...I just don't know how to keep them all safe now.Or to smile and pretend that it's all going to be fine. Because it's not.
Humans never really learn.
I know no one will see this, but screaming into this void has been somewhat cathartic.

..for daring to bring a new life into this total shitshow and spiral further. The oldest was talking about school and some things they read and how in their opinion Malcom X wasn't really wrong...and I was proud of my white kid from the south seeing what desperation drives people to. ...

...I am constantly reading everything happening...sending me in a deep spiral of dread, desperation, and doom. And then I think of my kids. 2 teenagers well aware of what's happening..of which is gender queer...and a toddler who will only know the "after times" and then I feel incredibly guilty...

I am a blue dot in a sea of red and just cannot fathom how anyone around me can justify any of what is happening.See, I have the fun neurospiciness that never allows my brain to be silent which leads to a lot of hyperfixation and due to a fear of being ignorant to the politics rapidly unfolding...

I'm not okay.My body is in a constant state of 'fight or flight' rn as I watch the country I live in being taken over run by greed and hatred and I am in a position where I cannot effectively do either. Sure, I can stand in the streets and protest but we all know it's to no avail at this point...