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JewInACanoe.bsky.social 🎗️

@jewinacanoe.bsky.social

4.6K followers 1.8K following 2.2K posts

MANY POSTS ARE HUMOR AND NOT TO BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY Proud Jew ✡️ memoir OUT FROM THE SHADOW published by Amsterdam Publishing. Repped by Bonnie Swanson of FinePrint Lit.

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JewInACanoe.bsky.social 🎗️ @jewinacanoe.bsky.social · Mar 18

Selected as Runner up for the best memoir at the New York Book Festival and best seller on Amazon.

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JewInACanoe.bsky.social 🎗️ @jewinacanoe.bsky.social · 8h

There are now tariffs on dirty thoughts.

JewInACanoe.bsky.social 🎗️ @jewinacanoe.bsky.social · 8h

For those considering moving to Canada, you will have to accept living in a socialist country, give up your guns, respect women's rights and celebrate thanksgiving in October.

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JewInACanoe.bsky.social 🎗️ @jewinacanoe.bsky.social · 8h

Top 5 Thanksgiving Side Dishes:

1. Mashed potatoes
2. Mashed potatoes
3. Mashed potatoes
4. Mashed potatoes
5. Not cranberries

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JewInACanoe.bsky.social 🎗️ @jewinacanoe.bsky.social · 8h

Thanksgiving is the time of the year where you can liberally use the word moist.

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JewInACanoe.bsky.social 🎗️ @jewinacanoe.bsky.social · 1d

an illustration of a cookie with glasses and the words you 're a smart cookie below it

ALT: an illustration of a cookie with glasses and the words you 're a smart cookie below it

media.tenor.com

JewInACanoe.bsky.social 🎗️ @jewinacanoe.bsky.social · 1d

People in the south: Doesn't the cold bother you?

Canadians:

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JewInACanoe.bsky.social 🎗️ @jewinacanoe.bsky.social · 1d

I've been trying to open a jar of pickles for two hours with no success. They should sell pre-opened jars.

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JewInACanoe.bsky.social 🎗️ @jewinacanoe.bsky.social · 1d

I called ANTIFA head office but all I got was a recorded message saying everyone was out doing field work.

JewInACanoe.bsky.social 🎗️ @jewinacanoe.bsky.social · 2d

For the trolls out there, blocking isn't enough. They should be forced to drive for 24 hours with my wife in the passenger seat.

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JewInACanoe.bsky.social 🎗️ @jewinacanoe.bsky.social · 2d

I was stopped at a red light when this nice lady leaned into an open window to tell me she’ll do anything for $100. So guess who’s getting his entire house painted?

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JewInACanoe.bsky.social 🎗️ @jewinacanoe.bsky.social · 2d

People ask why I'm on Bluesky. I come on here specifically to get unsolicited advice from strangers with no particular expertise.

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JewInACanoe.bsky.social 🎗️ @jewinacanoe.bsky.social · 2d

Therapist: What do you like about yourself?

Me: I can cut a bagel so that each half is equal in size.

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JewInACanoe.bsky.social 🎗️ @jewinacanoe.bsky.social · 2d

I’m wearing a tie-dye shirt and a fringe leather jacket. The Weather Channel said today we should dress for the mid-60’s.

JewInACanoe.bsky.social 🎗️ @jewinacanoe.bsky.social · 3d

WE DID IT! WE KNOCKED OUT THE YANKEES.

JewInACanoe.bsky.social 🎗️ @jewinacanoe.bsky.social · 3d

My 37 year old single friend is also dyslexic. He messed up his profile on a dating app and now has women reaching out looking for a sugar daddy.

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JewInACanoe.bsky.social 🎗️ @jewinacanoe.bsky.social · 3d

My dietitian indicated that there's not enough green in my diet so I went out and bought 4 different strains of weed.

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JewInACanoe.bsky.social 🎗️ @jewinacanoe.bsky.social · 3d

Head shop staff' Can I help you with something?

Me: I'm looking for a coke spoon.

Head shop staff': Will a pepsi spoon be okay?

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JewInACanoe.bsky.social 🎗️ @jewinacanoe.bsky.social · 3d

Amazon delivered the wrong glove for my Halloween costume so I'll be going as OJ Simpson instead of Michael Jackson because....the glove doesn't fit.

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JewInACanoe.bsky.social 🎗️ @jewinacanoe.bsky.social · 4d

My mental health isn't great but I have a good appetite.

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JewInACanoe.bsky.social 🎗️ @jewinacanoe.bsky.social · 4d

Multiple personalities? In this economy?

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JewInACanoe.bsky.social 🎗️ @jewinacanoe.bsky.social · 4d

Last Halloween two Jehovah's Witnesses came to my door. I gave them KitKat bars. In return I got a lecture on pagan holidays.

JewInACanoe.bsky.social 🎗️ @jewinacanoe.bsky.social · 4d

I wish to also remember this event on October 7.

open.substack.com/pub/willieha...

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JewInACanoe.bsky.social 🎗️ @jewinacanoe.bsky.social · 5d

Long time now.

JewInACanoe.bsky.social 🎗️ @jewinacanoe.bsky.social · 5d

This is the Super Harvest Moon. Stunning and humbling.

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JewInACanoe.bsky.social 🎗️ @jewinacanoe.bsky.social · 5d

I'm losing followers which could mean people have come to their senses, been incarcerated, sobered up, or passed away. Good morning to the rest of you!

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