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lousylibrarian.bsky.social @lousylibrarian.bsky.social · Jul 19

lousylibrarian.bsky.social @lousylibrarian.bsky.social · Jul 9

I feel like I should apologize to my professional colleagues for the climate of legislative and cultural hostility that has befallen libraries. When I wished on that monkey's paw that people would stop ignoring and being indifferent to our work this wasn't what I had in mind.

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lousylibrarian.bsky.social @lousylibrarian.bsky.social · Jul 8

"Hi, my group is supposed to be meeting at this library, do you know what room they're in?"
"Let me check. What's the name of the group?"
"The Explorers Club."
"I mean I could just tell you but would that get you kicked out?"

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lousylibrarian.bsky.social @lousylibrarian.bsky.social · Jul 5

"Was the library closed yesterday?"
"Yes, for the 249th birthday celebration."
"Wow, the country is 249 years old?"
"Yes, but I'm talking about the dustbunny on the shelf back in the Dewey 800s."

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lousylibrarian.bsky.social @lousylibrarian.bsky.social · Jul 2

"All we want is for the library to hide any materials that include LGBTQ+ content of any kind."
"Well that's obviously problematic. Maybe we can explore a compromise."
"That is the compromise. What we'd really prefer is for that content not to exist at all."

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lousylibrarian.bsky.social @lousylibrarian.bsky.social · Jun 30

If consuming audiobooks isn't reading then stop calling them books amiright

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lousylibrarian.bsky.social @lousylibrarian.bsky.social · Jun 28

Let the record show that the hardworking #saturdaylibrarian will accept your respect and welcome your esteem but honestly would prefer funding.

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lousylibrarian.bsky.social @lousylibrarian.bsky.social · Jun 27

"Listen, it's not that we mind public libraries; we just don't like the people using them or the people working there or the materials on their shelves. Everything else is fine."

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lousylibrarian.bsky.social @lousylibrarian.bsky.social · Jun 26

‘Tis the time of year when the temperature control in the library building notches down a setting, from Elsa to Snow Miser

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lousylibrarian.bsky.social @lousylibrarian.bsky.social · Jun 25

"Hi, I'd like your help with plotting a multi-state car trip..."
"Okay, we can find resources that should help..."
"Wait I'm not finished. --And at the same time my two young children want to talk to you nonstop about what if dinosaurs fought Pokemon."
"Well okay let's do this."

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lousylibrarian.bsky.social @lousylibrarian.bsky.social · Jun 24

There are lots of repeat questions I expected to get at the reference desk as a librarian, but the prevalence of "Can I gift you with this bag of nuts/energy drink/snack cake/loose mint/chapstick" always comes as a surprise.

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lousylibrarian.bsky.social @lousylibrarian.bsky.social · Jun 23

"Do you think a library might be interested in being an archive for my grandmother's notes and papers?"
"That depends. Was your grandmother Harry S Truman?"

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lousylibrarian.bsky.social @lousylibrarian.bsky.social · Jun 20

"Why was the library closed yesterday for something that nobody knows what it is?"
"It's easy to find out what Juneteenth is."
"I would have asked the library but you were closed."
"I'll allow your sick burn but only because it's predicated on the importance of library services."

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lousylibrarian.bsky.social @lousylibrarian.bsky.social · Jun 17

"What's this summer reading thing? You get prizes?"
"Yes, if you participate and complete the challenge the library gives you prizes."
"What kind of prizes? Money?"
"Not money."
"I'd do it if it were money."
"I'll pass your suggestion along to the committee."

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lousylibrarian.bsky.social @lousylibrarian.bsky.social · Jun 16

Hoping to ease slowly into the work week, I reach to answer the ringing phone.
"Thanks for calling the library."
"Hello, I'd like to request assorted specific seasons from long-running British and Australian TV series."
"Okay, which TV series?"
"All of them. Okay, number one..."

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lousylibrarian.bsky.social @lousylibrarian.bsky.social · Jun 14

Tyrone is good 'n' bonkers

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lousylibrarian.bsky.social @lousylibrarian.bsky.social · Jun 14

I hear there's a lot of free speech activity going on today. Schedules being what they are, of course, the #saturdaylibrarian isn't available to protest, except by, y'know, being a librarian.

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lousylibrarian.bsky.social @lousylibrarian.bsky.social · Jun 13

Management encourages us to focus on proposing solutions instead of complaining about problems. But that's just blatantly neglecting my chief skill set.

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lousylibrarian.bsky.social @lousylibrarian.bsky.social · Jun 12

When Beanstack goes down it's a huge hit to our productivity. Not just because of the inconvenience with logging patron signups, but also because of the time lost to library staff collaboratively writing lyrics to the full-on Backstreet Boys parody "Beanstack's Back, All Right."

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lousylibrarian.bsky.social @lousylibrarian.bsky.social · Jun 11

I'm afraid we only own books 2, 5, 6, and 11 in the series. There's only one copy of book 1 in the hemisphere and book 4 doesn't appear ever to have existed. I recommend reading them in random order and tearing occasional chunks of pages out of selected volumes, because why not.

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lousylibrarian.bsky.social @lousylibrarian.bsky.social · Jun 10

"The theme for this year's Summer Reading Program is hope."
"Hope for a better future?"
"No, hope that Beanstack starts working soon."

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lousylibrarian.bsky.social @lousylibrarian.bsky.social · Jun 9

"Did you see the email from the library administrative team? Due to budgetary deficiencies during these difficult times, branches won't get any more plastic ball-point pens."
"Hang on, I'm doing the math."
"What math?"
"How many pens it takes to make up a library administrative salary."

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lousylibrarian.bsky.social @lousylibrarian.bsky.social · Jun 7

It is #saturdaylibrarian time and I am Here For It*

*because I'm obligated to be under the terms of my employment

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lousylibrarian.bsky.social @lousylibrarian.bsky.social · Jun 6

We represent the Library Guild
The Library Guild, the Library Guild
And in the name of the Library Guild
Please put on a shirt

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lousylibrarian.bsky.social @lousylibrarian.bsky.social · Jun 5

"Are you done using that study room?"
"No, I'm just going out for a while."
"Are you coming back soon?"
"No but my stuff's in there. I'll check back in eventually."
"I mean, it's not your summer home."

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