definitely.
Still setting alarms throughout the night? Yup. 😩
Tired? Check.
Cat sleeping with her head on my arm? Check.
Sitting here forever unable to sleep myself? Check.
Cat sleeping with her head on my arm? Check.
Sitting here forever unable to sleep myself? Check.
June 19, 2025 at 8:49 AM
Tired? Check.
Cat sleeping with her head on my arm? Check.
Sitting here forever unable to sleep myself? Check.
Cat sleeping with her head on my arm? Check.
Sitting here forever unable to sleep myself? Check.