𝓤𝓷𝓬𝓵𝓮 𝓓𝓲𝓷𝓰𝓵𝓮𝓷𝓾𝓽 𝓙𝓻
@jbergh.bsky.social
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Chaos Goblin
My pronouns are Was/were I no longer exist.
“SIDmey taH, ’ach jItaH je.”
#nebraska #gobigred #lincoln #huskers #husker-nation
#newskies #signalboost
Chaos Goblin
My pronouns are Was/were I no longer exist.
“SIDmey taH, ’ach jItaH je.”
#nebraska #gobigred #lincoln #huskers #husker-nation
#newskies #signalboost
I don’t care who you are, if you stick your dick in my potato salad I am taking your jetski out for a midnight rendezvous.
February 2, 2026 at 3:44 AM
I don’t care who you are, if you stick your dick in my potato salad I am taking your jetski out for a midnight rendezvous.
The Inner machinations of my mind are an enigma.
February 1, 2026 at 4:53 AM
The Inner machinations of my mind are an enigma.
Lost the article, a new study finds that women spend more time thinking about what men are thinking about than men actually spend thinking.
January 28, 2026 at 8:06 PM
Lost the article, a new study finds that women spend more time thinking about what men are thinking about than men actually spend thinking.
Your bio says you’re 6 foot.
But I can clearly see you only have two!
But I can clearly see you only have two!
January 28, 2026 at 6:32 AM
Your bio says you’re 6 foot.
But I can clearly see you only have two!
But I can clearly see you only have two!
He wear no shoeshine, he got... toe-jam football, he got...monkey finger, he shoot...Coca-Cola
January 18, 2026 at 11:09 PM
He wear no shoeshine, he got... toe-jam football, he got...monkey finger, he shoot...Coca-Cola
Don’t add to the population.
Don’t subtract from the population.
Don’t end up in the hospital, on the news or in jail.
If you do end up in jail, establish dominance quickly.
Don’t subtract from the population.
Don’t end up in the hospital, on the news or in jail.
If you do end up in jail, establish dominance quickly.
January 18, 2026 at 3:33 AM
Don’t add to the population.
Don’t subtract from the population.
Don’t end up in the hospital, on the news or in jail.
If you do end up in jail, establish dominance quickly.
Don’t subtract from the population.
Don’t end up in the hospital, on the news or in jail.
If you do end up in jail, establish dominance quickly.
My 4 year old niece just told me “boys and girls are different because girls have brains and boys have wieners” I was stuck for a second but yeah I mean she’s not wrong.
a man with his eyes closed is holding his head
Alt: Charlie Day with his eyes closed is massaging his temples as a large math equation is imposed over image.
media.tenor.com
January 10, 2026 at 2:14 AM
My 4 year old niece just told me “boys and girls are different because girls have brains and boys have wieners” I was stuck for a second but yeah I mean she’s not wrong.
The three hardest things for someone to say.
1. Iam sorry
2. I need help
3. Worcestershire sauce.
1. Iam sorry
2. I need help
3. Worcestershire sauce.
December 19, 2025 at 11:11 PM
The three hardest things for someone to say.
1. Iam sorry
2. I need help
3. Worcestershire sauce.
1. Iam sorry
2. I need help
3. Worcestershire sauce.
To whoever stole my anti-depressants, I just hope you’re happy.
December 19, 2025 at 6:35 AM
To whoever stole my anti-depressants, I just hope you’re happy.
Swiss cheese is a ripoff, only cheese you can buy into and miss.
December 8, 2025 at 1:47 PM
Swiss cheese is a ripoff, only cheese you can buy into and miss.
It’s time to chew ass bubbles and kick gum, and I’m all out of bubbles?
December 5, 2025 at 4:46 AM
It’s time to chew ass bubbles and kick gum, and I’m all out of bubbles?
My therapist suggested an emotional support animal. I got a chicken, deep friend and came with a biscuit.
November 28, 2025 at 4:03 AM
My therapist suggested an emotional support animal. I got a chicken, deep friend and came with a biscuit.
Lifetime supply. And lethal dose are the same thing.
November 24, 2025 at 1:55 AM
Lifetime supply. And lethal dose are the same thing.
There isn’t enough gum in the galaxy to stop the ass kicking you’re about to get
November 19, 2025 at 9:46 PM
There isn’t enough gum in the galaxy to stop the ass kicking you’re about to get
A day without sunshine is like, ya know… night .
November 17, 2025 at 5:53 AM
A day without sunshine is like, ya know… night .
Post your favorite Star Trek character. Wrong answers only.
November 16, 2025 at 7:23 AM
Post your favorite Star Trek character. Wrong answers only.
I wouldn’t be worried about smart phones or Alexa spying on ya. The vacuum cleaner’s been gathering dirt on you for years.
November 16, 2025 at 7:20 AM
I wouldn’t be worried about smart phones or Alexa spying on ya. The vacuum cleaner’s been gathering dirt on you for years.
My cat constantly looks at me like I asked her to give me a ride to the airport.
November 16, 2025 at 6:16 AM
My cat constantly looks at me like I asked her to give me a ride to the airport.
I came I saw, forgot what I was doing. Retraced my steps got distracted on my way back, I have no idea what’s going on and now I have to piss.
November 16, 2025 at 6:05 AM
I came I saw, forgot what I was doing. Retraced my steps got distracted on my way back, I have no idea what’s going on and now I have to piss.
If I'm scared to make friends, does that make me homiephobic?
November 15, 2025 at 7:40 AM
If I'm scared to make friends, does that make me homiephobic?
The only thing bigger than my massive wiener is my willingness to lie about its size!
November 14, 2025 at 1:18 PM
The only thing bigger than my massive wiener is my willingness to lie about its size!
I’m Ricky Bobby. If you haven’t watched Hundreds of beavers, then f–k you
November 14, 2025 at 1:44 AM
I’m Ricky Bobby. If you haven’t watched Hundreds of beavers, then f–k you
You ever got beaten with a wet spaghetti noodle by your girlfriend, because she has a twin sister and you got confused and Fucked her father? That’s what it feels like to drive a ford F-350.
November 14, 2025 at 1:31 AM
You ever got beaten with a wet spaghetti noodle by your girlfriend, because she has a twin sister and you got confused and Fucked her father? That’s what it feels like to drive a ford F-350.
"Life doesn't always wanna be your friend... you can't just hide, cuz nobody likes a quitter. You gotta take chances".
November 13, 2025 at 9:27 PM
"Life doesn't always wanna be your friend... you can't just hide, cuz nobody likes a quitter. You gotta take chances".
Before you judge someone, walk a mile in their shoes. Then you’re a mile away and you have their shoes.
November 13, 2025 at 8:03 PM
Before you judge someone, walk a mile in their shoes. Then you’re a mile away and you have their shoes.