Linux Fortunes
@linuxfortunes.bsky.social
Random fortune cookies provided by Linux's very own fortune-mod
Running Windows on a Pentium is like having a brand new Porsche but only
be able to drive backwards with the handbrake on.
(Unknown source)
[linuxcookie/73]
January 17, 2026 at 12:00 PM
Running Windows on a Pentium is like having a brand new Porsche but only
be able to drive backwards with the handbrake on.
(Unknown source)
[linuxcookie/73]
Wow, I'm being shot at from both sides. That means I *must* be right. :-)
-- Larry Wall in <[email protected]>
[perl/233]
January 17, 2026 at 11:00 AM
Wow, I'm being shot at from both sides. That means I *must* be right. :-)
-- Larry Wall in <[email protected]>
[perl/233]
The Assassin moved quietly from roof to roof until he was well away from
the excitement around the Watch House. His movements could be called
cat-like, except that he did not stop to spray urine up against things.
-- Terry Pratchett, "Night Watch"
[pratchett/1]
January 17, 2026 at 10:00 AM
The Assassin moved quietly from roof to roof until he was well away from
the excitement around the Watch House. His movements could be called
cat-like, except that he did not stop to spray urine up against things.
-- Terry Pratchett, "Night Watch"
[pratchett/1]
Holy Dilemma! Is this the end for the Caped Crusader and the Boy Wonder?
Will the Joker and the Riddler have the last laugh?
Tune in again tomorrow:
same Bat-time, same Bat-channel!
[art/110]
January 17, 2026 at 9:00 AM
Holy Dilemma! Is this the end for the Caped Crusader and the Boy Wonder?
Will the Joker and the Riddler have the last laugh?
Tune in again tomorrow:
same Bat-time, same Bat-channel!
[art/110]
I'd love to kiss you, but I just washed my hair.
-- Bette Davis, "Cabin in the Cotton"
[love/48]
January 17, 2026 at 8:00 AM
I'd love to kiss you, but I just washed my hair.
-- Bette Davis, "Cabin in the Cotton"
[love/48]
Leadership involves finding a parade and getting in front of it; what
is happening in America is that those parades are getting smaller and
smaller -- and there are many more of them.
-- John Naisbitt, "Megatrends"
[politics/318]
January 17, 2026 at 7:00 AM
Leadership involves finding a parade and getting in front of it; what
is happening in America is that those parades are getting smaller and
smaller -- and there are many more of them.
-- John Naisbitt, "Megatrends"
[politics/318]
<|Rain|> I *love* SWB!!
<|Rain|> Or, press 5 to speak to a representitive..
<|Rain|> *5*
<|Rain|> You are being transferred, please hold...
<|Rain|> ...
<|Rain|> ...
<|Rain|> We're sorry, this number can not be completed as dialed.
<|Rain|> Please check the number and try again.
[knghtbrd/498]
January 17, 2026 at 6:00 AM
<|Rain|> I *love* SWB!!
<|Rain|> Or, press 5 to speak to a representitive..
<|Rain|> *5*
<|Rain|> You are being transferred, please hold...
<|Rain|> ...
<|Rain|> ...
<|Rain|> We're sorry, this number can not be completed as dialed.
<|Rain|> Please check the number and try again.
[knghtbrd/498]
There is nothing wrong with abstinence, in moderation.
[drugs/174]
January 17, 2026 at 5:00 AM
There is nothing wrong with abstinence, in moderation.
[drugs/174]
Knowledge is power -- knowledge shared is power lost.
-- Aleister Crowley
[magic/13]
January 17, 2026 at 4:00 AM
Knowledge is power -- knowledge shared is power lost.
-- Aleister Crowley
[magic/13]
The young lady had an unusual list,
Linked in part to a structural weakness.
She set no preconditions.
[songs-poems/561]
January 17, 2026 at 3:00 AM
The young lady had an unusual list,
Linked in part to a structural weakness.
She set no preconditions.
[songs-poems/561]
Since when has the purpose of debian been to appease the interests of the
mass of unskilled consumers? -- Steve Shorter
[knghtbrd/82]
January 17, 2026 at 2:00 AM
Since when has the purpose of debian been to appease the interests of the
mass of unskilled consumers? -- Steve Shorter
[knghtbrd/82]
Tout choses sont dites deja, mais comme personne n'ecoute, il faut
toujours recommencer.
-- A. Gide
[ All things have already been said, but since no one listens, one
must always start again. ]
[translate-me/11]
January 17, 2026 at 1:00 AM
Tout choses sont dites deja, mais comme personne n'ecoute, il faut
toujours recommencer.
-- A. Gide
[ All things have already been said, but since no one listens, one
must always start again. ]
[translate-me/11]
We have only two things to worry about: That things will never get
back to normal, and that they already have.
[wisdom/351]
January 17, 2026 at 12:00 AM
We have only two things to worry about: That things will never get
back to normal, and that they already have.
[wisdom/351]
May you live in interesting times.
-- Chinese proverb
[platitudes/297]
January 16, 2026 at 11:00 PM
May you live in interesting times.
-- Chinese proverb
[platitudes/297]
It is better to have loved and lost than just to have lost.
[platitudes/255]
January 16, 2026 at 10:00 PM
It is better to have loved and lost than just to have lost.
[platitudes/255]
Come live with me, and be my love,
And we will some new pleasures prove
Of golden sands, and crystal brooks,
With silken lines, and silver hooks.
-- John Donne
[songs-poems/105]
January 16, 2026 at 9:00 PM
Come live with me, and be my love,
And we will some new pleasures prove
Of golden sands, and crystal brooks,
With silken lines, and silver hooks.
-- John Donne
[songs-poems/105]
You worry too much about your job. Stop it. You are not paid enough to worry.
[fortunes/373]
January 16, 2026 at 8:00 PM
You worry too much about your job. Stop it. You are not paid enough to worry.
[fortunes/373]
Debian Hint #37: Want to download a package without installing it? Use
'apt download <pkgname>' or 'aptitude download <pkgname>'.
[debian-hints/36]
January 16, 2026 at 7:00 PM
Debian Hint #37: Want to download a package without installing it? Use
'apt download <pkgname>' or 'aptitude download <pkgname>'.
[debian-hints/36]
With a rubber duck, one's never alone.
-- "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy"
[pets/50]
January 16, 2026 at 6:00 PM
With a rubber duck, one's never alone.
-- "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy"
[pets/50]
Quit worrying about your health. It'll go away.
-- Robert Orben
[medicine/56]
January 16, 2026 at 5:00 PM
Quit worrying about your health. It'll go away.
-- Robert Orben
[medicine/56]
<Flood> can I write a unix-like kernel in perl?
[knghtbrd/33]
January 16, 2026 at 4:00 PM
<Flood> can I write a unix-like kernel in perl?
[knghtbrd/33]
* liiwi takes the whip and eyes pasc
< pasc> ohh!!! kinky!
< pasc> how convenient, I was just about to call in sick at work ;-)
-- in #debian-devel
[debian/17]
January 16, 2026 at 3:00 PM
* liiwi takes the whip and eyes pasc
< pasc> ohh!!! kinky!
< pasc> how convenient, I was just about to call in sick at work ;-)
-- in #debian-devel
[debian/17]
A new supply of round tuits has arrived and are available from Mary.
Anyone who has been putting off work until they got a round tuit now
has no excuse for further procrastination.
[work/23]
January 16, 2026 at 2:00 PM
A new supply of round tuits has arrived and are available from Mary.
Anyone who has been putting off work until they got a round tuit now
has no excuse for further procrastination.
[work/23]
Hodie natus est radici frater.
[ Unto the root is born a brother ]
[translate-me/3]
January 16, 2026 at 1:00 PM
Hodie natus est radici frater.
[ Unto the root is born a brother ]
[translate-me/3]
I think it's a new feature. Don't tell anyone it was an accident. :-)
-- Larry Wall on s/foo/bar/eieio in <[email protected]>
[perl/49]
January 16, 2026 at 12:00 PM
I think it's a new feature. Don't tell anyone it was an accident. :-)
-- Larry Wall on s/foo/bar/eieio in <[email protected]>
[perl/49]