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Ernest Borgten

@nonseriousstuff.bsky.social

42 followers 39 following 120 posts

Hot takes, jokes and non serious thoughts

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Ernest Borgten @nonseriousstuff.bsky.social · Jan 14

Gender labels for God are weird. I don't want to visualize a supreme being hanging all powerful dong

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Ernest Borgten @nonseriousstuff.bsky.social · 2d

It's like meeting the Ant-Man of your dreams, then meeting his beautiful Wasp

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Ernest Borgten @nonseriousstuff.bsky.social · 21d

Food shrinkflation really shows that food manufacturers don't give a single fuck about healthy portion sizes

Ernest Borgten @nonseriousstuff.bsky.social · Sep 15

Voting for the city council, and it is 80% absolute fucking idiots. Just barely able to fill my ballot with people who aren't using their political profile to say gravity is a deep state hoax.

Ernest Borgten @nonseriousstuff.bsky.social · Sep 9

Maybe they can have AI listen to it as well

Ernest Borgten @nonseriousstuff.bsky.social · Sep 9

Australians are so pro-Palestine 20% of them are named Gaza

Ernest Borgten @nonseriousstuff.bsky.social · Aug 30

Can't wait to start hoping Vance is dead

Ernest Borgten @nonseriousstuff.bsky.social · Aug 29

Dudes on Twitter think they don't need basic hygiene because autism causes vaccines

Ernest Borgten @nonseriousstuff.bsky.social · Aug 26

If the meek ever do inherit the earth, the bullies will just take it back from them immediately

Ernest Borgten @nonseriousstuff.bsky.social · Aug 26

I started doing stand up comedy because I'm an exhibitionist with a fetish for dry humping stools

Ernest Borgten @nonseriousstuff.bsky.social · Aug 22

I wholeheartedly apologize to anyone I offended yesterday at the comedy open mic when I came on stage with my dick hanging out of my pants, and my pubes shaved to look like Hitler's mustache. That was meant to be my closer.

Ernest Borgten @nonseriousstuff.bsky.social · Aug 6

It was a shame to hear so many references to Hitler and Nazis last night at the open mic. That was 80 years ago! There is lots of bad shit happening right now to talk about!

Ernest Borgten @nonseriousstuff.bsky.social · Aug 5

Maybe if we let the fascists grind their boot heel in our faces a bit longer they will be willing to compromise. It's not much, but it's the strongest form of protest social media will allow us to talk about

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Ernest Borgten @nonseriousstuff.bsky.social · Jul 24

I never understood why in Street Fighter 4 hits is just fine, but one more hit and the game calls it a Shit combo

Ernest Borgten @nonseriousstuff.bsky.social · Jul 24

Sure, Donald's name appears in the files, but only 18000 times more than anyone else.

Ernest Borgten @nonseriousstuff.bsky.social · Jul 20

Circumcision - for when you've eaten the whole placenta but you are still hungry

Ernest Borgten @nonseriousstuff.bsky.social · Jul 20

I was upset about the cost of living until I looked into the cost of dying

Ernest Borgten @nonseriousstuff.bsky.social · Jul 9

Gave up sex to focus on stand up comedy, a fair trade because they are both semi regular six minute spots on a Wednesday

Ernest Borgten @nonseriousstuff.bsky.social · Jul 5

Bad news, the cancer has metastasized and is growing rapidly. I was hoping that reasoning with it would give me the time to vote it out in the midterms 2 years from now

Ernest Borgten @nonseriousstuff.bsky.social · Jul 4

Every day I have a handful of unsalted peanuts, and every evening I spend 20 minutes sucking the salt off tomorrow's nuts so they can dry off overnight.

Ernest Borgten @nonseriousstuff.bsky.social · Jun 11

A stupid friend of mine saw a crime, and the police put him in witless protection

Ernest Borgten @nonseriousstuff.bsky.social · Jun 10

I'm hearing rumors Nintendo is going to release a prequel to Mario Odyssey, called Mario Illiad.

Ernest Borgten @nonseriousstuff.bsky.social · Jun 7

Wifesplaining is when my better half tells me a story I'm to emotionally stunted to understand about people I've met dozens of times but can't remember their names

Ernest Borgten @nonseriousstuff.bsky.social · Jun 3

It always cracks me up when people say something is porpoise built, like how the heck are dolphins building anything with their flippers?

Ernest Borgten @nonseriousstuff.bsky.social · May 19

If The Sound of Music was made today, where do you think they would use the one "fuck" the movies rating would allow

Ernest Borgten @nonseriousstuff.bsky.social · May 19

Not a bad speech, I'd give it an A, or 86/100