Old Man Steve
@omsteve.bsky.social
Be kind to yourself and others, and always be safe. I'm on TikTok. I'm in DFW, Texas. Some say I'm a comedian, but I don't think so; I'm just old and do jigsaw puzzles. Sometimes I dance, but I'm not very good
https://linktr.ee/OldManSteve
https://linktr.ee/OldManSteve
Penicillin: What to give a man who has everything.
November 13, 2025 at 2:11 PM
Penicillin: What to give a man who has everything.
A lady was looking for a turkey but couldn't find one big enough. She asked the stock boy "Do these turkeys get any bigger?" The stock boy replied, "No they're dead."
November 13, 2025 at 1:58 PM
A lady was looking for a turkey but couldn't find one big enough. She asked the stock boy "Do these turkeys get any bigger?" The stock boy replied, "No they're dead."
As you grow old, you lose interest in sex, your friends drift away and your children often ignore you. There are other advantages of course, but these are the outstanding ones.”
November 13, 2025 at 1:19 PM
As you grow old, you lose interest in sex, your friends drift away and your children often ignore you. There are other advantages of course, but these are the outstanding ones.”
Why did the duck go to rehab? Because he was a quack addict!
November 12, 2025 at 1:41 PM
Why did the duck go to rehab? Because he was a quack addict!
You can't fight progress. But I've noticed you can unplug a lot of it.
November 12, 2025 at 1:40 PM
You can't fight progress. But I've noticed you can unplug a lot of it.
On my bucket list: To be chased through a kitchen at a Chinese restaurant like in the movies.
November 11, 2025 at 2:05 PM
On my bucket list: To be chased through a kitchen at a Chinese restaurant like in the movies.
Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.
November 11, 2025 at 12:47 PM
Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.
You take away the looks, money, intelligence, charm, and success, and, really, there's no real difference between me and George Clooney.
November 10, 2025 at 9:22 PM
You take away the looks, money, intelligence, charm, and success, and, really, there's no real difference between me and George Clooney.
I'm leaving my body to science because even scientists need a good laugh now and then.
November 10, 2025 at 9:20 PM
I'm leaving my body to science because even scientists need a good laugh now and then.
Well, well, well. Guess who the grocery store clerk asked to come back soon?
November 8, 2025 at 12:45 PM
Well, well, well. Guess who the grocery store clerk asked to come back soon?
I stopped posting things political, religious, or whatnot. I guess I still post some things that are whatnot, whatever
November 7, 2025 at 1:20 PM
I stopped posting things political, religious, or whatnot. I guess I still post some things that are whatnot, whatever
My stress level has gone way down. I've decided I don't care and will never care that I can't fold a fitted sheet. I feel much better, thank you
November 4, 2025 at 2:09 PM
My stress level has gone way down. I've decided I don't care and will never care that I can't fold a fitted sheet. I feel much better, thank you
I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and I think, “Well, that’s not going to happen.”
November 4, 2025 at 2:07 PM
I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and I think, “Well, that’s not going to happen.”
"What did I like best about my last job after I retired?" "Sometimes, people had birthdays and there was free cake."
November 3, 2025 at 11:54 AM
"What did I like best about my last job after I retired?" "Sometimes, people had birthdays and there was free cake."
I can't remember the last time I forgot something.
November 2, 2025 at 12:38 PM
I can't remember the last time I forgot something.
Personally, I don't think there's intelligent life on other planets. Why should other planets be any different from this one?
November 1, 2025 at 11:35 AM
Personally, I don't think there's intelligent life on other planets. Why should other planets be any different from this one?
That awkward moment when you can’t tell if it’s a Halloween costume or their regular clothes…
October 31, 2025 at 4:16 PM
That awkward moment when you can’t tell if it’s a Halloween costume or their regular clothes…
Trick or Treat smell my feet give me something good to eat
October 30, 2025 at 10:52 AM
Trick or Treat smell my feet give me something good to eat
I haven't gained weight. I'm just retaining cookies.
October 29, 2025 at 11:37 AM
I haven't gained weight. I'm just retaining cookies.
I get a little nervous before saying Worcestershire sauce.
October 28, 2025 at 11:43 AM
I get a little nervous before saying Worcestershire sauce.
Your 15 second video will start after this 30 min. commercial...
October 27, 2025 at 11:55 AM
Your 15 second video will start after this 30 min. commercial...
I'm surprised kids haven't found a way to trick or treat online yet
October 26, 2025 at 3:28 PM
I'm surprised kids haven't found a way to trick or treat online yet