The Deus ex Speedingcar is so overused and eye-rolly for me. Please stop killing characters in streets with a speeding car out of nowhere. #film #indiefilm #independentfilm #filmmaker #filmmaking #screenwriter #screenwriting

Last night’s #Oscars was a celebration of two things to which I’ve given a lot of energy and even more money. Independent film and sex workers. I’m joking, of course. I’ve only made two independent films. #indiefilm

I’ve followed the Blake Lively/Justin Baldoni drama and read the transcript of the voicemail he left. I don’t think it’s forgivable for Justin to have said “two a.m. in the morning.” Say “two a.m.” or “two in the morning,” Justin. Simply unforgivable. It must end with us.

Another college production of The Blue Martini, this one at Illinois Wesleyan University. Super stoked that people are still doing my 1st full-length play around the country. Goal this year is to publish The Blue Martini, this is great inspiration!

Beautiful day in upstate NY. Shoulda scheduled the eclipse for today, science nerds.

#StateoftheUnion audience is unhinged. They should hire a comedian to stand next to Joe, like, “Hey, Marjorie, you look like you got lost bar hopping in Nashville. We might have to kick you out. And it looks like you’re having much less fun than your friend Lauren at Beetlejuice. Back to you, Joe.”

"Super Reviewer." Rotten Tomatoes are always better with a grain of salt.

Great review of a dive bar near my house (not $50-100). Love the one star and glowing review that sounds like someone jacked up on coke. Pure literature.

They keep saying this is the first major snowstorm for NYC in 2 years, like that’s a long time. That just means there wasn’t a major snowstorm last year. You can’t really count summers in that. I think we all probably remember how to handle it.