Author | Lightnews

Jackson Holland

@jaxholland.bsky.social

670 followers 400 following 1K posts

“YOUR MUSTACHE IS CROOKED!” - Macho Man Randy Savage “No one wants to see your dead ass playing a keyboard.” - Diamond David Lee Roth

Posts Media Videos Starter Packs

Pinned

Jackson Holland @jaxholland.bsky.social · Nov 15

Yeah, I’m the guy who keeps scrawling “NO!” over the Prime Meridian in every atlas.

Jackson Holland @jaxholland.bsky.social · 5h

In-N-Out is an easy one…their burgers are wildly overrated and their fries are like slivers of styrofoam. Hard pass.

Jackson Holland @jaxholland.bsky.social · 10h

25 years living in Texas, I’ve never gotten any mailers from a Republican candidate for a statewide race.

Mailbox had 2 from John Cornyn this week.

Someone might be a touch worried about reelection.

Jackson Holland @jaxholland.bsky.social · 1d

I remember that shit now…ugh, once I tell Mom that, she’ll never set foot there again (she doesn’t go to Chick-fil-A and Hobby Lobby for same reasons)

1 2

Jackson Holland @jaxholland.bsky.social · 1d

I would watch this shit out of this.

Jackson Holland @jaxholland.bsky.social · 1d

My mom’s biggest supporter when I was growing up was always my dad and vice versa. They rooted for each other to be as successful as possible. I think that was one of the most positive impacts their relationship had on my life.

You root the hardest for the people you love.

Jackson Holland @jaxholland.bsky.social · 1d

I believe it after that experience. All they need to do now is start selling flowers at the airport.

2 1 18

Jackson Holland @jaxholland.bsky.social · 1d

My mom hates shopping at the Publix in her town for that very reason. I went with her there once when I was home for Christmas, and she was like “it’s so fake. Leave me alone and let me get my damn broccoli in peace.”

1 2 110

Jackson Holland @jaxholland.bsky.social · 3d

All puppets should be edible.

Jackson Holland @jaxholland.bsky.social · 5d

I can’t remember whether or not the Monkees’ “Daydream Believer” is one of those songs that’s actually about nuclear Armageddon.

Jackson Holland @jaxholland.bsky.social · 6d

It was a 3 minute voicemail and I deleted it without listening because it was a fucking 3 minute voicemail.

I don’t care if I got an extra hour today. That shit is 2 minutes and 40 seconds longer than any voicemail should ever be.

Jackson Holland @jaxholland.bsky.social · 6d

I’m just over here, radiating cold shafts of broken glass.

Jackson Holland @jaxholland.bsky.social · 7d

I guess we are staying in the timeline where Biff got the Sports Almanac.

Jackson Holland @jaxholland.bsky.social · 7d

And to think I was going to try to learn how to poach an egg tomorrow morning…

Jackson Holland @jaxholland.bsky.social · 7d

LaNorris Sellers is destined to be a New York Jet.

Jackson Holland @jaxholland.bsky.social · 7d

Omg it is a dream that Trump would give the SEC the “USFL Treatment”.

Jackson Holland @jaxholland.bsky.social · 7d

I keep having to mute that Amazon commercial with that shit-ass suckfest of a Collective Soul song because I’m not gonna get the Manilow Complex from that.

Collective Soul is the worst band to ever come out of Georgia. And that’s saying something because the B-52s exist.

Jackson Holland @jaxholland.bsky.social · 8d

Fuck these fucking ACC refs

Jackson Holland @jaxholland.bsky.social · 8d

Duke is just a better team than Clemson.

Simple as that.

Jackson Holland @jaxholland.bsky.social · 8d

They should make York Peppermint Panties but I imagine the peppermint would trigger a burning rather than a cooling…like douching with mouthwash.

I need to re-examine my parchments.

Jackson Holland @jaxholland.bsky.social · 8d

This is some of the worst QB play I’ve seen in my life. Dude has llama brain.

Jackson Holland @jaxholland.bsky.social · 8d

I find it tremendously amusing that someone has a “wrote a song about a treatment for Crohn’s Disease” in their discography.

Jackson Holland @jaxholland.bsky.social · 9d

He knows what day it is. It’s *his day*.

Black cat staring into your soul on Halloween of all fucking days omg wtf

Jackson Holland @jaxholland.bsky.social · 9d

Happy Halloween! #LEGO #StarWars

LEGO Death Troopers and a Giant Jack o lantern

1 2

Jackson Holland @jaxholland.bsky.social · 10d

Came here for the ratio…was not disappointed.

Jackson Holland @jaxholland.bsky.social · 11d

I have a feeling Texas St fans are watching this game like “ya know Oklahoma St, if you want Kinne, you can have him.”