Jared Jekyll
@jaredjekyll.bsky.social
A they/them who likes to eat, sleep and breathe
I always wondered why she was called JK Rowling. Turns out, it's short for Jiant Kunt.
April 20, 2025 at 5:45 AM
I always wondered why she was called JK Rowling. Turns out, it's short for Jiant Kunt.
*me turning 37 soon*
"Hey, next time we hook up can you please blow my back IN?"
"Hey, next time we hook up can you please blow my back IN?"
April 13, 2025 at 6:11 AM
*me turning 37 soon*
"Hey, next time we hook up can you please blow my back IN?"
"Hey, next time we hook up can you please blow my back IN?"
A: I'm thinking of an Icelandic band that sings in gibberish.
B: Bjork?
A: Close, but no Sigur.
B: Bjork?
A: Close, but no Sigur.
February 20, 2025 at 3:45 AM
A: I'm thinking of an Icelandic band that sings in gibberish.
B: Bjork?
A: Close, but no Sigur.
B: Bjork?
A: Close, but no Sigur.
Don't let anyone tell you your dreams are too big, or too impossible. Some days, I'll unfollow 6 people in a row.
February 14, 2025 at 3:08 AM
Don't let anyone tell you your dreams are too big, or too impossible. Some days, I'll unfollow 6 people in a row.
God must have like 1000 Grammy's by now.
February 4, 2025 at 2:59 AM
God must have like 1000 Grammy's by now.
I don't smoke, but my dream heroin rotation...
January 25, 2025 at 4:39 AM
I don't smoke, but my dream heroin rotation...
Prednisone tastes so bad, we still don't know if it's addictive.
January 12, 2025 at 12:51 AM
Prednisone tastes so bad, we still don't know if it's addictive.
Everytime a tech-bro dies,
a Redbull gets its wiiings.
a Redbull gets its wiiings.
January 4, 2025 at 10:15 PM
Everytime a tech-bro dies,
a Redbull gets its wiiings.
a Redbull gets its wiiings.
A perk of living alone is using my morning wood as a phone stand to watch YouTube.
January 2, 2025 at 1:32 AM
A perk of living alone is using my morning wood as a phone stand to watch YouTube.
The Mapother Christmas Carol, starring Thomas Ebenezer Cruise.
December 19, 2024 at 10:40 AM
The Mapother Christmas Carol, starring Thomas Ebenezer Cruise.
Trib me once, shame on you.
Trib me twice, we're lesbians.
Trib me twice, we're lesbians.
December 18, 2024 at 4:58 AM
Trib me once, shame on you.
Trib me twice, we're lesbians.
Trib me twice, we're lesbians.
I used to be heaps into impact play, but now I prefer times new roman showers.
December 15, 2024 at 3:26 AM
I used to be heaps into impact play, but now I prefer times new roman showers.
Dear future self:
Don't date that Ball & Chain, because you won't be able to tell anyone about them.
Don't date that Ball & Chain, because you won't be able to tell anyone about them.
December 8, 2024 at 10:06 PM
Dear future self:
Don't date that Ball & Chain, because you won't be able to tell anyone about them.
Don't date that Ball & Chain, because you won't be able to tell anyone about them.
Mistletoe? More like KISSletoe!
Don't @ me.
Don't @ me.
December 2, 2024 at 1:32 AM
Mistletoe? More like KISSletoe!
Don't @ me.
Don't @ me.
ATTENTION:
Neurodiverse people.
Take a page from the book of AI, and drink more water!
Neurodiverse people.
Take a page from the book of AI, and drink more water!
November 30, 2024 at 4:49 AM
ATTENTION:
Neurodiverse people.
Take a page from the book of AI, and drink more water!
Neurodiverse people.
Take a page from the book of AI, and drink more water!
Boys are Dogs, Girls are Cats, and Non-Binary people are that little, blue mouse thing from CatDog
November 26, 2024 at 12:14 AM
Boys are Dogs, Girls are Cats, and Non-Binary people are that little, blue mouse thing from CatDog
No piece of media captures my ASD experience better than the commercials for 5 Gum.
November 24, 2024 at 5:05 AM
No piece of media captures my ASD experience better than the commercials for 5 Gum.
I'm always DTF.
Destined to flourish ✌️🌺
Destined to flourish ✌️🌺
November 22, 2024 at 9:57 AM
I'm always DTF.
Destined to flourish ✌️🌺
Destined to flourish ✌️🌺
Borat on suicide watch:
I'm going to take MY LIFE!
I'm going to take MY LIFE!
November 21, 2024 at 4:07 AM
Borat on suicide watch:
I'm going to take MY LIFE!
I'm going to take MY LIFE!
When a circus worker gets fired, is it from a cannon?
November 20, 2024 at 12:05 PM
When a circus worker gets fired, is it from a cannon?