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Hibiki ☆

@ikitsuvee.bsky.social

13 followers 310 following 54 posts

🌈 Genderfluid Idiot • Any/All ✨ Trauma causes me to act strangely, don’t like me? block & move on! :3 🌸 Anti-fascist Queer Autistic POC 🏳️‍⚧️ Banner drawn by me! 🦊🐱 ΘΔ

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Hibiki ☆ @ikitsuvee.bsky.social · 1d

I am not sure why ur here or how u found my account.. Welcome to my lil space to find me.

I don’t use social media much, u can find me on discord, roblox, or more.

iKitsuvee is my username.

I’m a recently out genderfluid person, 22, a mixed POC & a furry. I love to draw & write abt ocs.

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Hibiki ☆ @ikitsuvee.bsky.social · 13h

I’m not rly in a good headspace 2 talk rn but I’ve been a LOT happier since I started figuring myself out, especially accepting that I’m trans & getting on estrogen + cutting off my ex friends who called me a zoo, pedo, and trender over all of this when I’m neither of those things.

Hibiki ☆ @ikitsuvee.bsky.social · 14h

im also not using ur identity anymore, im being myself here. we have a lot of similarities which is why i found comfort in ur identity around ppl who forced me into being somepony i am not. The us government also wants trans ppl & poc dead, it is terrifying rn.

Hibiki ☆ @ikitsuvee.bsky.social · 14h

ur wrong on that, i have had so many death threats + more from my ex transmed friends.. its a lot to get into. i cant dm on this app as i don’t have the stuff to verify my age & cant get it from my caretaker as she is away rn. Im trying to be my own person. Its hard bc of my trauma. dm me on discord

Hibiki ☆ @ikitsuvee.bsky.social · 1d

Suicide hotline isn’t picking up my call. Feeling crushed. Hearts in my chest as I am trying to use my coping skills. Why am i not brave enough to ask my friends for help? Why do i beg to an online forum that won’t find my post? Others rarely listen to me bc y would they? Im so scared.

Hibiki ☆ @ikitsuvee.bsky.social · 1d

Having a breakdown again✨ im NOT OK I NEED HELP IDK WHAT I NEED BUT I NEED HELP PLZ SOMEONE TELL ME IM GONNA BE OK

Hibiki ☆ @ikitsuvee.bsky.social · 1d

Being this vulnerable is just getting me hurt in the end isn’t it? I have always been easily manipulated & ik admitting that is dangerous but I just don’t care im self destructive & just am begging for help

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Hibiki ☆ @ikitsuvee.bsky.social · 1d

I am not a bad person but I have made so many mistakes i can’t run from. I need help. I’m begging for help. I need kindness, but i think i am too sensitive for this world

I want to be free from this pain. It hurts so much i just want to make it stop. Help me pls

Hibiki ☆ @ikitsuvee.bsky.social · 1d

I don’t fully regret it, bc i wouldn’t have accepted that i’m trans if i wasn’t forced out by faking who i was.
yeah, i shouldn’t have done that but it saved my life. It gave me hope. I learnt to express myself for the furst time after years of abuse & trauma & being lost. I found myself

Hibiki ☆ @ikitsuvee.bsky.social · 1d

Am i worthy of life? I have lied so much in my life. even if changing things now & my actions were caused by trauma, my ex friends want me dead. What i did was wrong ik, but it helped me discover myself & i have changed/am changing.

Hibiki ☆ @ikitsuvee.bsky.social · 1d

Why do they want me to die? What did i do to deserve this? i don’t want anyone to be suffering. If thats what u want, then pls tell me why i need to know i need to understand

Hibiki ☆ @ikitsuvee.bsky.social · 1d

My cat keeps meowing she won’t stop & i feel like im gonna cry im so overwhelmed i need help i need a hug i need someone to just be nice to me everything hurts so much my lungs can’t handle breathing well my inhaler is almost fucming empty & don’t got money for picking up new prescription

Hibiki ☆ @ikitsuvee.bsky.social · 1d

I just want to exist why am i not allowed to exist??

Hibiki ☆ @ikitsuvee.bsky.social · 1d

I don’t want to wake up in the morning. I don’t want to be awake but I can’t sleep right now. I don’t feel safe. I’m begging for help, what am i supposed to do? How do i feel okay? I can’t enjoy my hobbies. I can’t do anything other than vent out this pain onto ppl who likely don’t care

Hibiki ☆ @ikitsuvee.bsky.social · 1d

No one deserves this pain, no one deserves to suffer. Why is mental pain so much WORSE than the beating i received growing up?
I had my arm broken by my grandfather as a child, that is no whereas painful as my PTSD symptoms.

Meds don’t work, tried ‘em all. Therapy is helpful.. yet

Hibiki ☆ @ikitsuvee.bsky.social · 1d

I am still suffering, me getting better isn’t removing the amount of stress & pain i go tho or those who hold my past mistakes against me to make my life more difficult. trauma rewires ur brain, how do u get better when u were broken down to nothing, everything ripped away from u?

Hibiki ☆ @ikitsuvee.bsky.social · 1d

I deserve to exist but i don’t want to in world we live in.

I need help. I have begged for years & was only met with ppl treating me like a monster bc i asked in unhealthy ways or not even directly. how do i make this all stop?
I only ever want to bring joy to others, my symptoms make it hard

Hibiki ☆ @ikitsuvee.bsky.social · 1d

At least i tried today.. not even 1 year ago i could walk outside to the forest with no difficulties, i don’t understand wtf happened to me.

I just wish i could end this suffering. I just want connection & peace of mind. I want to end my suffering

Hibiki ☆ @ikitsuvee.bsky.social · 1d

Tried to talk a walk outside today on my own without my partner here. I could not do it, i walked a quarter of the block b4 turning around & going home bc of my anxiety. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I want irl friends SO MUCH but if I can’t handle being away from my room ???

Hibiki ☆ @ikitsuvee.bsky.social · 1d

Roblox moderation in a few pics:

Hibiki ☆ @ikitsuvee.bsky.social · 1d

My therapist told me a few months ago, I dissociate so much that it’s difficult for me to remember much. Today, I noticed I already forgot if I slept or not. ☆

Hibiki ☆ @ikitsuvee.bsky.social · 1d

Other accounts that i own

If it’s not listed, that is not me!!

Instagram: iKitsuvee
Youtube: iKitsuvee
Tiktok: iKitsuvee
Tumblr: iKitsuvee
Roblox: iKitsuvee
Krita: iKitsuvee
Nazi app called Twitter: I will die b4 i ever support that platform

Hibiki ☆ @ikitsuvee.bsky.social · 1d

music.youtube.com/watch?v=LBP_...

“When you're born a shadow in everybody's mind,
Beauty is just a cancer we leave behind.
Things would be different if I were a daughter”

I relate to this 1 bc of reasons that aren’t the actual meaning of the lyrics, for me its gender dysphoria

Edmund Temper

YouTube video by Amigo the Devil - Topic

music.youtube.com

Hibiki ☆ @ikitsuvee.bsky.social · 1d

starting new concept art for of OC Spade Reimur, she works for a political “activist” group called Big Buck to take out the rich “for dinner”

Hibiki ☆ @ikitsuvee.bsky.social · 1d

Criticism is welcome, i want to improve! I had trouble with the necklace + hat the most

I used references + I had some help forming the pose!! I accidentally merged layers to do an overlay & closed the app bc of a bug b4 undoing, so i couldn’t add some details i wanted :(

Hibiki ☆ @ikitsuvee.bsky.social · 1d

I drew friend’s sona in her Roblox fit! #Regretevator

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