Michael Cera looks like he smells of owl.

He also kind of looks like an owl.

If this was X, the right would be breaking down into a plethora of conspiracy theories.

#owlgate #michaelcera #conspiracytheories

From now on, I will be saving each of my orgasms purely to release them in synchronisation with the final breaths of each, individual member of the royal family.

Britain, of course.

Why are elbows?

#realquestions #forreal

You, me, your boyfriend, rusty Honda Civic, midnight Gremlins drive-in viewing, salted popcorn, hole in the bag, forgot to turn off stove, drive home, turn it off, grab extra coat, it’s cold, back to car, left keys in house, back in, there’s a cat in the house, who’s cat? Who knows? Eat cat, sleep.

Do you think Musk will send a Tesla to Mars?

With him inside?

And stay there forever?

It’s these kind of dreams that we should be striving to make reality.

#elonmusk #twentytwentyfive

Got handed a flat pint by an alien creature with four arms, kindly asked for a new one, told to fuck off by them and the man with one humongous eye standing next to me and was kicked back out into the harsh sands of Tatooine

Sorry, Glasgow City Centre

#glasgow #firstpost