Author | Lightnews

Paul “the amazing” Armstrong @paul24fps.bsky.social · 19h

The country is run by people who still eat off of the children’s menu.

Paul “the amazing” Armstrong @paul24fps.bsky.social · 20h

Hemmingway? fuck yeah! I love novels without adverbs!

Paul “the amazing” Armstrong @paul24fps.bsky.social · 20h

You don’t have to say MARKY MARK AND THE FUNKY BUNCH. Marky Mark Implies the Funky Bunch

Paul “the amazing” Armstrong @paul24fps.bsky.social · 20h

BOO! Ghost beer!

Paul “the amazing” Armstrong @paul24fps.bsky.social · 20h

The scariest movie ever made? Scary Movie. its right there in the title.

Paul “the amazing” Armstrong @paul24fps.bsky.social · 20h

Under the wire.

Paul “the amazing” Armstrong @paul24fps.bsky.social · 20h

Challenge: take a bowling ball to the top of the Empire State Building.

Paul “the amazing” Armstrong @paul24fps.bsky.social · 20h

The Monster Mash and O Holy Night serve the same purpose But different holidays

Paul “the amazing” Armstrong @paul24fps.bsky.social · 20h

Looking for the connection between marsupials and mascarpone.

Paul “the amazing” Armstrong @paul24fps.bsky.social · 20h

Weird that the psycho killer speaks French. I had him pegged for Tagalog.

Paul “the amazing” Armstrong @paul24fps.bsky.social · 20h

Out of razor blades. Can I substitute x-acto knife blades instead? Asking for a fiend.

Paul “the amazing” Armstrong @paul24fps.bsky.social · 20h

left the porch light off, opened the door and found 17 trick or treaters dead in the front yard. Safety first, people!

Paul “the amazing” Armstrong @paul24fps.bsky.social · 1d

The Royal Lodge is what (Prince) Andrew called anal.

#Andrew #stripped #EpsteinFiles

Reposted by Paul “the amazing” Armstrong

Paul “the amazing” Armstrong @paul24fps.bsky.social · 2d

Happy #Halloween! Here's my dog's super spooky butt!

#TheThing #Spooky #JohnCarpenter #Dogs #Pets

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Paul “the amazing” Armstrong @paul24fps.bsky.social · 1d

I remember when Kathy Bates was just a mean girl rumor in high school.

Paul “the amazing” Armstrong @paul24fps.bsky.social · 2d

Happy #Halloween! Here's my dog's super spooky butt!

#TheThing #Spooky #JohnCarpenter #Dogs #Pets

1

Paul “the amazing” Armstrong @paul24fps.bsky.social · 2d

The Blues was specifically created so upper-middle-aged white men can feel like musicians on the weekend.

#Blues

Paul “the amazing” Armstrong @paul24fps.bsky.social · 2d

“Masseuse” is the polite way to address a French children’s author.

Paul “the amazing” Armstrong @paul24fps.bsky.social · 2d

I’m disappointed that we’re not friends because you’re the kind of person with whom I would like to drift apart.

Paul “the amazing” Armstrong @paul24fps.bsky.social · 2d

I’m in the early stages of writing massive 800 page biographies of Daniel Stern, Howard Stern, Issac Stern, and more.

I mean to leave no Stern un-tomed.

#Puns

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Paul “the amazing” Armstrong @paul24fps.bsky.social · 3d

Glinda telling Dorothy that only bad witches are ugly then asking her if she’s a good witch or a bad witch is some real low key-Mommy Dearest-bitchtastic shade.

#WizardOfOz #Wicked #Dorothy #Shade #GoodWitch #BadWitch #Bitchy #Oz

Paul “the amazing” Armstrong @paul24fps.bsky.social · 3d

When I heard about a bunch of diseased monkeys spilling out on the highway, I did not assume for one second that they were all wearing MAGA hats and neither should you.

Paul “the amazing” Armstrong @paul24fps.bsky.social · 3d

Unrequited Lust for Life.

Paul “the amazing” Armstrong @paul24fps.bsky.social · 3d

When things go wrong I say “nuts.”

When things almost go wrong I say “taint.”

#language #Idioms #explicative #cussin #Fussin #feudin #fighting

Paul “the amazing” Armstrong @paul24fps.bsky.social · 4d

THIS is how you travel.

#Travel #Fashion #OHare #WorkingIt #SoCool #TheMan #Suit #Chicago #SoulMan