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Low Quality Facts

@lowqualityfacts.bsky.social

52K followers 14K following 9.8K posts

Low Quality Facts written in arguably lower quality handwriting. https://patreon.com/lowqualityfacts

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Low Quality Facts @lowqualityfacts.bsky.social · 17m

We made a comic about a trial.

1 Lawyer: Your honor, let the record show that Mercury was in retrograde when my client stole the vehicle.
2 Judge: I do not see how that is relevant.
3 Lawyer: Such a Scorpio.

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Low Quality Facts @lowqualityfacts.bsky.social · 56m

I like how his eyes are identical to his mouth. Cute on a stuffed cat, pure nightmare fuel on a real cat.

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Low Quality Facts @lowqualityfacts.bsky.social · 1h

Today's Low Quality Ad is for this Surprised Cat Plush. If it's anything like my cats, it's surprised (and disgusted) that dinner is 10 seconds late.
collabs.shop/2yjebq

A white cat plush with black eyes and a surprised expression on my face.

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Low Quality Facts @lowqualityfacts.bsky.social · 2h

Whoops.

Phil Mickelson once blew
a five stroke lead on the
18th hole of The Masters
by driving the ball in the
complete opposite direction.

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Low Quality Facts @lowqualityfacts.bsky.social · 3h

Absolutely appalled that the Nobel Peace Prize has gone woke and has been awarded to a peaceful person. The prize should go to someone with the following qualifications:

-Calls their own citizens animals and scum.
-Uses unmarked vans to kidnap families.
-Human manifestation of pure hatred.

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Low Quality Facts @lowqualityfacts.bsky.social · 4h

My favorite commercial is the one where the guy tells his phone "I like that one song by James Blunt" and then the AI companion on his phone says "James Blunt is a musician. He plays music. Go to a James Blunt concert" and the guy thinks his phone made the greatest technological breakthrough ever.

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Low Quality Facts @lowqualityfacts.bsky.social · 6h

Very suspicious.

Steven Hawking once threw
a party for time travelers,
and announced the party
after it already took
place. Only Nicolas Cage
showed up.

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Low Quality Facts @lowqualityfacts.bsky.social · 18h

Please note that this barbed wire is not edible. It does not specifically state this, but I believe you should not eat it.

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Low Quality Facts @lowqualityfacts.bsky.social · 18h

Are you struggling with gift ideas for a special guy in your life? Well luckily for you, men are not complicated. Men only want one thing, and that is a piece of barbed wire from D-Day. So tonight's Low Quality Ad is for this barbed wire from D-Day.
collabs.shop/so6wxw

A piece of barbed wire encased in glass. It says:
D-Day Barbed Wire
Omaha Beach
(c. 1944)

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Low Quality Facts @lowqualityfacts.bsky.social · 19h

Safety first.

In Georgia, you must
submerge your vehicle
in water and successfully
escape from it to pass
your driver's license
test.

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Low Quality Facts @lowqualityfacts.bsky.social · 20h

Seems like an honest mistake.

"In retrospect,
suppose - can see
how the shampoo
commercial where
ripped off my Klan
hood to reveal
blackface
underneath could be
interpreted as having
racist undertones."
"

-Sydney Sweeney

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Low Quality Facts @lowqualityfacts.bsky.social · 21h

That's so scary.

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Low Quality Facts @lowqualityfacts.bsky.social · 23h

In his defense, they are very different games.

Chess grandmaster Bobby
Fischer lost every
game of checkers he
ever played.

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Low Quality Facts @lowqualityfacts.bsky.social · 1d

That makes sense.

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Low Quality Facts @lowqualityfacts.bsky.social · 1d

Hollerin' leads to Hell. The Bible states this clearly. There is no redemption.

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Low Quality Facts @lowqualityfacts.bsky.social · 1d

Today's Low Quality Ad is for this Hootin' Leads to Hollerin' towel. Heed this warning and heed it well. You don't even want to know what hollerin' leads to.
collabs.shop/jbhydp

A kitchen towel with an owl wearing a cowboy hat on it. It says "Hootin' Leads to Hollerin'".

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Low Quality Facts @lowqualityfacts.bsky.social · 1d

That's a great loophole.

stores are legally
required to give you
a discount if you tell
them that you do not
believe in inflation.

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Low Quality Facts @lowqualityfacts.bsky.social · 1d

Capitalism works. And it's easy to understand. We invest our money in Nvidia so Nvidia can produce more Nvidia chips that Nvidia will sell to Nvidia.

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Low Quality Facts @lowqualityfacts.bsky.social · 1d

That blows my mind.

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Low Quality Facts @lowqualityfacts.bsky.social · 1d

That's helpful to know.

Job applicants have a
70% higher chance of
being hired if their
cover letter is written
in all capital letters.

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Low Quality Facts @lowqualityfacts.bsky.social · 1d

Tossing toothpaste tablets in bottles of coke to even out the negative effects on my enamel.

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Low Quality Facts @lowqualityfacts.bsky.social · 1d

Tonight's Low Quality Ad is for NOBS Toothpaste Tablets. We might not have flying cars, but we finally have toothpaste in tablet form. The future might not be as flashy as we imagined it to be, but our dental hygiene technology could make The Jetsons jealous.
collabs.shop/sznr8i

A small jar with a toothbrush leaning against it. It says NOBS, toothpaste without the BS.

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Low Quality Facts @lowqualityfacts.bsky.social · 1d

That's good to know.

It is possible to grow
an inch or two taller
by rubbing yeast on
the soles of your feet.

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Low Quality Facts @lowqualityfacts.bsky.social · 1d

This is one of my favorite comics we've made.

1 Me: He froze like a deer in the headlights.
2 Deer: Okay tough guy, what would you do?
Me: It’s just an expression.
3 Deer: No, no, no. You’re standing there, suddenly all you see is a blinding light. What’s your plan? I want to hear it.
4 Me, frowning: I would freeze.
Deer: I fucking thought so.

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Low Quality Facts @lowqualityfacts.bsky.social · 1d

Those were simpler times.

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