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Hermione, Texas Granger

@misterfungi.bsky.social

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Hermione, Texas Granger @misterfungi.bsky.social · Dec 11

the Wikipedia entry for axolotls reads like a Cake song

Their heads are wide, and their eyes are lidless. Their limbs are underdeveloped and possess long, thin digits.

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Hermione, Texas Granger @misterfungi.bsky.social · 1h

yeah, that kind of thing is just obscene

Kid Rock lyrics to the song “So Hott”

Because you know you're so hot, I want to get you alone
So hot, I want to get you stoned So hot, I don't wanna be your friend
I want to fuck you like I'm never gonna see you again
Yeah

Repeated 2 more times because they are so good

Hermione, Texas Granger @misterfungi.bsky.social · 3h

i have purchased a contraption

A can of cider with the lid removed via the draft top lift tool so that you can drink from can like it is a glass. Is there a point to this? Nobody knows for sure.

Hermione, Texas Granger @misterfungi.bsky.social · 6h

i have a theory

Debris in the ground from the video about the explosion at an ammunition plant with the words “The cause of the explosion was not immediately clear” overlayed

Hermione, Texas Granger @misterfungi.bsky.social · 8h

Literally no, Brad. They were all fired.

Hermione, Texas Granger @misterfungi.bsky.social · 8h

in spider years. you have to divide by 8 ~5.375 human years

Hermione, Texas Granger @misterfungi.bsky.social · 10h

I’ve been playing (stupidly) the “move your retirement account around” game lately and every time I think I made a mistake and missed some gains, something happens to drive it back down to where I’d be in the same place anyway.

Hermione, Texas Granger @misterfungi.bsky.social · 10h

Everyone knows this is a bubble and the are looking for *any* signs of it popping and reacting accordingly. Pretty scary actually.

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Hermione, Texas Granger @misterfungi.bsky.social · 10h

I was just about to ask what was going on and if I missed a bank collapse or something.

Hermione, Texas Granger @misterfungi.bsky.social · 11h

Card of the day - Fred Merkle T206.

Fred is best known for “Merkle’s Boner,” a baserunning error that cost his team - the NY Giants - the 1908 pennant.

Fred is feeling a little bit better today.

A topps t206 Fred Merkle throwing card.

In 1908 Merkle was on first base in a tie game with 2 out and the winning run on third. Al Bridwell singled down the line and the winning run scored. Fans stormed the field, and Merkle ran to the dugout without touching second base (allegedly). At some point, a ball was produced by the Cubs and eventually made its way to Johnny Evers who touched second base, completing the force out on Merkle and negating the run. The game ended in a 1-1 tie on account of darkness.

At the end of the season the Giants and Cubs were tied and a makeup game was played in which the Cubs were victorious and advanced to the World Series which they won 4 games to 1. They would not win again until 2016.

Hermione, Texas Granger @misterfungi.bsky.social · 12h

they were mostly obsolete by then. who can forget those famous lines:

“Nay, as they dare. I will bite my thumb drive at them, which is a disgrace to them, if they bear it.”

Hermione, Texas Granger @misterfungi.bsky.social · 12h

only if it's horror

the "jeepers creepers" movie poster with chris kattans face as mr. peepers coming through some leather sack thingy. the title has been changed to "peepers, no"

Hermione, Texas Granger @misterfungi.bsky.social · 14h

can’t even use the military on your own people and win the nobel peace prize anymore because of woke

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Hermione, Texas Granger @misterfungi.bsky.social · 23h

Wait until this guy learns about Sinatra

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Hermione, Texas Granger @misterfungi.bsky.social · 23h

i used to have a dog that could do that

A white smallish dog jumping very high into the air to catch a snowball in her mouth

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Hermione, Texas Granger @misterfungi.bsky.social · 1d

ohhhhh i finally get it now. yeah, that seems like a very weak argument

Hermione, Texas Granger @misterfungi.bsky.social · 1d

At least with peacock you can watch NBC. I have no way of seeing the prime games.

Hermione, Texas Granger @misterfungi.bsky.social · 1d

and why was he replaced with Kyle Stowers?

Hermione, Texas Granger @misterfungi.bsky.social · 1d

Mark McGwire on the Simpsons saying “erainale
OR DO YOU WANNA SEE ME SOCKA FEW DINGERS?”

Hermione, Texas Granger @misterfungi.bsky.social · 1d

i may have confused a few stories

Hermione, Texas Granger @misterfungi.bsky.social · 1d

drake indicted on circumcision fraud

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Hermione, Texas Granger @misterfungi.bsky.social · 1d

max jacobson was practicing medicine the right way

Hermione, Texas Granger @misterfungi.bsky.social · 1d

a man in a blue shirt says " no doubt "

Alt: Uncle Rico in napoleon dynamite reminiscing about his high school football days

media.tenor.com

Hermione, Texas Granger @misterfungi.bsky.social · 1d

do we have to?

Hermione, Texas Granger @misterfungi.bsky.social · 1d

already got the theme song too

I Don't Want To Miss A Thing

YouTube video by Mark Chesnutt - Topic

m.youtube.com

Hermione, Texas Granger @misterfungi.bsky.social · 1d

actually, autism is caused by a tiny fish that swims up your pee hole but has difficulty getting past the foreskin

Acyn @acyn.bsky.social · 1d

RFK JR: There are many other confirmations -- there are two studies that show children who are circumcised early have double the rate of autism. It’s highly likely because they are given Tylenol

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