Jay Dee
@jayaredeez.bsky.social
Michelin-starred chef. Grammy-winning pop phenom. 666 with a princess streak.
Do you think my Lyft driver minds that I’m Duolingo-ing in his back seat?
January 17, 2026 at 11:15 PM
Do you think my Lyft driver minds that I’m Duolingo-ing in his back seat?
“Look, I’m a capitalist…”
Girl, shut the fuck up.
Girl, shut the fuck up.
January 16, 2026 at 3:41 PM
“Look, I’m a capitalist…”
Girl, shut the fuck up.
Girl, shut the fuck up.
Woke up at 3:50 am with no hope of returning to sleep. Guess a combination of amphetamine salts, caffeine, and spite is going to propel me though the day 🥲 🫠
January 16, 2026 at 9:58 AM
Woke up at 3:50 am with no hope of returning to sleep. Guess a combination of amphetamine salts, caffeine, and spite is going to propel me though the day 🥲 🫠
I fear my quads may never be the same after doing handstand pushups for the first time in 18 months.
January 15, 2026 at 4:17 PM
I fear my quads may never be the same after doing handstand pushups for the first time in 18 months.
Find myself saying, “I don’t care, I’m not in the mood for this content right now,” to myself in response to texts I don’t feel like answering.
January 15, 2026 at 4:12 PM
Find myself saying, “I don’t care, I’m not in the mood for this content right now,” to myself in response to texts I don’t feel like answering.
After haranguing her for 47 days, my sister-in-law is finally pucking around and finding out what Heated Rivalry is all about.
January 15, 2026 at 2:24 AM
After haranguing her for 47 days, my sister-in-law is finally pucking around and finding out what Heated Rivalry is all about.
The United States is a subsidiary of the Trump Organization, i.e., corrupt, embarrassing, and janky as hell.
January 14, 2026 at 3:18 PM
The United States is a subsidiary of the Trump Organization, i.e., corrupt, embarrassing, and janky as hell.
Last night I dreamed I was smoking cigarettes with Margaret Atwood on her porch while discussing the state of America, Octavia Butler, Ursula K. Le Guin, and Scientology.
January 14, 2026 at 12:25 PM
Last night I dreamed I was smoking cigarettes with Margaret Atwood on her porch while discussing the state of America, Octavia Butler, Ursula K. Le Guin, and Scientology.
I’ve come to the conclusion that everyone has gone utterly and irrevocably insane.
January 13, 2026 at 8:55 PM
I’ve come to the conclusion that everyone has gone utterly and irrevocably insane.
There’s a beefy daddy at the gym benching 365 lbs. and I’m tempted to ask him to put me in a headlock and crush my skull like a ripe cantaloupe.
January 11, 2026 at 7:05 PM
There’s a beefy daddy at the gym benching 365 lbs. and I’m tempted to ask him to put me in a headlock and crush my skull like a ripe cantaloupe.
Remember when misspelling “potato” was enough to end a political career?
January 9, 2026 at 6:01 PM
Remember when misspelling “potato” was enough to end a political career?
We’re at the stage of fascism where I’m going to try to grow a beard.
January 9, 2026 at 1:17 PM
We’re at the stage of fascism where I’m going to try to grow a beard.
The biggest losers you know care about others’ immigration status.
January 8, 2026 at 9:39 PM
The biggest losers you know care about others’ immigration status.
“Mambo No. 5” is playing at the gym.
January 8, 2026 at 4:16 PM
“Mambo No. 5” is playing at the gym.
Well. I’ve completed all six entries in the “Game Changers” series and now need something new and aggressively gay to hyper fixate on.
January 6, 2026 at 11:07 PM
Well. I’ve completed all six entries in the “Game Changers” series and now need something new and aggressively gay to hyper fixate on.
Is this the Scariest Sunday ever or have I just completely fried my GABA and dopamine receptors over the last two weeks?
January 4, 2026 at 11:04 PM
Is this the Scariest Sunday ever or have I just completely fried my GABA and dopamine receptors over the last two weeks?
Yesterday, when I went to my MedSpa, my doctor offered this radio frequency procedure which is useful in strengthening “pelvic floor and sphincter muscles.”
Initially, I was like, “I’m too young for this, but thank you.”
…And now I realize he clocked the fuck out of me lmao.
Initially, I was like, “I’m too young for this, but thank you.”
…And now I realize he clocked the fuck out of me lmao.
January 3, 2026 at 9:40 PM
Yesterday, when I went to my MedSpa, my doctor offered this radio frequency procedure which is useful in strengthening “pelvic floor and sphincter muscles.”
Initially, I was like, “I’m too young for this, but thank you.”
…And now I realize he clocked the fuck out of me lmao.
Initially, I was like, “I’m too young for this, but thank you.”
…And now I realize he clocked the fuck out of me lmao.
The last 72 hours have been absolutely insane.
December 29, 2025 at 5:25 AM
The last 72 hours have been absolutely insane.
Rewatching “Mad Men” and Jon Hamm consistently makes me weak in the knees, JFC.
December 29, 2025 at 12:04 AM
Rewatching “Mad Men” and Jon Hamm consistently makes me weak in the knees, JFC.
Merry “Heated Rivalry” Eve Eve
December 24, 2025 at 2:44 PM
Merry “Heated Rivalry” Eve Eve
I fear that when I just pulled into the garage to park, my neighbor overheard the gay hockey smut emanating from my vehicle 🤷🏼♂️
December 16, 2025 at 4:46 PM
I fear that when I just pulled into the garage to park, my neighbor overheard the gay hockey smut emanating from my vehicle 🤷🏼♂️
Happy/Horny “Heated Rivalry” day to all who celebrate.
December 12, 2025 at 1:02 PM
Happy/Horny “Heated Rivalry” day to all who celebrate.
Me to ChatGPT: hey, are you mad at me?
December 11, 2025 at 3:07 PM
Me to ChatGPT: hey, are you mad at me?
All of my feeds are dominated by Sabrina Carpenter resisting fascism and fictional hockey players having hot, gay sex. I actually feel hope.
December 3, 2025 at 6:05 AM
All of my feeds are dominated by Sabrina Carpenter resisting fascism and fictional hockey players having hot, gay sex. I actually feel hope.
I fear that I’m a 37 year old man who finds himself shipping two fictional, gay hockey players.
December 1, 2025 at 10:01 PM
I fear that I’m a 37 year old man who finds himself shipping two fictional, gay hockey players.