Matt Stallings
@mattstallings.bsky.social
I keep getting ads for traveling to Southeast Asia area... Which is strange because I already been through Southeast Asia...hmmm
Is this the algorithms way of trying to hint that I need to get the fuck out of the country?, lol
Is this the algorithms way of trying to hint that I need to get the fuck out of the country?, lol
October 29, 2025 at 2:47 AM
I keep getting ads for traveling to Southeast Asia area... Which is strange because I already been through Southeast Asia...hmmm
Is this the algorithms way of trying to hint that I need to get the fuck out of the country?, lol
Is this the algorithms way of trying to hint that I need to get the fuck out of the country?, lol
They need to make a Doritos locos crunch wrap supreme
October 25, 2025 at 11:58 PM
They need to make a Doritos locos crunch wrap supreme
I'm still upset to the fact that toys were never made for The Dark Crystal
October 23, 2025 at 12:44 AM
I'm still upset to the fact that toys were never made for The Dark Crystal
At what point does the amount of spray tan Donald Trump uses become blackface? 😆
October 21, 2025 at 3:08 AM
At what point does the amount of spray tan Donald Trump uses become blackface? 😆
So you know how you'll hit skip when it comes to dialogue in a game sometimes?
I've started doing that IRL to people when I don't want to hear what they're saying....
It absolutely entertains the fuck out of me how mad people get.
Get all up in my face and I'm just like "skip!" And walk away 😆😆
I've started doing that IRL to people when I don't want to hear what they're saying....
It absolutely entertains the fuck out of me how mad people get.
Get all up in my face and I'm just like "skip!" And walk away 😆😆
October 17, 2025 at 11:06 PM
So you know how you'll hit skip when it comes to dialogue in a game sometimes?
I've started doing that IRL to people when I don't want to hear what they're saying....
It absolutely entertains the fuck out of me how mad people get.
Get all up in my face and I'm just like "skip!" And walk away 😆😆
I've started doing that IRL to people when I don't want to hear what they're saying....
It absolutely entertains the fuck out of me how mad people get.
Get all up in my face and I'm just like "skip!" And walk away 😆😆
"damn, she sounds cool"
Say this when a man is complaining about something his "crazy ex" did to him...
Alternatively, you could say, "whoa Legend"
Say this when a man is complaining about something his "crazy ex" did to him...
Alternatively, you could say, "whoa Legend"
October 16, 2025 at 10:21 AM
"damn, she sounds cool"
Say this when a man is complaining about something his "crazy ex" did to him...
Alternatively, you could say, "whoa Legend"
Say this when a man is complaining about something his "crazy ex" did to him...
Alternatively, you could say, "whoa Legend"
When you pull a muscle in your neck so bad that you end up having to turn your entire body to look at things the rest of the day like Michael Keaton's Batman
October 11, 2025 at 1:02 AM
When you pull a muscle in your neck so bad that you end up having to turn your entire body to look at things the rest of the day like Michael Keaton's Batman
Trump is due for his annual checkup tomorrow.
No matter how bad your life may be, just remember that there's someone that has to give Trump a prostate exam.
No matter how bad your life may be, just remember that there's someone that has to give Trump a prostate exam.
October 10, 2025 at 5:55 AM
Trump is due for his annual checkup tomorrow.
No matter how bad your life may be, just remember that there's someone that has to give Trump a prostate exam.
No matter how bad your life may be, just remember that there's someone that has to give Trump a prostate exam.
You achieve happiness by simply lowering your standards until you succeed by accident.
October 9, 2025 at 7:07 AM
You achieve happiness by simply lowering your standards until you succeed by accident.
Pumpkin spice cottage cheese
October 9, 2025 at 6:38 AM
Pumpkin spice cottage cheese
I fucking hate it when I'm a day early for an appointment, lol
October 9, 2025 at 2:23 AM
I fucking hate it when I'm a day early for an appointment, lol
Don’t believe everything you read in public toilets. Kristi Noem is NOT up for a good time. What an awkward phone call that was!
October 9, 2025 at 12:53 AM
Don’t believe everything you read in public toilets. Kristi Noem is NOT up for a good time. What an awkward phone call that was!
The only boots worth licking are worn by goth girls
October 8, 2025 at 1:24 AM
The only boots worth licking are worn by goth girls
So why doesn't the governors of some of these states activate their national guard to fight back against the Trump administration?
The National guard exist literally to protect state sovereignty against federal overreach, That's literally what the second amendment is about
The National guard exist literally to protect state sovereignty against federal overreach, That's literally what the second amendment is about
October 6, 2025 at 10:14 PM
So why doesn't the governors of some of these states activate their national guard to fight back against the Trump administration?
The National guard exist literally to protect state sovereignty against federal overreach, That's literally what the second amendment is about
The National guard exist literally to protect state sovereignty against federal overreach, That's literally what the second amendment is about
I have both an Android and an iPhone and I use them both daily...
And I don't think descriptors exist in the English language to describe how much I fucking hate iPhones...
I've had this iPhone for 2 years and it still fucking impossible
Fuck iPhones forever...
And I don't think descriptors exist in the English language to describe how much I fucking hate iPhones...
I've had this iPhone for 2 years and it still fucking impossible
Fuck iPhones forever...
October 6, 2025 at 7:31 PM
I have both an Android and an iPhone and I use them both daily...
And I don't think descriptors exist in the English language to describe how much I fucking hate iPhones...
I've had this iPhone for 2 years and it still fucking impossible
Fuck iPhones forever...
And I don't think descriptors exist in the English language to describe how much I fucking hate iPhones...
I've had this iPhone for 2 years and it still fucking impossible
Fuck iPhones forever...
I pour the milk in the bowl first before adding my cereal
October 6, 2025 at 11:21 AM
I pour the milk in the bowl first before adding my cereal
Your mouth is never empty, it's always full of tongue
October 6, 2025 at 6:30 AM
Your mouth is never empty, it's always full of tongue
If you invite me somewhere, and I have to parallel park, I'm not coming...
October 6, 2025 at 6:27 AM
If you invite me somewhere, and I have to parallel park, I'm not coming...
I get in the shower and THEN I turn the water on
October 3, 2025 at 7:19 AM
I get in the shower and THEN I turn the water on
The double stuffed Oreo is the superior Oreo
October 2, 2025 at 12:08 PM
The double stuffed Oreo is the superior Oreo
Say what you will, I still think the Queen of the damn soundtrack is one of the best albums that have ever come out
October 1, 2025 at 10:26 PM
Say what you will, I still think the Queen of the damn soundtrack is one of the best albums that have ever come out
The tongue is the closest thing humans have to a tentacle.
September 25, 2025 at 12:08 AM
The tongue is the closest thing humans have to a tentacle.
Inconvenient places to be when you get raptured
Getting a mammogram
Dog show
Porta potty
Getting a mammogram
Dog show
Porta potty
September 23, 2025 at 11:38 AM
Inconvenient places to be when you get raptured
Getting a mammogram
Dog show
Porta potty
Getting a mammogram
Dog show
Porta potty
