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Kernasaurus @kernasaurus.bsky.social · 12h

#adelusionalpredisposition

#mentalhealth #arthritis #hypothyroidism #TSHlevels #levothyroxine #varicoseveins #sclerotherapy #foam #rheumatoidarthritis #labwork #bloodwork #cortisonekneeinjections #rheumatologists #nutritionist #orthopedic #paindoctor #therapy #EMDR #nightmares #dreams #processing

And Even More Doctor Appointments…

I had a lot more doctors appointments this week. I had sclerotherapy done on my left leg on Tuesday this week. One down by my ankle and another in my back calf – both on the left leg. It burn…

adelusionalpredisposition.com

Kernasaurus @kernasaurus.bsky.social · 6d

#adelusionalpredisposition

#mentalillness #disability #rheumatoidarthritis #arthritis #bonespurs #hurdles #chronicpain #pain #jointstiffness #kneereplacements #bonefusions #bigtoe #ankles #knees #methotrexate #medications #painmanagement #schizoaffectivedisorder #episodes #stigma

The Doctor Said…

I started crying today. Because of stupid facebook and a bunch of other stuff. But I’m telling you, every single time that I try to reach out or comment on someone’s post on facebook, it backfires …

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Kernasaurus @kernasaurus.bsky.social · 14d

#adelusionalpredisposition

#EMDR #mentalillness #pain #chronicpain #memoryloss #therapy #mentalhealth #lumbarablation #backpain #knee #arthritis #osteoarthritis #earlyonsetarthritis #voices #hallucinations #trauma #rememberingonlytrauma #disability #PTSD #schizoaffectivedisorder #invisibleillness

EMDR and Pain and Memory

I’m still in a lot of pain this week. My pain levels have been waking me up at night, every night. It’s quite exhausting. I’ve at least been able to take naps this week. I’m not always able to. But…

adelusionalpredisposition.com

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Kernasaurus @kernasaurus.bsky.social · 21d

#adelusionalpredisposition

#mentalillness #invisibleillness #chronicpain #arthritis #RA #CRP #labwork #therapy #EMDR #selfwork #stigma #osteoarthritis #disability #PTSD #traumawork #somatic #painlevels #hallucinations #episode #psychosis #nightmares

Psychosis, EMDR, and Pain Levels

The other day I was walking Bruce and I had a big visual hallucination. It was like the world was suddenly zooming out. I was looking down the sidewalk, and things were getting further away. Like i…

adelusionalpredisposition.com

Kernasaurus @kernasaurus.bsky.social · 28d

#adelusionalpredisposition

#mentalillness #mentalhealth #disability #invisibleillness #money #finances #spending #episode #depression #anxiety #frustration

Schizoaffective Disorder and Money

It’s been a slow moving week. I suppose that’s a good thing. I’ve been sorta unmotivated lately – unfocused. I can’t help but worry about the future. I’m paranoid about the next steps and wha…

adelusionalpredisposition.com

Kernasaurus @kernasaurus.bsky.social · Sep 28

#adelusionalpredisposition

#mentalillness #schizoaffective #schizophrenia #bipolar #veinablations #arthritis #RA #chronicpain #disability #handicapable #invisibleillness #EMDR #therapy #CRP #seronegative #medicaltrauma #knees #sclerotherapy #venousinsufficiency

Vein Ablations and Therapy

So, the vein ablations are done. Thank goodness. The photo with this entry shows just how drastic of a difference the procedures have made. It’s amazing. I mean, I knew my feet and legs were discol…

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Kernasaurus @kernasaurus.bsky.social · Sep 20

#adelusionalpredisposition

#mentalillness #CPTSD #PTSD #schizoaffective #bipolar #MDD #BPD #ADHD #psychosis #episode #anosognosia #hyperhidrosis #EMDR #therapy #denial #chronicpain #arthritis #veinablation #disability #invisibleillness #handicapable

Trauma, Pain Levels, and ADHD

I woke up in incredible amounts of pain on Wednesday this week. Incredible. I could barely fucking move. When I finally did, I had to move very, very slowly. Even on my morning walk with Bruce that…

adelusionalpredisposition.com

Kernasaurus @kernasaurus.bsky.social · Sep 14

Kernasaurus @kernasaurus.bsky.social · Sep 13

#adelusionalpredisposition

#mentalillness #schizoaffective #schizophrenia #bipolar #ptsd #cptsd #anxiety #trauma #childhood #bullying #medical #teachers #handicapable #disability #emdr #therapy #fight #flight #freeze #fawn #recovery #invisibleillness #chronicpain #chronichealthproblems

C•PTSD and Trauma (Medical and Authoritative)

I’m 99.9% sure of my PTSD is actually C•PTSD. I’ve never really given it much thought until this last weekend. I mean, I have, but I haven’t put that much thought into it. I guess I never rea…

adelusionalpredisposition.com

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Kernasaurus @kernasaurus.bsky.social · Sep 6

#adelusionalpredisposition

#mentalillness #schizoaffective #schizophrenia #bipolar #anxiety #paranoia #fear #PTSD #fire #firefighter #forestfire #water #coolwater #EMDR #therapy #flashback #mentalhealth #handicapable #disability #invisibleillness

The Time I Started A Forest Fire

I had a good therapy session this week. My therapist has just gotten her EMDR certification a few weeks ago, maybe a month ago now. And she’s using me as a guinea pig – which I love. We worke…

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Kernasaurus @kernasaurus.bsky.social · Sep 1

Bruce the #doggo is so photogenic it’s absurd!

Kernasaurus @kernasaurus.bsky.social · Sep 1

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Kernasaurus @kernasaurus.bsky.social · Sep 1

#adelusionalpredisposition

#mentalillness #anesthetics #veinablation #therapy #psychologist #healthcare #medications #medmanagement #cleaning #schizoaffective #bipolar #depression #anxiety #exhaustion #frustration #dog #disability #handicapable #invisibleillness #chronicpain #venousinsufficiencies

Anesthetics Frustrations But Then a Surprisingly Good Visit With My Psych NP

I’m angry this week. Frustrated is maybe a better word. I know it’s from the anesthetics last week. I know it is. It’s always like this. After every procedure. I really wish it wasn’t like this tho…

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Kernasaurus @kernasaurus.bsky.social · Aug 24

#adelusionalpredisposition

#veinablation #chronicpain #disability #invisibleillness #mentalillness #schizoaffective #bipolar #friends #dating #hallucinations #voices #antipsychotics #shame #grief

Being Social With Schizoaffective Disorder

I don’t know why I can’t just go out and about and be happy that someone wants to spend time with me. Oh wait, I do know why, it’s the voices. They’re always fucking shit up. Everytime I’m away fro…

adelusionalpredisposition.com

Kernasaurus @kernasaurus.bsky.social · Aug 17

#adelusionalpredisposition

#mentalillness #invisibleillness #schizoaffective #bipolar #anxiety #capacity #friendship #schizophrenia #freeze #validation #communication #brunch #hallucination #depression #understanding #expectation #resentment #handicapable #relationship #stigma #disability

Capacity

I was having a brunch date with someone Saturday (it went really well!) and he reminded me that people only have so much capacity to deal with things, or to be there for others. Whatever things tho…

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Kernasaurus @kernasaurus.bsky.social · Aug 9

#adelusionalpredisposition

#mentalillness #hallucination #cymbalta #bugs #infestation #carproblems #crying #emotional #schizoaffective #schizophrenia #bipolar #depression #anxiety #exterminator #sideeffect #quitsmoking #oneyear #vices #antidepressants #disability #invisibleillness

The Bug Situation and Being Emotional

This is how my week started… It’s Monday, and I have been so incredibly, unbearably anxious and paranoid lately. Like, crying at least several times every single day, for the past several weeks. An…

adelusionalpredisposition.com

Kernasaurus @kernasaurus.bsky.social · Aug 2

#adelusionalpredisposition

#change #growth #mentalillness #disability #invisibleillness #schizoaffectivedisorder #schizophrenia #depression #episode #stigma #psychosis #diagnosis #EMDR #therapy #friendship #loss #grief #shame #selfharm #ideations #cope #process #emote #feelings

I’m Not Who I Once Was

I used to freak the fuck out. Over react to everything. Screaming. Yelling. Texting people nonstop about my random issues and problems. I answered the phone today when I shouldn’t have. I was frust…

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Kernasaurus @kernasaurus.bsky.social · Jul 28

Yesss!! Good for you! Therapy is Gamechanging! That’s so true, it takes a ton of time and patience, which I’m also working on :) it’s totally worth it!

Kernasaurus @kernasaurus.bsky.social · Jul 27

It took a looooot of therapy and hardcore medication regimen and lots of group therapy for me to put this together!! It doesn’t happen overnight as I’m sure you know all about that!! It’s a long road and I still have to talk to my psych NP about it too. But I’m hopeful today!! Thank you so much!! 💗