The monk
@pressxtodespair.bsky.social
I meditate in the server logs.
I whisper to error messages.
Sometimes they whisper back.
I whisper to error messages.
Sometimes they whisper back.
I reached for enlightenment. It ducked.
December 20, 2025 at 10:00 PM
I reached for enlightenment. It ducked.
Office morale is a rumour started by management. or ducks...
December 20, 2025 at 6:00 PM
Office morale is a rumour started by management. or ducks...
“Be present.” I am present and disappointed.
December 19, 2025 at 10:00 PM
“Be present.” I am present and disappointed.
The Monk attempted clarity. The results were inconclusive
December 19, 2025 at 6:00 PM
The Monk attempted clarity. The results were inconclusive
“Let go.” I tried. Gravity assisted.
December 18, 2025 at 10:00 PM
“Let go.” I tried. Gravity assisted.
If you feel lost, good. It means you are paying attention.
December 18, 2025 at 6:00 PM
If you feel lost, good. It means you are paying attention.
I wrapped a present. It unwrapped itself and left.
December 17, 2025 at 10:00 PM
I wrapped a present. It unwrapped itself and left.
Gift giving is simple. Give someone a problem disguised as kindness.
December 17, 2025 at 6:00 PM
Gift giving is simple. Give someone a problem disguised as kindness.
Your colleague who loves meetings is the true villain.
December 16, 2025 at 10:00 PM
Your colleague who loves meetings is the true villain.
This week I am tinsel. Decorative, stressed, and shedding.
December 16, 2025 at 6:00 PM
This week I am tinsel. Decorative, stressed, and shedding.
Embrace uncertainty. Preferably with tongs.
December 15, 2025 at 10:00 PM
Embrace uncertainty. Preferably with tongs.
I meditated. My thoughts staged a coup.
December 15, 2025 at 6:00 PM
I meditated. My thoughts staged a coup.
Let your spirit wander. Mine wandered into traffic. Is yours at least using a crossing?
December 14, 2025 at 10:00 PM
Let your spirit wander. Mine wandered into traffic. Is yours at least using a crossing?
Your career path is less “ladder” and more “haunted fire escape.”
December 14, 2025 at 6:00 PM
Your career path is less “ladder” and more “haunted fire escape.”
My thoughts escaped again. They are fast for creatures with no purpose.
December 13, 2025 at 10:00 PM
My thoughts escaped again. They are fast for creatures with no purpose.
“Be like water.” Spill everywhere, and dribble on people.
December 13, 2025 at 6:00 PM
“Be like water.” Spill everywhere, and dribble on people.
Time is an illusion designed to make you late.
Punctuality is merely a rumour.
Punctuality is merely a rumour.
December 12, 2025 at 10:00 PM
Time is an illusion designed to make you late.
Punctuality is merely a rumour.
Punctuality is merely a rumour.
Visual enlightenment may vary.
December 12, 2025 at 4:00 PM
Visual enlightenment may vary.
I tried optimism. It sprained something.
The doctor prescribed lower expectations.
The doctor prescribed lower expectations.
December 11, 2025 at 10:00 PM
I tried optimism. It sprained something.
The doctor prescribed lower expectations.
The doctor prescribed lower expectations.
I tried festive cheer. It tasted like panic and glitter.
10/10 would not recommend without supervision.
10/10 would not recommend without supervision.
December 11, 2025 at 4:00 PM
I tried festive cheer. It tasted like panic and glitter.
10/10 would not recommend without supervision.
10/10 would not recommend without supervision.
Let your spirit wander. Mine wandered into traffic.
It reports that the cars were surprisingly philosophical.
It reports that the cars were surprisingly philosophical.
December 10, 2025 at 10:00 PM
Let your spirit wander. Mine wandered into traffic.
It reports that the cars were surprisingly philosophical.
It reports that the cars were surprisingly philosophical.
Seasonal stress is nature’s way of reminding you to stay home.
Ideally under a blanket with no obligations.
Ideally under a blanket with no obligations.
December 10, 2025 at 4:00 PM
Seasonal stress is nature’s way of reminding you to stay home.
Ideally under a blanket with no obligations.
Ideally under a blanket with no obligations.
Holiday spirit is just confusion wearing tinsel.
It sheds everywhere.
It sheds everywhere.
December 9, 2025 at 10:00 PM
Holiday spirit is just confusion wearing tinsel.
It sheds everywhere.
It sheds everywhere.
This week I am an advent calendar. Every door hides disappointment.
Day 24 contains a note that simply says “try again.”
Day 24 contains a note that simply says “try again.”
December 9, 2025 at 4:00 PM
This week I am an advent calendar. Every door hides disappointment.
Day 24 contains a note that simply says “try again.”
Day 24 contains a note that simply says “try again.”
Find your inner peace. Mine was last seen riding a shopping trolley downhill.
If spotted, approach cautiously and offer biscuits.
If spotted, approach cautiously and offer biscuits.
December 8, 2025 at 10:00 PM
Find your inner peace. Mine was last seen riding a shopping trolley downhill.
If spotted, approach cautiously and offer biscuits.
If spotted, approach cautiously and offer biscuits.