Linux Fortunes
@linuxfortunes.bsky.social
Random fortune cookies provided by Linux's very own fortune-mod
Facts are stubborn, but statistics are more pliable.
[science/146]
November 10, 2025 at 1:00 PM
Facts are stubborn, but statistics are more pliable.
[science/146]
"For the love of phlegm...a stupid wall of death rays. How tacky can ya get?"
-- Post Brothers comics
[cookie/414]
November 10, 2025 at 12:00 PM
"For the love of phlegm...a stupid wall of death rays. How tacky can ya get?"
-- Post Brothers comics
[cookie/414]
Debian Hint #15: The documentation for a package can normally be found
under /usr/share/doc/<package>. In particular, the README.Debian file often
has useful information about Debian-specific quirks or tips.
[debian-hints/14]
November 10, 2025 at 11:00 AM
Debian Hint #15: The documentation for a package can normally be found
under /usr/share/doc/<package>. In particular, the README.Debian file often
has useful information about Debian-specific quirks or tips.
[debian-hints/14]
TOO BAD YOU CAN'T BUY a voodoo globe so that you could make the earth spin
real fast and freak everybody out.
-- Jack Handey, The New Mexican, 1988.
[humorists/175]
November 10, 2025 at 10:00 AM
TOO BAD YOU CAN'T BUY a voodoo globe so that you could make the earth spin
real fast and freak everybody out.
-- Jack Handey, The New Mexican, 1988.
[humorists/175]
"It's a step forward although there was no progress."
President Hosni Murbarak of Egypt attempting to put the best face
on a disappointing summit meeting between President Clinton and
the Syrian dictator Hafez Assad.
[paradoxum/68]
November 10, 2025 at 9:00 AM
"It's a step forward although there was no progress."
President Hosni Murbarak of Egypt attempting to put the best face
on a disappointing summit meeting between President Clinton and
the Syrian dictator Hafez Assad.
[paradoxum/68]
"I'd love to go out with you, but I'm staying home to work on my
cottage cheese sculpture."
[love/40]
November 10, 2025 at 8:00 AM
"I'd love to go out with you, but I'm staying home to work on my
cottage cheese sculpture."
[love/40]
Nadia Comaneci, simple perfection.
-- '76 Olympics
[sports/92]
November 10, 2025 at 7:00 AM
Nadia Comaneci, simple perfection.
-- '76 Olympics
[sports/92]
"I am not sure what this is, but an `F' would only dignify it."
-- English Professor
[education/72]
November 10, 2025 at 6:00 AM
"I am not sure what this is, but an `F' would only dignify it."
-- English Professor
[education/72]
Generic Fortune.
[goedel/12]
November 10, 2025 at 5:00 AM
Generic Fortune.
[goedel/12]
<JHM> Somehow I have more respect for 14 year old Debian developers than
14 year old Certified Microsoft Serfs.
[knghtbrd/53]
November 10, 2025 at 4:00 AM
<JHM> Somehow I have more respect for 14 year old Debian developers than
14 year old Certified Microsoft Serfs.
[knghtbrd/53]
Absence in love is like water upon fire; a little quickens, but much
extinguishes it.
-- Hannah More
[love/4]
November 10, 2025 at 3:00 AM
Absence in love is like water upon fire; a little quickens, but much
extinguishes it.
-- Hannah More
[love/4]
The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep. -W. C. Fields
[paradoxum/42]
November 10, 2025 at 2:00 AM
The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep. -W. C. Fields
[paradoxum/42]
An ancient proverb summed it up: when a wizard is tired of looking for
broken glass in his dinner, it ran, he is tired of life.
-- Terry Pratchett, "The Light Fantastic"
[magic/2]
November 10, 2025 at 1:00 AM
An ancient proverb summed it up: when a wizard is tired of looking for
broken glass in his dinner, it ran, he is tired of life.
-- Terry Pratchett, "The Light Fantastic"
[magic/2]
There is no opinion so absurd that some philosopher will not express it.
-- Marcus Tullius Cicero, "Ad familiares"
[science/522]
November 10, 2025 at 12:00 AM
There is no opinion so absurd that some philosopher will not express it.
-- Marcus Tullius Cicero, "Ad familiares"
[science/522]
Mommy, what happens to your files when you die?
[computers/504]
November 9, 2025 at 11:00 PM
Mommy, what happens to your files when you die?
[computers/504]
<doogie> there is one bad thing about having a cell phone.
<doogie> I can be reached at any time. :|
<wmono> that's why I leave mine off at all times. ;>
[knghtbrd/330]
November 9, 2025 at 10:00 PM
<doogie> there is one bad thing about having a cell phone.
<doogie> I can be reached at any time. :|
<wmono> that's why I leave mine off at all times. ;>
[knghtbrd/330]
If more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would
be a merrier world.
-- J.R.R. Tolkien
[literature/91]
November 9, 2025 at 9:00 PM
If more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would
be a merrier world.
-- J.R.R. Tolkien
[literature/91]
I have just had eighteen whiskeys in a row. I do believe that is a record.
-- Dylan Thomas, his last words
[drugs/62]
November 9, 2025 at 8:00 PM
I have just had eighteen whiskeys in a row. I do believe that is a record.
-- Dylan Thomas, his last words
[drugs/62]
Idaho state law makes it illegal for a man to give his sweetheart
a box of candy weighing less than fifty pounds.
[law/100]
November 9, 2025 at 7:00 PM
Idaho state law makes it illegal for a man to give his sweetheart
a box of candy weighing less than fifty pounds.
[law/100]
Subject: Linux box finds it hard to wake up in the morning
I've heard of dogs being like their owners, but Linux boxen?
-- Peter Hunter <[email protected]>
[linux/197]
November 9, 2025 at 6:00 PM
Subject: Linux box finds it hard to wake up in the morning
I've heard of dogs being like their owners, but Linux boxen?
-- Peter Hunter <[email protected]>
[linux/197]
I generally avoid temptation unless I can't resist it.
-- Mae West
[people/403]
November 9, 2025 at 5:00 PM
I generally avoid temptation unless I can't resist it.
-- Mae West
[people/403]
<barneyfu> knghtbrd: crap, SDL sure makes DGA a helluva alot easier too
doesn't it? :)
<knghtbrd> barneyfu: what DGA?
<barneyfu> mouse dga
<knghtbrd> barneyfu: (does that answer your question?)
<barneyfu> Hahahahaha YEAH! :)
[knghtbrd/445]
November 9, 2025 at 4:00 PM
<barneyfu> knghtbrd: crap, SDL sure makes DGA a helluva alot easier too
doesn't it? :)
<knghtbrd> barneyfu: what DGA?
<barneyfu> mouse dga
<knghtbrd> barneyfu: (does that answer your question?)
<barneyfu> Hahahahaha YEAH! :)
[knghtbrd/445]
... Had this been an actual emergency, we would have fled in terror,
and you would not have been informed.
[news/19]
November 9, 2025 at 3:00 PM
... Had this been an actual emergency, we would have fled in terror,
and you would not have been informed.
[news/19]
Chihuahuas drive me crazy. I can't stand anything that shivers when it's warm.
[pets/12]
November 9, 2025 at 2:00 PM
Chihuahuas drive me crazy. I can't stand anything that shivers when it's warm.
[pets/12]
Youth is when you blame all your troubles on your parents; maturity is
when you learn that everything is the fault of the younger generation.
[kids/149]
November 9, 2025 at 1:00 PM
Youth is when you blame all your troubles on your parents; maturity is
when you learn that everything is the fault of the younger generation.
[kids/149]