MAsT ATX loves a shiny service tray, but as a D-type, I remember the time I was silently handed a drink from offscreen during a professional conference call, and the time I had a drink put down on the bar before me without a word while talking to a contest judge. Thank you for the service flex ♥️♥️♥️
It's out! My second essay for Raven Kaldera, "Reparenting M/s", is now published in his compilation on Master/skave relationships with ADHD: "Distracted Dominance and Service with Squirrels!"
Non-TPE, non-24/7 M/s is valid M/s. We stay in our lanes with phrases like "I support your choices" and we change lanes with phrasing like, "would you like to put that under management?"
When asked, "what needs are too much?" about a hypothetical slave seeking a dynamic, remember to reject the premise
D-types are the reverse of the same coin: similar backstories, yet somehow often dodging questions of fitness when we could have asked, "what traits disqualify a D-type for me?"
A less experienced ballroom dance leader can dance with such a skilled follower that his lead feels unnecessary: she's got it for them without the guiding pressure of his intent, to appearances. But in M/s, that guiding pressure IS the "it" to get, likely the point for you both, and not optional
Girl Feeder™ dropped! +Bluey snack boxes, this ADHD & disordered eating accommodation works. It's also an example of decomposing a task until slaves can succeed. At shops, I can say, "pick something for the wall", a task decoupled from actual consumption that nevertheless correlates with consumption
SIGNALING protocols help to establish and maintain a dynamic
When my girl arrives, pants off
That she strips without being told is a signal to me of her continued investment, and a signal to herself that she is my slave -- thus further enslaving herself each time
We frequently suggest starting M/s in an area that is SMALL and FUN, in an existing relationship. With sex, we don't mean "control" so much as establishing low-stakes SIGNALS
Dynamics can begin with one simple idea like, "let's find a position you'll get into, to communicate you're ready to begin."
"That was amazing, let's keep it going" hits different as the ADHD master of ADHD slaves
If it's not daily or a list/calendar item, we 1) decide who'll own the trigger, yet also 2) schedule a future check-in to evaluate as a team whether so casual a system really makes it happen like we want #m/s
"I think we're there, and don't want you missing out on experiencing surrender, so here are some good spots I see for adding explicit CNC, what do you think?"
"I was going to tell you I felt ready for more control. Let's do the first one."
YAGNI (You Ain't Gonna Need It), a software principle I use in M/s dynamic design:
Implement things once you actually need them, never when you just foresee that you will. It is hard for less experienced developers to appreciate how rarely architecting for future requirements turns out net-positive
Recognizing how s-types can nuance their pronunciation of "yes, Master" for meanings ranging from "immediately, master!" to "good one, Master" to "you sure about that, Master?"
Girl3 favors a rapid "YesDaddy!", that's 15% breathy, 70% snappy, and 15% fervent ("I kill"): a fine all-purpose approach
D-type men, where do we fall among "parental" vs "paternal" vs "paternalistic"?
Meaning of paternalistic in English: (of people in authority) making decisions for others rather than letting them take responsibility for their own lives #m/s#ddlg
