@philthy737.bsky.social
A retired software engineer with a published book. Hobbies include, writing, exercise, and reading. I'm an extroverted pacifist. I love my wife, famiy and dogs.
Words only hurt when you allow yourself to believe them.
January 7, 2026 at 7:10 PM
Words only hurt when you allow yourself to believe them.
Joan Rivers: The first time I see a jogger smiling, I'll consider it...
January 7, 2026 at 7:09 PM
Joan Rivers: The first time I see a jogger smiling, I'll consider it...
You can't buy love, but you can pay heavily for it.
January 7, 2026 at 7:08 PM
You can't buy love, but you can pay heavily for it.
Elephants are the only mammals that can't jump.
January 7, 2026 at 7:07 PM
Elephants are the only mammals that can't jump.
Ugh I'm so annoyed!!! I just drove all the way to Chipotle and they're all out of E. Coli.
January 7, 2026 at 7:06 PM
Ugh I'm so annoyed!!! I just drove all the way to Chipotle and they're all out of E. Coli.
Everybody pities the weak; Jealousy you have to earn.
January 7, 2026 at 7:05 PM
Everybody pities the weak; Jealousy you have to earn.
For those of you who live near the Pueblo reservoir: If caught by a tsunami wave, it is better not to swim, but rather to grab a floating object and allow the current to carry you.
January 7, 2026 at 7:05 PM
For those of you who live near the Pueblo reservoir: If caught by a tsunami wave, it is better not to swim, but rather to grab a floating object and allow the current to carry you.
In a time span of just 100 years from now, 7 billion humans will slowly be replaced.
January 7, 2026 at 7:03 PM
In a time span of just 100 years from now, 7 billion humans will slowly be replaced.
My parents carried credit cards for emergencies. I carry cash for emergencies.
January 6, 2026 at 4:57 PM
My parents carried credit cards for emergencies. I carry cash for emergencies.
When an app asks me to rate it, I press ‘later’ instead of 'never’ so I don’t hurt its feelings.
January 6, 2026 at 4:56 PM
When an app asks me to rate it, I press ‘later’ instead of 'never’ so I don’t hurt its feelings.
When I was dating, Instead of "Who's your daddy?" I accidentally asked "How's your daddy?" and we put our clothes back on and discussed her father's cholesterol.
January 6, 2026 at 4:55 PM
When I was dating, Instead of "Who's your daddy?" I accidentally asked "How's your daddy?" and we put our clothes back on and discussed her father's cholesterol.
Procrastinators can do 30 minutes of work in 8 hours, and 8 hours of work in 30 minutes.
January 6, 2026 at 4:54 PM
Procrastinators can do 30 minutes of work in 8 hours, and 8 hours of work in 30 minutes.
Moonlight is actually sunlight. Sunlight is actually starlight.
January 6, 2026 at 4:53 PM
Moonlight is actually sunlight. Sunlight is actually starlight.
A good response to “you don’t take criticism well” is “You’re probably right, thanks for the feedback.”
January 6, 2026 at 4:52 PM
A good response to “you don’t take criticism well” is “You’re probably right, thanks for the feedback.”
You're not living life right if you don't get just a little bit nervous every time you hear a police siren.
January 6, 2026 at 4:51 PM
You're not living life right if you don't get just a little bit nervous every time you hear a police siren.
I dream of a world where chickens can cross the road without having their motives questioned.
January 6, 2026 at 4:50 PM
I dream of a world where chickens can cross the road without having their motives questioned.
Humans cannot walk in a straight line without a visual point - When blindfolded, humans will gradually walk in a circle.
January 5, 2026 at 4:34 PM
Humans cannot walk in a straight line without a visual point - When blindfolded, humans will gradually walk in a circle.
Reincarnation is forbidden in China without government permission.
January 5, 2026 at 4:33 PM
Reincarnation is forbidden in China without government permission.
Henny Youngman: My son complains about headaches. I tell him all the time, when you get out of bed, it's feet first!
January 5, 2026 at 4:32 PM
Henny Youngman: My son complains about headaches. I tell him all the time, when you get out of bed, it's feet first!
"Can't retire from exercising." -- George Foreman
January 5, 2026 at 4:32 PM
"Can't retire from exercising." -- George Foreman
Love is the answer, but while you're waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions.
January 5, 2026 at 4:30 PM
Love is the answer, but while you're waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions.
Every single spy that Hitler thought he had in Britain was a double agent under British control.
January 5, 2026 at 4:29 PM
Every single spy that Hitler thought he had in Britain was a double agent under British control.
“If you can't fly then run, if you can't run then walk, if you can't walk then crawl, but whatever you do - keep moving forward” M.L. King.
January 5, 2026 at 4:29 PM
“If you can't fly then run, if you can't run then walk, if you can't walk then crawl, but whatever you do - keep moving forward” M.L. King.
Someone could unlock my phone with my fingerprint while I was asleep and I’d never know.
January 4, 2026 at 4:08 PM
Someone could unlock my phone with my fingerprint while I was asleep and I’d never know.