NewsThump
@newsthump.com
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2.5K posts
Topical satire from the UK and around the world. You're not supposed to believe what we write, you idiot.
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NewsThump
@newsthump.com
· 22h
Fury as man who threatened to invade Greenland and who uses military against own people fails to win Nobel Peace Prize
Donald Trump has once again been cruelly snubbed by the Nobel Peace Prize committee, despite what he insists was an “incredible” year of personal achievements in the field of “peace, which is very …
newsthump.com
NewsThump
@newsthump.com
· 2d
Woman whose party couldn’t spell ‘Britain’ decides English degrees are a ‘rip-off’
Conservative leader Kemi Badenoch has today announced plans to reduce student numbers taking worthless degrees ‘like English’, just 24 hours after her party spectacularly failed to spel…
newsthump.com
NewsThump
@newsthump.com
· 3d
Irony-free Reform supporter who’s spent nine years telling people ‘You lost, get over it!’ now demanding another general election after 15 months
A man who spent the best part of a decade telling anyone who didn’t like how things were going that they ‘lost’ and should ‘get over it’, is rather keen for everyone t…
newsthump.com
NewsThump
@newsthump.com
· 4d
Man busy plotting excruciating revenge against co-worker who used his coffee cup
Office worker Simon Williams has spent the morning devising cruel and unusual punishments for the utter bastard that deliberately used his coffee cup. The crime was uncovered at approximately …
buff.ly
NewsThump
@newsthump.com
· 6d
OPINION: I will not stay at home in fear of a storm that 99.9999% of the population will survive
The mainstream media has been too quick to buy into the fear narrative of the so-called experts, and no one is focussing on the fact that Storm Amy is incredibly unlikely to kill you.
newsthump.com
NewsThump
@newsthump.com
· 7d
Dave Chappelle heading home from Saudi comedy festival crammed inside suitcase after bravely mocking freedom-loving Saudi regime
Comedy legend Dave Chappelle is said to be travelling home from Riyadh in a brand-new “human-sized carry-on,” after what insiders are calling his “bravest gig of his career.”
newsthump.com
