MKB
@matthewkbegbie.bsky.social
TV writer, playwright, and future ghost
Currently: ELSBETH on CBS
Previously: Gossip Girl & Schmigadoon
Currently: ELSBETH on CBS
Previously: Gossip Girl & Schmigadoon
20% is not a sale. You're embarrassing yourself!
November 29, 2025 at 8:30 AM
20% is not a sale. You're embarrassing yourself!
No one tells you that 90% of maturing is just learning when to shut the hell up.
November 25, 2025 at 9:27 PM
No one tells you that 90% of maturing is just learning when to shut the hell up.
Reposted by MKB
While on tour promoting 'Wake Up Dead Man', Rian Johnson goes off on AI for “making everything worse in every single way.” bit.ly/47UBPfH
November 22, 2025 at 2:00 AM
While on tour promoting 'Wake Up Dead Man', Rian Johnson goes off on AI for “making everything worse in every single way.” bit.ly/47UBPfH
Once I was entering the UK and they asked what I meant by "WRITER" -- I explained my job to the agent and he replied, "So ... you're unemployed."
Almost a year now since I received this absolutely classic burn from the Canadian government.
November 22, 2025 at 3:03 PM
Once I was entering the UK and they asked what I meant by "WRITER" -- I explained my job to the agent and he replied, "So ... you're unemployed."
Reposted by MKB
Elsbeth doing an episode about a pop star buying a convent after doing a racy music video in a church, combining Katy Perry and Sabrina Carpenter….truly no one is doing it like Robert and Michelle King
November 21, 2025 at 1:27 PM
Elsbeth doing an episode about a pop star buying a convent after doing a racy music video in a church, combining Katy Perry and Sabrina Carpenter….truly no one is doing it like Robert and Michelle King
I fear I'm in a dark place. I'm considering catching up on Dexter.
August 23, 2025 at 3:17 AM
I fear I'm in a dark place. I'm considering catching up on Dexter.
I do NOT need AI to explain to me what Tracy Turnblad already has!!!
August 6, 2025 at 12:03 AM
I do NOT need AI to explain to me what Tracy Turnblad already has!!!
Someone give their casting director a Nobel Prize.
July 17, 2025 at 5:32 AM
Someone give their casting director a Nobel Prize.
Tamra, my AI girlfriend who I programmed to only say nice things about me, agrees that my bitch wife and three annoying kids are having a negative impact on my mental health.
July 9, 2025 at 4:46 AM
Tamra, my AI girlfriend who I programmed to only say nice things about me, agrees that my bitch wife and three annoying kids are having a negative impact on my mental health.
Yapped my heart out at the gay bar.
I think I found my calling.
I think I found my calling.
June 27, 2025 at 8:04 AM
Yapped my heart out at the gay bar.
I think I found my calling.
I think I found my calling.
I think whatever loyalty (if any) I have toward JetBlue comes from how grateful I am that they flew Elle Woods to her Harvard personal essay performance.
June 22, 2025 at 7:11 PM
I think whatever loyalty (if any) I have toward JetBlue comes from how grateful I am that they flew Elle Woods to her Harvard personal essay performance.
I honestly almost witnessed a mutiny when the DJ on the pride boat party wearing a name tag that said "ALLY" started playing Monster and changed the song before Nicki's verse.
Genuinely almost watched that man go overboard.
They said WALK THE PLANK.
Genuinely almost watched that man go overboard.
They said WALK THE PLANK.
June 21, 2025 at 11:26 PM
I honestly almost witnessed a mutiny when the DJ on the pride boat party wearing a name tag that said "ALLY" started playing Monster and changed the song before Nicki's verse.
Genuinely almost watched that man go overboard.
They said WALK THE PLANK.
Genuinely almost watched that man go overboard.
They said WALK THE PLANK.
You know you can trust a woman named Maureen.
June 21, 2025 at 10:25 PM
You know you can trust a woman named Maureen.
Paul King, the obvious casting is RIGHT THERE.
June 21, 2025 at 5:04 AM
Paul King, the obvious casting is RIGHT THERE.
Me on a pride party boat tomorrow:
June 21, 2025 at 4:19 AM
Me on a pride party boat tomorrow:
Reposted by MKB
"I asked ChatGPT" Okay well I took my love, I took it down, climbed a mountain and I turned around, and I saw my reflection in the snow covered hills 'til the landslide brought me down.
June 21, 2025 at 4:12 AM
"I asked ChatGPT" Okay well I took my love, I took it down, climbed a mountain and I turned around, and I saw my reflection in the snow covered hills 'til the landslide brought me down.
One day I will return to Twitter and I will fully understand how Norma Desmond felt walking back onto the Paramount lot.
June 19, 2025 at 4:32 AM
One day I will return to Twitter and I will fully understand how Norma Desmond felt walking back onto the Paramount lot.
I'm here today to give you permission to unfollow your happy ex! You don't need to see that!
June 18, 2025 at 6:18 PM
I'm here today to give you permission to unfollow your happy ex! You don't need to see that!
A dear friend trusted me with a secret that becomes public information tomorrow and I'm thrilled that none of the dozens of people I've told have ruined this for me yet!
June 18, 2025 at 2:08 AM
A dear friend trusted me with a secret that becomes public information tomorrow and I'm thrilled that none of the dozens of people I've told have ruined this for me yet!
Your twink is lovely, Hubble.
June 17, 2025 at 4:27 PM
Your twink is lovely, Hubble.
Another photo of me smirking with a martini in hand. Groundbreaking stuff over here.
June 17, 2025 at 1:46 AM
Another photo of me smirking with a martini in hand. Groundbreaking stuff over here.