Author | Lightnews

monstersnowgoon.bsky.social @monstersnowgoon.bsky.social · 16h

That’s cocaine with the confetti, right?

monstersnowgoon.bsky.social @monstersnowgoon.bsky.social · 17h

Right? I feel like The Onion could switch to real news and we wouldn’t notice.

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monstersnowgoon.bsky.social @monstersnowgoon.bsky.social · 17h

“It’s the measles, they’ve finally come for me!” a hysterical RDK jr said, running out of the White House.

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monstersnowgoon.bsky.social @monstersnowgoon.bsky.social · 17h

If you think that’s bad, the Kentucky Secretary of State had to put out an official notice that Kentucky wasn’t having elections this year and Kentucky voters couldn’t vote for NYC Mayor or Virginia Governor.

www.the-independent.com/news/world/a...

Kentucky official forced to remind residents they can’t vote in NYC election

‘Have I mentioned my repeated call for civic education,’ said Kentucky Secretary of State Michael Adams

www.the-independent.com

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monstersnowgoon.bsky.social @monstersnowgoon.bsky.social · 18h

Why didn’t it start when I clicked Play? Is this extra three seconds a trailer of a trailer?

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monstersnowgoon.bsky.social @monstersnowgoon.bsky.social · 19h

I gotta admit, I read this book when I was a kid and thought it was great, especially the parts about the boobs, I honestly didn’t remember the Mormon propaganda, I do remember losing interest halfway through with the lack of demon killing.

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monstersnowgoon.bsky.social @monstersnowgoon.bsky.social · 20h

Looking forward to five-year-gaps between seasons of this as well

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monstersnowgoon.bsky.social @monstersnowgoon.bsky.social · 21h

Space Force is like five people in an office in the Pentagon looking at satellites on a computer, you need to let them out to stretch their legs every now and again or the Marines dunk their heads in a toilet.

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monstersnowgoon.bsky.social @monstersnowgoon.bsky.social · 22h

What In Tarnation GIF

Alt: A confused Kentucky man reacting to news that he cannot vote in elections for non-Kentucky governments.

media.tenor.com

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monstersnowgoon.bsky.social @monstersnowgoon.bsky.social · 1d

Wait, this fucking thing is 82 goddamn dollars a month?! Jesus christ, I saw nothing of value in it before I knew that.

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monstersnowgoon.bsky.social @monstersnowgoon.bsky.social · 1d

So Verge just doing PR for Tinder now, eh?

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monstersnowgoon.bsky.social @monstersnowgoon.bsky.social · 1d

They kept spewing this narrative that voting for Curtis Silwa was going to split the vote and hand the election to Mamdani on a technicality, then the results came back and Cuomo was gonna lose even if 100% of Silwa voters went to Cuomo ( which never would’ve happened). It’s fucking beautiful.

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monstersnowgoon.bsky.social @monstersnowgoon.bsky.social · 1d

You look over your shoulder and see her that bladder won’t be shy anymore.

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monstersnowgoon.bsky.social @monstersnowgoon.bsky.social · 1d

We win when we show up. That means showing up to every boring election. Tedious city council vote between candidates you’ve never heard of? Figure out who they are and go vote. Initiated measure #5 about changing road signs? Go vote on that. Democracy is stolen when we aren’t paying attention.

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monstersnowgoon.bsky.social @monstersnowgoon.bsky.social · 1d

Reads like an LLM-produced chat.

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monstersnowgoon.bsky.social @monstersnowgoon.bsky.social · 1d

They smell even worse when you get some good rotten garbage in there. Spoiled meat-level odor with your faux-lavender/plastic scent. I don’t know why these are still a thing. Some people must just not have noses or something.

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monstersnowgoon.bsky.social @monstersnowgoon.bsky.social · 2d

Texas voting law changes (you gotta be a citizen to vote) backed by GOP passed in Texas, but that’s never really surprising, its fucking Texas. Similar legislation was struck down in Maine though.

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monstersnowgoon.bsky.social @monstersnowgoon.bsky.social · 2d

Just another jag-off trying to be the new Rush Limbaugh now that Charlie Kirk’s dead. There’ll always be a new one.

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monstersnowgoon.bsky.social @monstersnowgoon.bsky.social · 2d

When Stacy turns around its not that she’s leaving to avoid a fight, it’s because she’s getting ready to kick your head across the room.

a man in a red shirt is walking with a horse on a street .

Alt: a man in a red shirt is walking with a horse on a street, horse kicks another man in the head

media.tenor.com

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monstersnowgoon.bsky.social @monstersnowgoon.bsky.social · 2d

My Great grandmothers were pretty short, but their children and grandchildren were very tall. Turns out getting pregnant at 15-16 stunts your growth.

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monstersnowgoon.bsky.social @monstersnowgoon.bsky.social · 2d

If you can’t sell pizza you can’t sell anything. I’m betting this is another private equity firm gutting a brand to pick its carcass for scrap.

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monstersnowgoon.bsky.social @monstersnowgoon.bsky.social · 2d

Hell yeah!

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monstersnowgoon.bsky.social @monstersnowgoon.bsky.social · 2d

Negotiations were finalized between Cheney and Hell LLC for Cheney to take over as CEO, current founder and CEO Lucifer Morningstar set to retire.
“The relocation was a bit rough, but all my friends are here!” Cheney said.

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monstersnowgoon.bsky.social @monstersnowgoon.bsky.social · 3d

a man wearing a party hat is blowing out a balloon

Alt: a man wearing a party hat is blowing out a kazoo

media.tenor.com

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monstersnowgoon.bsky.social @monstersnowgoon.bsky.social · 3d

Another round of our favorite game: Lying or Senile!

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