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@ochmonek.bsky.social
· Mar 9
more than you can afford pal, ✨Guzmaroli✨
How the fuck did my unstable ass work for 23 years in a heavy industrial environment without hurting anyone else, but I totally fuck up the lady who gave me an allergy shot?! I’m not gonna get over this one anytime soon
February 16, 2026 at 6:28 PM
How the fuck did my unstable ass work for 23 years in a heavy industrial environment without hurting anyone else, but I totally fuck up the lady who gave me an allergy shot?! I’m not gonna get over this one anytime soon
I just broke the allergist's leg while getting my allergy shot. holy fuck I feel really terrible
February 16, 2026 at 5:05 PM
I just broke the allergist's leg while getting my allergy shot. holy fuck I feel really terrible
someone said Travis Kelce looks like the Burger King and I can't unsee it now
February 15, 2026 at 6:59 PM
someone said Travis Kelce looks like the Burger King and I can't unsee it now
I’m not gonna call them mardi gras beads or whatever, they're Jerry Beads
February 13, 2026 at 8:47 PM
I’m not gonna call them mardi gras beads or whatever, they're Jerry Beads
finally got my garage door opener programmed and all I want to do now is open and close the garage door 😭
February 13, 2026 at 8:32 PM
finally got my garage door opener programmed and all I want to do now is open and close the garage door 😭
I need a BMW hat like Corey Haim had in License To Drive
February 12, 2026 at 5:10 PM
I need a BMW hat like Corey Haim had in License To Drive
I still can't determine who is more brattier? Charli or Da Brat?
February 11, 2026 at 11:16 PM
I still can't determine who is more brattier? Charli or Da Brat?
hahahaha fucking douchebag car hahahahhaha I just went to disconnect the battery and the damn thing works again hahahaa stupid thing
February 11, 2026 at 10:41 PM
hahahaha fucking douchebag car hahahahhaha I just went to disconnect the battery and the damn thing works again hahahaa stupid thing
fucken car is broken already! I want my IS back
February 11, 2026 at 10:07 PM
fucken car is broken already! I want my IS back
seems like every ten years people go crazy about the halftime show
February 11, 2026 at 4:20 AM
seems like every ten years people go crazy about the halftime show
Why does she say R-E-S-P-E-C-T and then take out T-C-P? that leaves R-E-S-E and I don't get it
What the fuck am I missing? I don't think I’m mishearing it
What the fuck am I missing? I don't think I’m mishearing it
February 10, 2026 at 6:32 PM
Why does she say R-E-S-P-E-C-T and then take out T-C-P? that leaves R-E-S-E and I don't get it
What the fuck am I missing? I don't think I’m mishearing it
What the fuck am I missing? I don't think I’m mishearing it
I’m thinking about grandpa going for all eight reindeer and his fried potatoes and his mannerisms and how I found out at my mom's funeral that the neighbor's mom warned her daughter "don't sit on Mr. Knight's lap"
I learned pretty early that life sucked
I learned pretty early that life sucked
February 10, 2026 at 6:09 PM
I’m thinking about grandpa going for all eight reindeer and his fried potatoes and his mannerisms and how I found out at my mom's funeral that the neighbor's mom warned her daughter "don't sit on Mr. Knight's lap"
I learned pretty early that life sucked
I learned pretty early that life sucked
Wait, aren't Comet and Dasher two of Santa's reindeer? I was just thinking those are the last two cars my grandpa owned. Hmmmm
February 10, 2026 at 6:02 PM
Wait, aren't Comet and Dasher two of Santa's reindeer? I was just thinking those are the last two cars my grandpa owned. Hmmmm
also, what flavor of crack is Stewart's putting in their tuna. damn I want to make tuna that tastes like that
February 9, 2026 at 1:34 AM
also, what flavor of crack is Stewart's putting in their tuna. damn I want to make tuna that tastes like that
Hey how come the exact same ladies who were all about it when Ricky Martin was "livin' la vida loca" are the same ones shitting bricks about Bad Bunny doing the super bowl halftime show??
Ah, the 90s, that's all i'll say
Ah, the 90s, that's all i'll say
February 9, 2026 at 1:32 AM
Hey how come the exact same ladies who were all about it when Ricky Martin was "livin' la vida loca" are the same ones shitting bricks about Bad Bunny doing the super bowl halftime show??
Ah, the 90s, that's all i'll say
Ah, the 90s, that's all i'll say
why do my sisters text me when they're looking for my dad? what am I, the Italian consulate?
February 8, 2026 at 8:47 PM
why do my sisters text me when they're looking for my dad? what am I, the Italian consulate?
I’m old and unhealthy and was considering funeral plans, but I had a dark ass thought this morning that with the way shits going I probably won't need funeral plans. USA! 😩
February 7, 2026 at 5:15 PM
I’m old and unhealthy and was considering funeral plans, but I had a dark ass thought this morning that with the way shits going I probably won't need funeral plans. USA! 😩
Holy shit THE MOMENT is showing locally?! I had no idea
February 7, 2026 at 5:14 PM
Holy shit THE MOMENT is showing locally?! I had no idea
I think I like Mark Levinson a little bit better than Karman Hardon looooooooooooool
February 4, 2026 at 11:07 PM
I think I like Mark Levinson a little bit better than Karman Hardon looooooooooooool
ever since the grammys I’m getting into Lady Gaga and Bad Bunny
February 4, 2026 at 6:35 PM
ever since the grammys I’m getting into Lady Gaga and Bad Bunny
three people have ridden in my car and all three left their phones behind. Interesting
February 4, 2026 at 2:24 PM
three people have ridden in my car and all three left their phones behind. Interesting
I put Jerry Springers name on my Howard Stirling card
February 4, 2026 at 1:04 AM
I put Jerry Springers name on my Howard Stirling card
Sam Carver plus Wendy Seager equals Sandy Seaver
February 3, 2026 at 11:34 PM
Sam Carver plus Wendy Seager equals Sandy Seaver
come mr. counter man and count my bananas it's morning and I'd like to punch out
February 2, 2026 at 9:20 PM
come mr. counter man and count my bananas it's morning and I'd like to punch out