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lakelewisia.com
Lake Lewisia
@lakelewisia.com
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Community updates and very normal events. Voted Most Liminal Town in Marguerite County eight years running. Visit lakelewisia.com for more.
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lakelewisia.com
While getting the death one deserved could never be guaranteed, a suitable, if not always desirable, afterlife would usually be arranged. For him, after a life spent using headphones and dark glasses and carefully chosen fabrics to defend against a world of pricking noise and sizzling light and grating texture, heaven was a Rothko. When his soul slipped free of this plane, Death escorted him to a universe of blue, soothing and cool as a pool of pure water stretching out forever.
January 15, 2026 at 1:31 AM
lakelewisia.com
While the ground is frozen and there is little for gardeners to do but wait, the temptation may come to try growing things in unusual, climate-controlled locations. If you have a greenhouse, cold frame, or suitable windowsill, this can be an appropriate outlet for your gardening impulses and will, at worst, result in some premature seedlings. Please resist the urge, however great, to plant seeds in your partner’s coffee mug, the office break room sink, your car in an elaborate raised bed arrangement on the dashboard, or in any other places you would not wish to eventually deal with a full-grown marigold shrub, pumpkin vine, or ambulatory tree sapling.
January 13, 2026 at 1:16 AM
lakelewisia.com
For the weekend, some vintage Lewisian lore:
Nature therapies, of which forest bathing has become the most famous, continue to enjoy popularity and study around the world as an antidote to increasingly isolated, sedentary, and sterile lifestyles. But did you know that the Lake Lewisia region offers unique opportunities for outdoor exercise, meditation, and relaxation not seen anywhere else? Nothing helps you focus on your breathing like doing it underwater, fairy ring yoga is very seldom fatal, and if the outdoors feels a bit too bright and exposed, you can always try a crawling meditation in the extensive cave systems.
January 10, 2026 at 10:32 PM
lakelewisia.com
Being telepathic, the creatures had not developed the legal language of contracts, but that did not mean their help came with only a vague promise of mutual aid. Their representative handed her a blank page and a palette of paints. She was expected to paint a scene representative of their agreement, each brushstroke as complex as a well-placed Latin phrase and as binding as a signature.
January 10, 2026 at 1:17 AM
lakelewisia.com
She stepped onto the stage, wide-eyed and white knuckled around the gathered black plastic bag in her hands, and tentatively shuffled into the sizzle of the spotlight. Applause burst out from the audience, visible only around the very edges of the light as shadowy wings and horns, at the sight of her in her moth-eaten sweater and her coziest slippers. When she had stepped through her apartment door to take out the trash, she had expected to enter a hallway, rather than an elaborately dressed stage in mid-production somewhere in the fae realms, and she had no idea what to expect when she made it all the way to stage right.
January 8, 2026 at 12:43 AM
lakelewisia.com
This is the time of year when many will fall victim to predatory prognosticators, claiming to have the ability to foretell your fate in 2026. We recommend only consulting officially licensed prophets, seers, and fortunetellers, whose respective governing bodies monitor accuracy, timeliness, and ethical methodology. And remember, anyone who claims the future is both knowable and unchangeable has clearly never encountered even a basic temporal anomaly, so how much can they really know about the world around us?
January 6, 2026 at 1:30 AM
lakelewisia.com
For the weekend, some vintage Lewisian lore:
If you’ve decided this will be the year you find love and so begun the unenviable task of signing up for dating sites and singles clubs and magic tutorials with words like “cosmic alignment” in the name, we have good news: love has already found you and is currently tracking you down! It’s probably best if you just stay where you are and let it happen, as love is both very determined and also has difficulty negotiating the tight corners of urban streets. When we say “love,” it’s possible we have it confused with a five-story boar-god from out of the deep forests, but those are very similar things.
January 3, 2026 at 9:56 PM
lakelewisia.com
She found the stash of silverware in the back of her grandmother’s closet after her death, swaddled in mouse-nibbled dishcloths, crammed in byzantine arrangements into dusty cardboard boxes. All of it was black with tarnish from decades of disuse, save one piece she took at first to be the wedge of a cake slicer. The knife was big and freshly polished to a shine like moonlight by someone who evidently knew her grandmother’s house and belongings better than she did.
January 3, 2026 at 12:40 AM
lakelewisia.com
Time looked up from its work, delicately lifting hands away from the dominoes it had just added to the elaborate Rube Goldberg machine that was its creation, and it smiled to hear the sound of fireworks and cheering and champagne corks. Accustomed to being blamed for age and loss, it was nice for so many of them to suddenly remember who also brought the coming spring and the maturing wines and the growing children. For one who gnawed iron and had stones for meal, it was a welcome relief instead to drink down one night’s worth of their frenzied gratitude for the chance to see another year.
December 31, 2025 at 11:58 PM
lakelewisia.com
The annual lighting of Beacon House will take place at sundown on Wednesday, so bring your candles, flashlights, lanterns and pocket lighters and meet on the hill. Our lights will be reflected into the many mirrors in the House, helping to renew the infinite light that bounces around inside there. Local tradition says that this light is needed to ensure that the new year can find its way to our community, which sounds like a good idea whether taken literally or metaphorically.
December 30, 2025 at 12:52 AM
lakelewisia.com
For the weekend, some vintage Lewisian lore:
Before the haze of smoke had cleared from the circle, there was a voice saying, “Oh, oh gosh, I’m sorry, I’ve never done this before.” Though enclosed within numerous protective wards and bound to obey the will of its summoner, the demon looked more inclined to stand awkwardly in a corner at parties than orchestrate occult orgies or bend reality to create kings out of peasants. “I’m really more of a ‘last demon in the back row of the ravening horde’ type, you know?”
December 28, 2025 at 12:25 AM
lakelewisia.com
Death classes, taught by a combination of spiritual leaders, medical professionals, and retired actors, encouraged people to make peace with their eventual demise by facing it head-on. Exercises included practical planning with legal advice, but spent more time on often outrageous playacting of possible final moments to help adjust to the idea of dying. In addition to the elderly and terminally ill, the classes always saw a few misfit attendees, frequently alarmingly young, who often turned out to be psychopomps in the making.
December 27, 2025 at 12:29 AM
lakelewisia.com
She had been told not to go into the adult part of the library, even though she had read everything in the children’s section already–twice–but someone was whispering. Mean Mrs. Jordan worked on Wednesdays and had once kicked someone out for sneezing too loud, so she really just wanted to warn whoever it was to stop talking before Mrs. Jordan found them instead. By the time she noticed just how very long the aisles in the adult section seemed to be, she had been walking too long to see the way back to the rest of the library anymore, the books on the shelves had artifacts mixed in with them, and the whispering was definitely getting louder.
December 25, 2025 at 12:02 AM
lakelewisia.com
For those planning to make exercise part of their lifestyle in the New Year but unenthusiastic about lifting dumbbells or running on a treadmill in a gym, we have an alternative opportunity. Through partnerships organized by the community clinic, you can be paired with another local in need of help at home due to injury, disability, or other life circumstances, and get your exercise from activities like hauling groceries or walking pets. Clinic staff have sorted chores according to skills built, from strength training to cardio to psychic resistance, so you can improve yourself and serve your community.
December 22, 2025 at 10:45 PM
lakelewisia.com
For the weekend, some vintage Lewisian lore:
Lost Pet announcement: someone has lost their pet Creeping Dread, which ran off during last weekend’s thunderstorm and power outage, and is offering a reward for any information or help in finding it. The Creeping Dread is gray, mid-sized, and likes to spread itself around to anyone nearby, so it probably hasn’t gone far. If you find yourself experiencing inexplicable anxiety, malaise, or paranoia, check out-of-the-way spots around your home where this creature may be hiding, and remember that it is more afraid of you (and everything else) than you are of it.
December 21, 2025 at 12:58 AM
lakelewisia.com
When he informed his friend and weekend host that there was a squirrel angrily chittering in a live trap cage in the backyard, he had not entirely expected the smug “serves Mrs. Wilmott right” he heard in response. “Just imagine the persistence of a bird feeder-raiding squirrel and the nosiness of a little old biddy next door, then make her a witch,” she explained as she looked out the kitchen window, which had heavy privacy curtains like everywhere else in the house. “She’s safe in the shade, so I think I’ll let her stew for a bit, and maybe she’ll think better of snooping while I have a ‘gentleman caller’ staying over,” she announced loudly, which set off a new wave of furious squeaking.
December 20, 2025 at 1:24 AM
lakelewisia.com
The trouble–one of the troubles, anyway–with locking up one’s monstrous offspring in the attic is that one must then tell less-monstrous offspring, “Your brother is a monster and we keep him in there so he can’t hurt anyone,” and they decide they quite like monsters. Then you tell them, “So you must never, ever open this door,” and they decide to whisper through the keyhole and pass notes under the door. Then you tell them, “Family secrets have to stay in the family,” and they decide they and their monstrous sibling will simply have to find a new family in that case.
December 18, 2025 at 12:47 AM
lakelewisia.com
With the weather taking a sharp turn to colder daytime temperatures, we are happy to announce that Old Man Anatole has been able to emerge from his yearly hibernation in the cryostasis lab at the community college. Trapped on a mountain unknown centuries ago, Anatole was found frozen by local archaeologists and was revived somewhat successfully, apart from his inability to survive in warmer temperatures. When you see him wandering coatless about town, stop to say hello and tell him about something pleasant for you from the past year, as he always enjoys catching up on what he misses during his seasonal sleep.
December 16, 2025 at 1:16 AM
lakelewisia.com
For the weekend, some vintage Lewisian lore:
A number of apps and services had check-in features, allowing users to register that they had visited a particular location on a given day, sometimes in exchange for discounts and other rewards. What many did not realize was how many analog spots would accept check-ins as well: trees registered palms pressed to trunks, several large glacial boulders could be climbed to check in, and streetlamps took notice if you stood under them for a few seconds and looked up just so. The rewards ranged from an hour of unexpected optimism to arriving just in time to get the last muffin, the subtle sort of benefits that kept such check-ins underrated by all but the savviest residents.
December 14, 2025 at 4:09 AM
lakelewisia.com
The frat house, for good or ill, was not inhabited by the sort of brownie who helps with household chores or takes offense at squalor. Instead, the unnamed branch of the Gentry who lived there entertained themselves with drinking the dregs of red Solo cups and impressed one another with feats of strength by hoisting near-empty kegs over their wee heads. If these occasionally got dropped on the head of a passed-out pledge, they were usually too still-drunk to believe anything they saw or notice any additional headache.
December 13, 2025 at 4:29 AM
lakelewisia.com
Keeping an art collective in the black was never an easy job, however commercial one’s works might be, and so none of them were feeling particularly selective when someone offered funding in exchange for a few commissioned landscapes and animal portraits. There was a great deal of cloak and dagger about it, and the collective all nearly died playing at detectives to reveal the Dorian Gray-esque bargain to which they had become unwitting parties. Had they known that the goal was to preserve endangered animals and threatened ecosystems, transferring the poachers’ bullets and loggers chainsaws to their canvas counterparts, they would have done the work for free, though they saw no reason to mention that after the fact.
December 11, 2025 at 1:25 AM
lakelewisia.com
Congratulations and prizes go to the group of middle school students who successfully located and burned down this year’s Solstice Beast, which had been hidden in a culvert beyond Arrow Point Lookout. This year, the highly flammable straw statue installation was made in the shape of a very fine pronghorn, complete with horns that shot fireworks when ignited, thanks to local sculptors, chemists, and farmers. This is the quickest discovery since 2009, though not the quickest burning, after the 2022 raccoon Solstice Beast was incinerated by a bolt of lightning before discovery.
December 9, 2025 at 1:32 AM
lakelewisia.com
For the weekend, some vintage Lewisian lore:
Did you forget to put your garden to bed for winter, safe under layers of mulch or wrapped up in protective burlap? Your garden may now be overly tired and cranky, like anyone kept up too late, and may be throwing tantrums (and windfall apples or other harvest leftovers). It can be difficult to get gardens to settle down to rest at this point, no matter how exhausted they are, and you may need to reach out for professional help that can provide thick layers of straw and soothing lullabies to coax them into their winter sleep.
December 7, 2025 at 2:56 AM
lakelewisia.com
“This doesn’t seem like the right geography for hills like this to form,” he remarked in confusion as they drove through a series of low foothills studding the otherwise flat plains. Her boyfriend was bright, curious, and observant, just some of the good qualities that had made her willing to try bringing him back to her hometown, despite the expected difficulties. “They’re barrows, actually,” she told him, figuring that the following conversation, about what exactly would need a burial mound that large and who would have constructed it, would at least pass the time until they reached their destination.
December 6, 2025 at 2:26 AM
lakelewisia.com
Onlookers would state that the branch had let out a crack like thunder when it broke but still fell too fast for anyone to react, let alone get out of the way. She would state that the falling branch, still thick with autumn leaves, did not so much bash her over the head as whisk her up into a tiny arboreal village in crisis after the fall. The discrepancy between the adventurous weeks she experienced and the frantic minutes onlookers spent freeing her unconscious body from the tangle were not something she could explain, but by then, she was more concerned with getting back to her newfound leafy home than with the petty reality from which she came.
December 4, 2025 at 1:01 AM