Fake Muriel Bowser
@notmurielbowser.bsky.social
As your Mayor, my top priority is making sure that every business gets a Fair Shot. You can read more about my accomplishments in my 136-Month Progress Report, coming to your mailbox May 2026.
This account is 100% corporate PAC funded and 100% satire.
This account is 100% corporate PAC funded and 100% satire.
Pinned
Good morning! Every day I wake up excited and honored to have the opportunity to help my constituents: business owners who may or may not live here.
But wait, there’s more:
–paved over Black Lives Matter Plaza.
–cut early childhood educator pay.
–cut emergency rental assistance.
–let Federal low income housing funds lapse.
–bulldozed homeless encampments & brought back congregate shelters.
Can’t wait to “run through the tape” in ‘26!
–paved over Black Lives Matter Plaza.
–cut early childhood educator pay.
–cut emergency rental assistance.
–let Federal low income housing funds lapse.
–bulldozed homeless encampments & brought back congregate shelters.
Can’t wait to “run through the tape” in ‘26!
2025 wrapped:
–made it easier to evict tenants & lock up kids.
–enriched developers & sports team owners.
–took healthcare away from the underinsured to fund business tax breaks.
–collaborated w/Federal law enforcement to obliterate DC’s status as a sanctuary city.
Promises made, promises kept!
–made it easier to evict tenants & lock up kids.
–enriched developers & sports team owners.
–took healthcare away from the underinsured to fund business tax breaks.
–collaborated w/Federal law enforcement to obliterate DC’s status as a sanctuary city.
Promises made, promises kept!
December 4, 2025 at 1:26 AM
But wait, there’s more:
–paved over Black Lives Matter Plaza.
–cut early childhood educator pay.
–cut emergency rental assistance.
–let Federal low income housing funds lapse.
–bulldozed homeless encampments & brought back congregate shelters.
Can’t wait to “run through the tape” in ‘26!
–paved over Black Lives Matter Plaza.
–cut early childhood educator pay.
–cut emergency rental assistance.
–let Federal low income housing funds lapse.
–bulldozed homeless encampments & brought back congregate shelters.
Can’t wait to “run through the tape” in ‘26!
2025 wrapped:
–made it easier to evict tenants & lock up kids.
–enriched developers & sports team owners.
–took healthcare away from the underinsured to fund business tax breaks.
–collaborated w/Federal law enforcement to obliterate DC’s status as a sanctuary city.
Promises made, promises kept!
–made it easier to evict tenants & lock up kids.
–enriched developers & sports team owners.
–took healthcare away from the underinsured to fund business tax breaks.
–collaborated w/Federal law enforcement to obliterate DC’s status as a sanctuary city.
Promises made, promises kept!
December 3, 2025 at 10:00 PM
2025 wrapped:
–made it easier to evict tenants & lock up kids.
–enriched developers & sports team owners.
–took healthcare away from the underinsured to fund business tax breaks.
–collaborated w/Federal law enforcement to obliterate DC’s status as a sanctuary city.
Promises made, promises kept!
–made it easier to evict tenants & lock up kids.
–enriched developers & sports team owners.
–took healthcare away from the underinsured to fund business tax breaks.
–collaborated w/Federal law enforcement to obliterate DC’s status as a sanctuary city.
Promises made, promises kept!
Wishing a happy Thanksgiving to the developers and businesses that make DC’s economy great.
November 27, 2025 at 2:03 PM
Wishing a happy Thanksgiving to the developers and businesses that make DC’s economy great.
What I love about the American center-left is the more you shit on them, the more they fawn over you.
Wishing all the best to Mayor Bowser after her tough but heartfelt decision to not seek reelection
During Obama, Biden, & Trump presidencies, a once-in-a-century pandemic, & DC athletic accomplishments, Mayor Bowser has been there for the District. Come 2027, she will be missed.
During Obama, Biden, & Trump presidencies, a once-in-a-century pandemic, & DC athletic accomplishments, Mayor Bowser has been there for the District. Come 2027, she will be missed.
November 26, 2025 at 2:59 AM
What I love about the American center-left is the more you shit on them, the more they fawn over you.
It’s been real, but the Commanders’ offer to be VP of Sinecures was too good to pass up
November 25, 2025 at 7:33 PM
It’s been real, but the Commanders’ offer to be VP of Sinecures was too good to pass up
Aside from not giving a fuck about poor people, this was a big reason why I didn’t publicize that we’d be taking ERAP applications again.
For months there have been clues that today's re-opening of ERAP would go badly. But no amount of Council oversight could have predicted this debacle. Providing dignified service to residents with housing instability should not be so difficult.
brianneknadeau.com/statement-re...
brianneknadeau.com/statement-re...
November 21, 2025 at 12:02 AM
Aside from not giving a fuck about poor people, this was a big reason why I didn’t publicize that we’d be taking ERAP applications again.
Please note that our Landlord Assistance Portal never closes. Call DHCD and become a LAPdog today!
🚨 DC’s ERAP portal is open! 🚨
Schedule an appointment now: 👇🏾
Schedule an appointment now: 👇🏾
🚨 Applications for DC’s Emergency Rental Assistance Program open tomorrow! 🚨
Starting at 9am on November 20th, residents can call 202-507-6666 to schedule an appointment.
ERAP funds run out quickly, so make sure to have your materials on hand before scheduling begins.
Starting at 9am on November 20th, residents can call 202-507-6666 to schedule an appointment.
ERAP funds run out quickly, so make sure to have your materials on hand before scheduling begins.
November 20, 2025 at 2:32 PM
Please note that our Landlord Assistance Portal never closes. Call DHCD and become a LAPdog today!
Look, I know something about elevating sex pests to positions of authority, and what’s being alleged here is rather tame
Renata Naylor reported “rampant sex discrimination” by her boss at DOES. She says agency leaders failed to address her complaints and fired her soon after.
Now she’s suing the District. Full story:
Now she’s suing the District. Full story:
Department of Employment Services Manager Fired After She Alleged Sexual Discrimination and Retaliation
Renata Naylor accused Daniel King of persistent sexual harassment and discrimination. She was fired soon after.
buff.ly
November 20, 2025 at 2:44 AM
Look, I know something about elevating sex pests to positions of authority, and what’s being alleged here is rather tame
Ugh, staff is telling me that I need to say something about the ERAP portal being open for applications tomorrow, so here it is.
November 19, 2025 at 10:11 PM
Ugh, staff is telling me that I need to say something about the ERAP portal being open for applications tomorrow, so here it is.
We’re in a tough budget environment and we all need to make sacrifices, which is why I will continue to post what amount to taxpayer-funded campaign ads but I’ll make the editing a little shittier.
Federal government shutdown gave us 43 more reasons DC should be the 51st state.
November 18, 2025 at 12:48 AM
We’re in a tough budget environment and we all need to make sacrifices, which is why I will continue to post what amount to taxpayer-funded campaign ads but I’ll make the editing a little shittier.
Can’t say I approve of the emails, but Larry Summers always gave me solid economic development advice
November 17, 2025 at 10:12 PM
Can’t say I approve of the emails, but Larry Summers always gave me solid economic development advice
Of course, I couldn’t do this without the vigorous (lol, lmao) oversight from my partners on @councilofdc.bsky.social. Maybe the next strongly worded letter from @chmnmendelson.bsky.social will get things moving in the right direction!
This is why the best way to make policy is to not look at the data. That way we can blame DC’s affordable housing crisis on shiftless tenants who don’t pay rent—and gut tenant rights accordingly—when the problem is actually that the hacks I elevated can’t spend what is essentially free money.
“DHCD is a mess.” The agency forfeited roughly $35M in federal affordable housing assistance.
Part of that money went to a “credit swap” used to bail out a well-connected developer. Full story:
Part of that money went to a “credit swap” used to bail out a well-connected developer. Full story:
November 14, 2025 at 10:10 PM
Of course, I couldn’t do this without the vigorous (lol, lmao) oversight from my partners on @councilofdc.bsky.social. Maybe the next strongly worded letter from @chmnmendelson.bsky.social will get things moving in the right direction!
This is why the best way to make policy is to not look at the data. That way we can blame DC’s affordable housing crisis on shiftless tenants who don’t pay rent—and gut tenant rights accordingly—when the problem is actually that the hacks I elevated can’t spend what is essentially free money.
“DHCD is a mess.” The agency forfeited roughly $35M in federal affordable housing assistance.
Part of that money went to a “credit swap” used to bail out a well-connected developer. Full story:
Part of that money went to a “credit swap” used to bail out a well-connected developer. Full story:
How DHCD Forfeited $35 Million in Federal Assistance for Affordable Housing and Bailed Out a Well-Connected Developer
DHCD Director Colleen Green failed to disclose the loss of funding when asked during a D.C. Council hearing earlier this year.
buff.ly
November 14, 2025 at 10:06 PM
This is why the best way to make policy is to not look at the data. That way we can blame DC’s affordable housing crisis on shiftless tenants who don’t pay rent—and gut tenant rights accordingly—when the problem is actually that the hacks I elevated can’t spend what is essentially free money.
Will Lewis will print whatever you want if you send him a text asking him how he & Bezos feel about having to write “Mayor-elect Lewis George” next year
Hey @notmurielbowser.bsky.social, did you see your puff piece in the comPost today? How much did you pay to get this piece placed?
www.washingtonpost.com/investigatio...
www.washingtonpost.com/investigatio...
November 13, 2025 at 6:03 PM
Will Lewis will print whatever you want if you send him a text asking him how he & Bezos feel about having to write “Mayor-elect Lewis George” next year
Reposted by Fake Muriel Bowser
This is the most underappreciated poster on DC BlueSky
Hell yeah the ribbons at my ribbon cuttings say “RIBBON CUTTING” on them
November 13, 2025 at 12:33 AM
This is the most underappreciated poster on DC BlueSky
Hell yeah the ribbons at my ribbon cuttings say “RIBBON CUTTING” on them
November 13, 2025 at 12:19 AM
Hell yeah the ribbons at my ribbon cuttings say “RIBBON CUTTING” on them
Sports betting is all over the news lately. Reminds me of the time my administration “negotiated” a $215 million no-bid contract to operate a sports gambling app that generated 1/20 of promised revenues and didn’t work for an entire Super Bowl.
November 11, 2025 at 1:23 AM
Sports betting is all over the news lately. Reminds me of the time my administration “negotiated” a $215 million no-bid contract to operate a sports gambling app that generated 1/20 of promised revenues and didn’t work for an entire Super Bowl.
A Safe DC is a Prosperous DC
November 9, 2025 at 2:04 PM
A Safe DC is a Prosperous DC
Please note, collaboration with our Federal law enforcement partners will operate as normal.
In observance of Veterans Day, DC Government services and office hours will be modified on Tuesday, November 11.
Note that DC Government services will be on their regular schedule for Monday, November 10.
For more information about ongoing District operations ➡️ tinyurl.com/DCVeteransDayServices
Note that DC Government services will be on their regular schedule for Monday, November 10.
For more information about ongoing District operations ➡️ tinyurl.com/DCVeteransDayServices
November 9, 2025 at 12:44 PM
Please note, collaboration with our Federal law enforcement partners will operate as normal.
Let’s be clear: My receptiveness to having the President’s masked goons and MPD terrorize my constituents and the DOJ investigating me for bribery have absolutely nothing to do with one another, and it is a scurrilous lie to say otherwise.
November 7, 2025 at 2:51 AM
Let’s be clear: My receptiveness to having the President’s masked goons and MPD terrorize my constituents and the DOJ investigating me for bribery have absolutely nothing to do with one another, and it is a scurrilous lie to say otherwise.
Janeese will take away our low-number tags, this is a 5 alarm fire folks
November 6, 2025 at 2:34 PM
Janeese will take away our low-number tags, this is a 5 alarm fire folks
I was standing up to Trump before it was cool.
November 5, 2025 at 10:11 PM
I was standing up to Trump before it was cool.
I don’t see anything tonight to show that people aren’t still looking for a pragmatic, pro-growth Democrat to stay the course in uncertain times.
November 5, 2025 at 3:34 AM
I don’t see anything tonight to show that people aren’t still looking for a pragmatic, pro-growth Democrat to stay the course in uncertain times.
I don’t see eye-to-eye with President Trump all the time, but one thing we are in lockstep on is the knowledge that if you, in word and deed, tell the people with the most power to stop you to fuck off into the sun, they will dutifully comply.
October 29, 2025 at 3:59 PM
I don’t see eye-to-eye with President Trump all the time, but one thing we are in lockstep on is the knowledge that if you, in word and deed, tell the people with the most power to stop you to fuck off into the sun, they will dutifully comply.
Maryland and Virginia drivers, you spoke and we listened—the DC streetcar is being taken out of service ahead of schedule! 🎉
October 28, 2025 at 10:57 PM
Maryland and Virginia drivers, you spoke and we listened—the DC streetcar is being taken out of service ahead of schedule! 🎉