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Joffiecakes

@joffie.bsky.social

750 followers 710 following 2.5K posts

Bear Jewess Daughter, granddaughter, niece of Holocaust survivors OG resistance GenX theater kid Big dog nerd Foul-mouthed feminist (married to a good man) These words will cut I walk small and carry a big schtick *seriously tho, I will fuck up some Nazis

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Joffiecakes @joffie.bsky.social · Nov 11

Am I discouraged?
Yes

Do I need a little time to process and regroup?
Yes

Am I done fighting?
FUCK NO

Never again means never again - for everyone

Joffiecakes @joffie.bsky.social · 1d

Because there are bots that are created to search out and respond to various keywords for the sole purpose of spreading misinformation and causing upheaval. www.millermosaicllc.com/bot-farms-wi...

Bot Farms Threaten the Jews With Misinformation – Miller Mosaic LLC

www.millermosaicllc.com

Joffiecakes @joffie.bsky.social · 1d

I think it’s a bot. Doesn’t invalidate what you told it though, so fuck it.

Joffiecakes @joffie.bsky.social · 1d

Hehe

Joffiecakes @joffie.bsky.social · 1d

I have estradiol cream that I’m supposed to apply (internally) three times a week, but I haven’t been able to use it, for obvious reasons.

Joffiecakes @joffie.bsky.social · 1d

They help sometimes but it’s still really hot here and that makes it less appealing.

Joffiecakes @joffie.bsky.social · 1d

Yesterday was the second day that my body kept me home and I was feeling sorry for myself, like a prisoner - but then I remembered that my sister is so pregnant that she cannot breathe w/o pain, and I have two friends who’re battling cancer - and I felt…so much worse.

Sigh

Joffiecakes @joffie.bsky.social · 1d

Cool cool, just a second menstrual cycle. No time between the two - so, I’m now on week four and washing the naproxen down with Kaopectate.

It’s a fuckin party up in here, yall.

Joffiecakes @joffie.bsky.social · 3d

Someone on Reddit referred to tefillin (shel rosh) as “jaunty little top-hats” 😄 #Jewsky

Joffiecakes @joffie.bsky.social · 3d

I will be honest with you; I don’t find them any more likable in animated form

Joffiecakes @joffie.bsky.social · 3d

This speaks to me.

Joffiecakes @joffie.bsky.social · 3d

They want your blood to make babies. Those bitches.

Joffiecakes @joffie.bsky.social · 3d

I have lost count of how many times those fuckers have flown at my face. They have flown at my face, fallen on my head, charged at my feet - anything they can do to freak me the fuck out, they’re gonna do it.

Joffiecakes @joffie.bsky.social · 3d

Fyi, horse ‘I love you’ is very different from dolphin ‘I love you.’ VERY different. Dolphin ‘I love you’ is fun for them, but not for you. I bet you can guess how I know this. Luckily, I made it out of the water unscathed. (Iydk, those are some randy mfkn mammals)

But I digress. Fuck cockroaches.

Joffiecakes @joffie.bsky.social · 3d

a man in a suit and glasses sits in a red chair with the words yeah man above him

ALT: a man in a suit and glasses sits in a red chair with the words yeah man above him

media.tenor.com

Joffiecakes @joffie.bsky.social · 3d

Horses apparently think my quiet observance is an invitation for nuzzle-time. When I was a girl, they would lift me off my feet while affectionately rubbing their whole heads up-and-down my chest, which is horse for “I love you.”

Joffiecakes @joffie.bsky.social · 3d

It’s very much the same with animals as it is with insects. Dogs will tug at the lead because they really want to say: hi-hi-hi-HIIIIII!!!
Horses will also inch their way over to me, with or without rider. I have legit been asked to leave the ringside because I’m a distraction during lessons…

Joffiecakes @joffie.bsky.social · 3d

But okay, yeah, the flip side is pretty good because, thankfully, I’m an animal lover. And, yep, they come at me too but it’s different. They’re curious and friendly and though they’re more tentative in the wild, they just want to meet me. Which _is_ pretty cool, I guess.

Joffiecakes @joffie.bsky.social · 3d

There is something in my chemistry that attracts insects (*and animals) and it’s a genetic thing. My grandfather suffered very similarly. He had a famous incident involving bats. LOTS of bats.
Y’all, the slightest whiff of guano will make me flee, instantly. No joke. I am out💨

Joffiecakes @joffie.bsky.social · 3d

You don’t understand. They come for me. I am not exaggerating. It’s been a lifelong ordeal and it’s fucking traumatizing. Tbf, it’s all bugs. Bees make beelines, flies fly around me - I have walked from carpet to tile and seen fleas follow me across the floor…

Joffiecakes @joffie.bsky.social · 3d

After yet another face off with a cockroach, I’ve come to realize that I will quite literally go to my grave battling these motherfuckers.

Joffiecakes @joffie.bsky.social · 4d

That’s what you might think but the only thing that’s changed about my order over the past half century is that I’ve been forced to eliminate the red onion.

Joffiecakes @joffie.bsky.social · 4d

Yep. Knew it. Doesn’t matter, I’m older and I have more insurance.

Joffiecakes @joffie.bsky.social · 4d

I’m not winning any elections because I’m one of those overly detailed orderers, but here goes: lightly toasted salt bagel, thin schmear, smoked fish (any as long as it doesn’t involve mayo), tomato, capers, squeeze of lemon, and coarse black pepper - I can do the last two things myself.

Joffiecakes @joffie.bsky.social · 7d

Maybe my guy will slip ‘Spanish Fly’ in my lassi

Joffiecakes @joffie.bsky.social · 7d

Going to our local food truck park for date night

It’s still hot and my hair/tits are heavy/sweaty

Gonna drink my weight in mango lassi