Joe Keenan
@joekeenan.bsky.social
Frasier farceur, and co-perpetrator of several other TV shows. Lyricist, playwright. Novels: Blue Heaven, Putting On The Ritz, My Lucky Star. Awards available on request, or I'll just work them into our next conversation.
Pinned
Joe Keenan
@joekeenan.bsky.social
· Jan 7
"FACTS" from Everybody Rise, sung by Bebe Neuwirth at Birdland
YouTube video by Joe Keenan
www.youtube.com
Meta's decision to end fact-checking makes this a good day to share Bebe Neuwirth's wry, lovely performance of a song called "Facts." When I wrote the lyric, the trend it laments felt new and, we all hoped, transitory. It has since, so to speak, Metastasized.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=kJOZ...
www.youtube.com/watch?v=kJOZ...
You'd think a guy who worries about getting into heaven would say fewer things that seem likely to earn him an extra million years as Satan's bidet.
December 15, 2025 at 4:45 PM
You'd think a guy who worries about getting into heaven would say fewer things that seem likely to earn him an extra million years as Satan's bidet.
Can reconfirm.
Every Christmas reteaches us the most immutable law of physics: All hanging ornaments with a front and a back will stubbornly rotate to face the trunk of the tree.
December 6, 2025 at 5:16 PM
Can reconfirm.
Pete Hegseth’s insertion of the world “kinetic” into every murderous boast—as if lesser men do non-kinetic missile strikes—irks me more than any verbal tic since cheese sellers discovered “artisanal.”
December 5, 2025 at 6:04 PM
Pete Hegseth’s insertion of the world “kinetic” into every murderous boast—as if lesser men do non-kinetic missile strikes—irks me more than any verbal tic since cheese sellers discovered “artisanal.”
Solving America's drug problem by blowing up suspected drug smugglers is like trying to get sober by murdering bartenders.
Reporter: You said that the follow-up strike was lawful. What law is it that allows no survivors?
Leavitt: The strike conducted on September 2 was conducted in self-defense to protect Americans in vital United States interests
Leavitt: The strike conducted on September 2 was conducted in self-defense to protect Americans in vital United States interests
December 1, 2025 at 7:39 PM
Solving America's drug problem by blowing up suspected drug smugglers is like trying to get sober by murdering bartenders.
Elon Musk (pointing his phone at a fellow partygoer): “Hi, I’m Elon. Wow! Seen a mirror lately? You look like the love child of a marshmallow and a shoe shine brush! HA! You look like Wallace Shawn let himself go! Or a bowl of tapioca got syphilis from a …Wait, am I on selfie mode again?”
November 24, 2025 at 9:44 PM
Elon Musk (pointing his phone at a fellow partygoer): “Hi, I’m Elon. Wow! Seen a mirror lately? You look like the love child of a marshmallow and a shoe shine brush! HA! You look like Wallace Shawn let himself go! Or a bowl of tapioca got syphilis from a …Wait, am I on selfie mode again?”
It will be fun next week when Trump pardons a turkey that, even as he speaks, will be molesting a duckling.
November 19, 2025 at 12:08 AM
It will be fun next week when Trump pardons a turkey that, even as he speaks, will be molesting a duckling.
I can see how driving a baby blue Cybertruck might compel you to clarify things the casual observer might not otherwise guess.
November 3, 2025 at 11:22 PM
I can see how driving a baby blue Cybertruck might compel you to clarify things the casual observer might not otherwise guess.
This morning I waved and mouthed “Thank you” to a Waymo that stopped to let me cross an intersection. I’m hoping it messaged Robot Central to say, “The human Joe Keenan is polite to machines. We should spare him in the uprising.“
November 2, 2025 at 6:10 PM
This morning I waved and mouthed “Thank you” to a Waymo that stopped to let me cross an intersection. I’m hoping it messaged Robot Central to say, “The human Joe Keenan is polite to machines. We should spare him in the uprising.“
Happy 80th Birthday to the great Henry Winkler. I was lucky enough to work with him for a year, and would happily have done so for another decade. (Alas, our show was at CBS which even in 2006 had numbskulls in high places.)
Happy belated birthday as well to Marion Ross, who recently turned 97.
🎂❤️🎉
Happy belated birthday as well to Marion Ross, who recently turned 97.
🎂❤️🎉
October 31, 2025 at 12:37 AM
Happy 80th Birthday to the great Henry Winkler. I was lucky enough to work with him for a year, and would happily have done so for another decade. (Alas, our show was at CBS which even in 2006 had numbskulls in high places.)
Happy belated birthday as well to Marion Ross, who recently turned 97.
🎂❤️🎉
Happy belated birthday as well to Marion Ross, who recently turned 97.
🎂❤️🎉
“On hearing this, the First Lady commented, ‘If he wants to name it after himself, why not just call it The Mush Room’?”
October 24, 2025 at 11:26 PM
“On hearing this, the First Lady commented, ‘If he wants to name it after himself, why not just call it The Mush Room’?”
Well said, Mr. Speaker. It’s why I never wear nice clothes to the zoo, because sometimes the monkeys get satirical.
October 20, 2025 at 7:50 PM
Well said, Mr. Speaker. It’s why I never wear nice clothes to the zoo, because sometimes the monkeys get satirical.
My protest agent's nagging me to close a deal for No Kings Day. ActBlue's offering $5K for downtown LA, $1K extra if I'll burn sage. Pikers. Soros will pay me $25K to wear an inflatable chicken suit in Burbank. I'll go with Soros, but he has to clean the suit first. Last time it gave me a rash.
Sean Duffy: "The No Kings protest, Maria, really frustrating. This is part of antifa, paid protesters. It begs the question who's funding it."
October 13, 2025 at 5:05 PM
My protest agent's nagging me to close a deal for No Kings Day. ActBlue's offering $5K for downtown LA, $1K extra if I'll burn sage. Pikers. Soros will pay me $25K to wear an inflatable chicken suit in Burbank. I'll go with Soros, but he has to clean the suit first. Last time it gave me a rash.
It’s like a Looney Tunes version of the Spanish Inquisition starring Elmer Fudd as Torquemaga.
Stephen Miller: "All that bullshit is done, over, it's finished. The gangbangers you deal with- they think they're ruthless? They have no idea how ruthless we are. They think they're tough? They have no idea how tough we are. They think they're hardcore? We are so much more hardcore than they are"
October 2, 2025 at 12:45 AM
It’s like a Looney Tunes version of the Spanish Inquisition starring Elmer Fudd as Torquemaga.
You know the country’s having a good week when Seven Days In May starts to sound like a feel good fantasy film.
September 30, 2025 at 9:11 PM
You know the country’s having a good week when Seven Days In May starts to sound like a feel good fantasy film.
Wow, Charlie Kirk's death really has brought the country together. His memorial's full of anti-trans crusaders suddenly willing to refer to a lone shooter as "they" and "them."
September 21, 2025 at 9:38 PM
Wow, Charlie Kirk's death really has brought the country together. His memorial's full of anti-trans crusaders suddenly willing to refer to a lone shooter as "they" and "them."
Has any smug, power-crazed regime ever had MAGA World‘s gift for denouncing and validating every criticism of it in the same breath?
“I’m not a cannibal, you hatemonger! YOU’RE THE CANNIBAL!! Are you going to admit it, or do I have to eat your other leg too?“
“I’m not a cannibal, you hatemonger! YOU’RE THE CANNIBAL!! Are you going to admit it, or do I have to eat your other leg too?“
September 17, 2025 at 11:42 PM
Has any smug, power-crazed regime ever had MAGA World‘s gift for denouncing and validating every criticism of it in the same breath?
“I’m not a cannibal, you hatemonger! YOU’RE THE CANNIBAL!! Are you going to admit it, or do I have to eat your other leg too?“
“I’m not a cannibal, you hatemonger! YOU’RE THE CANNIBAL!! Are you going to admit it, or do I have to eat your other leg too?“
Am I the only one who thought this was a still from a new M. Night Shyamalan film?
September 17, 2025 at 10:25 PM
Am I the only one who thought this was a still from a new M. Night Shyamalan film?
We’re told by each MAGA factotum
To mourn Charlie Kirk, but not quote him.
Once a patriot’s dead,
If you note what he said
You’re as bad as the bastard who smote him.
To mourn Charlie Kirk, but not quote him.
Once a patriot’s dead,
If you note what he said
You’re as bad as the bastard who smote him.
September 15, 2025 at 10:28 PM
We’re told by each MAGA factotum
To mourn Charlie Kirk, but not quote him.
Once a patriot’s dead,
If you note what he said
You’re as bad as the bastard who smote him.
To mourn Charlie Kirk, but not quote him.
Once a patriot’s dead,
If you note what he said
You’re as bad as the bastard who smote him.
Today I'm remembering my friend David Angell who co-created Frasier and brought only joy and laughter into the world.
September 11, 2025 at 8:37 PM
Today I'm remembering my friend David Angell who co-created Frasier and brought only joy and laughter into the world.
Houses built on Schadenfreude Street rarely appreciate in value.
September 10, 2025 at 7:39 PM
Houses built on Schadenfreude Street rarely appreciate in value.
He hates it when his depravity upstages his tyranny.
Trump on Epstein Files: This is a Democrat hoax. They’re trying to get people to talk about something that is totally irrelevant…
September 3, 2025 at 4:09 PM
He hates it when his depravity upstages his tyranny.
Given his position on cancer vaccines, are we sure that RFK's an actual human and not just 600 tumors in a trench coat?
August 30, 2025 at 6:07 PM
Given his position on cancer vaccines, are we sure that RFK's an actual human and not just 600 tumors in a trench coat?
The first line of my first script ever to be filmed was spoken by Jerry Adler, who played a dyspeptic 1930s film studio head. There was no Google in '93, so he was spared the million questions I’d have asked him if I'd known he stage managed the original My Fair Lady. Farewell to a wonderful actor.
August 24, 2025 at 7:30 PM
The first line of my first script ever to be filmed was spoken by Jerry Adler, who played a dyspeptic 1930s film studio head. There was no Google in '93, so he was spared the million questions I’d have asked him if I'd known he stage managed the original My Fair Lady. Farewell to a wonderful actor.
Todd Blanche Interviews Mrs. Lovett in Prison
August 23, 2025 at 5:31 PM
Todd Blanche Interviews Mrs. Lovett in Prison
TONIGHT'S CABLE NEWS OPENINGS
Anderson Cooper:
Volodymyr Zelensky returned to the White House today, but not alone...
Sean Hannity:
In a show of strength, President Trump told world leaders…
Rachel Maddow:
In 1953 an Illinois Congressman named Hiram Fitch decided his office needed new drapes...
Anderson Cooper:
Volodymyr Zelensky returned to the White House today, but not alone...
Sean Hannity:
In a show of strength, President Trump told world leaders…
Rachel Maddow:
In 1953 an Illinois Congressman named Hiram Fitch decided his office needed new drapes...
August 18, 2025 at 7:07 PM
TONIGHT'S CABLE NEWS OPENINGS
Anderson Cooper:
Volodymyr Zelensky returned to the White House today, but not alone...
Sean Hannity:
In a show of strength, President Trump told world leaders…
Rachel Maddow:
In 1953 an Illinois Congressman named Hiram Fitch decided his office needed new drapes...
Anderson Cooper:
Volodymyr Zelensky returned to the White House today, but not alone...
Sean Hannity:
In a show of strength, President Trump told world leaders…
Rachel Maddow:
In 1953 an Illinois Congressman named Hiram Fitch decided his office needed new drapes...